244. Unleash Your Inner Power: Transforming Your Self-Image with Vanessa Raymond

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness. Coach Sandee Sgarlata.

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Hello, everyone, and thank. You for joining me today. I'm so happy you're here. I'm Sandee Sgarlata. I was born in Virginia Beach and raised in the Baltimore Annapolis area and had very humble and tragic beginnings.

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And as a result, my life was a hot mess. Thankfully, 33 years ago, I got my act together, and since that time, I have dedicated my life to serving others and raising awareness that no matter what you've been through, you can choose happiness and live the life of your dreams. Happiness Solved is dedicated to giving you content that is empowering, motivational, inspirational, and, of course, a dose of happiness. It's my way to give back to the world and share other people's stories. This thing called life can be challenging, and my guests share their amazing stories, wisdom, and life lessons that demonstrate anyone can choose happiness.

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You see, happiness is a choice, and the choice is yours. Today's episode is amazing, and I am so grateful for you. Thank you for listening and don't forget to leave a review and follow me on social media at Coach Sandee Sgarlata. Enjoy the show.

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The Nesso raymond, I have been so excited for this conversation because we're on calls together at least. Yes. And I've never really had a chance to sit and get to know you, so what better way to get to know each other? Well, absolutely.

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For my podcast. So thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Sandy, this is so exciting. Yeah.

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And when I was looking at your bio, I'm like, that's where her accent is from because I'm not really good at identifying accents. But you're from South Africa. That's so cool. See, you know, and that's the whole stereotype that I immediately assumed, well, she must be from either Great Britain or Australia or New Zealand. Right.

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And you just make those assumptions, and I was completely off base. And you're from South Africa. How cool. It's all good. It's all very similar.

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I mean, as far as the accents go, as well as my accent is not real authentic anymore because I've been in the US for 23 years, so I've picked up a lot of American habits. However, my parents are here visiting right now, so I think I'm reverting back to having more of an accent because I speak to them all the.

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That'S right. It's kind of like if I spend any amount of time in the South, I start picking up that, you know, you start picking it up. It comes around very quickly. Yes. Well, you've just had such an interesting background and career.

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You are a dancer, a singer. You worked in professional musical theater, and then you transitioned into fitness. You have your own Kettlebell certification company, and now you're an author international speaker. You own multiple businesses. You're a confidence and self image coach.

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I love that we have a lot to talk about. But first I want to hear about your background. So kind of walk me through and walk the audience through because we learn from people's stories. That's how humans learn and evolve. So what is your backstory?

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How did you get to where you are today? Wow. I still pinch myself sometimes. Sometimes I cannot believe I am where I are where I are where I am sometimes I can't believe I am where I am and I grew up in a very small town in South Africa. It's an industrial town.

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It's 80 Johannesburg, and it's tiny. Right? And my mom put me in ballet when I was three years old. And my love for dance just grew and grew and grew, and I never stopped. So growing up, ever since I can remember, when people asked me, what do you want to do when you grow up?

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You ask kids that question, what do you want to do when you grow up? I said I wanted to dance. Right. And then people would look at me with this weird look, like, really? No, a real job.

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Right? Something that actually is a real job. I'm like, well, that's all I ever wanted to do. So growing up, I grew up in music, in theater, and so musical theater was a natural progression for me. But I've always had a lot of interest, so I always thought of that plan B, right?

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So you go, well, what do I do if I can't be a performer? Because it didn't seem real likely back where I lived and grew up, because it's not something people did for a career choice. So much so I always loved art. I always loved the fitness industry. My dad started bodybuilding in his thirty s and I was very young, so I used to go to the gym with him.

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I used to love the fitness world and also the beauty world, my friend on each other and Dewey. I was lucky that through my life I was able to tap into all three of those industries. So I did go to school for musical theater. When I finished high school, I really didn't know whether I was going to be able to be a performer, but I did. I found the resources and there was actually a course in Pretoria, so I signed up for it at the local university there, and I majored in musical theater.

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After that, I performed for, I don't know, I never really counted the years. I'd say maybe 25 years ish professionally. And during that time I also got my esthetician's license and my massage therapy license and then also my Pilates instructors and my yoga and my this and that. So as a dancer going from being physical my whole life, stepping into the fitness industry was very easy. But that transition was very interesting because I always identified as a performer and then suddenly I was changing.

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So it was a little bit of an identity crisis that I went through at that time going okay, because I was traveling a lot, and I really wanted to dig my roots in somewhere, have a family, have children, because as a performer, that's really difficult to do. So I decided to retire from the performance industry officially back in 2007, 2008, and I decided I was going to start a fitness business because I was already certified. I was already working as a Pilates instructor and a yoga instructor and got introduced to Kettlebells, which you mentioned. But it was tough. I was living in Las Vegas at the time, and actually, I didn't really talk about how I got here.

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But, yeah, the performance industry ended up bringing me to the United States, but I moved to the United States officially in 2001. Okay, 2001. And that was also quite a tough transition just because it's a long way from home and I'm really close to my family. I moved out here all by myself. I'm still the only person in my family that lives here.

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My whole family is out still in South Africa, in yeah, but then the fitness industry, I spent quite a few years there. That's also what brought me to Achieve Systems, which is another subject matter, but that got me to wet my feet in the entrepreneurial world. I struggled in the beginning, but I had a lot of help. Joining Achieve systems really helped me. I was able to create my certification program for kettlebells.

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They helped me do that. And then also while I was still living in South Africa and performing full time, part time, I also got my estheticians and my massage therapist license. So I did that part time. So between the performance industry, the beauty industry, and the fitness industry, I came across a lot of people who had self image issues, including myself. I had to work through my own self image and confidence issues.

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And so I came to a point in my life where I was like, how do I bring this all together? I'm a helper. I'm a people person. I'm a people helper. And so I hired a business coach, and she was like, well, why don't you coach people on confidence and success and image?

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Because that was my whole life being a performer, going from audition to audition, starting my own businesses, creating education, doing workshops with people, all these things contributed to what I'm actually essentially doing right now, and that is helping speakers, leaders, and entrepreneurs grow their businesses through helping them improve their confidence in their self image. Well, that's it in a nutshell, and. It'S a natural progression for you because you are a perfect example of someone who I mean, being a performer, that's all image related. The fitness industry, I mean, everything you've. Done has led you image related.

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It's all image related, and, wow, what a natural progression for you. And you've done it yourself, so it's not like you're not teaching anybody something that you don't know. And the confidence thing, I work with athletes. It's all confidence. It doesn't matter what industry you're in, it's confidence.

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It all boils down to that. Know, Sandy, people always ask me, well, how are you different from other coaches? Right? I don't know how many confidence coaches there are out there, but because of my physical background, I'm really a big proponent of connecting the mind and the body. If it's not in your body, if it's just mind, you got to bring the two together.

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So I work with my clients a lot on posture, body language, the things that affect our mental emotional state. But we don't always remember that or know that. How much the way we move, how much the way we show up in the world affects our mental emotional state as well as how our mental emotional state affects our body language, our posture, the way we stand, the way we sit, the way we communicate. And in the end, effective communication really helps us improve our self worth and our self image and our confidence. So it all works together.

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But I tend to start with the body and then I do the mindset piece, obviously, but I go from the body to the mindset piece, which is a little bit opposite from how I feel most coaches work. Well. Yeah, and I like that angle that you just brought up, because if you're in a meeting and you're slouched over, you're not showing up in a way that other people are even going to look at you and have confidence in you. Exactly. You've got to be I always say, right?

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It's a two way street. You have to show up in a way that allows others to respect you and tap into who you really are and see the best version of who you are. Because we all have that. We all have that. It's just being intentional about it.

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Right? Being aware and being intentional. Yeah, for sure. All right, so let's talk about Achieve. Because Achieve is a really big organization that's really doing so much for so many different areas.

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From what I understand, it's like no matter what industry you're in, achieve is something you'll be able to achieve. Achieve what you're going after. Yes. And it is a mouthful to really try and explain to people exactly what Achieve or everything that Achieve offers. But the best way I explain Achieve Systems is that it is a support system for entrepreneurs to help them grow their businesses through resources.

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We offer resources and revenue stream opportunities for you to create the best business that you can and create. We preach seven revenue streams. Right. So we really help you and we offer you the systems and the resources to be able to create those revenue streams for your business. In other words, we have members, we have vendors, we have preferred partners, and everybody works together in collaboration to help each other grow.

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We offer a lot of resources. A lot of people ask me, are we a networking group? No, we're not a networking group. We do a heck of a lot of networking, but we're not a networking group. Networking is one of the resources we offer you to grow your business.

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So we offer live and virtual conferences. We offer five mastermind calls a week that our members can tap into. We also have a networking event system where our members can create their own networking groups. So it's called Achieve Systems because everything systemized and everything is blueprinted. So you can go and pull a template or a packet or a blueprint that's been created for every system and private label it and make it match your business.

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And we help you do that. We help our members author books. We help them invent products. We help them create education. And that's really how I got my Ketlebell certification program up and running, which, by the way, I have to update my bio because I sold that business.

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But I did create the program, and without the guidance of Achieve and Robert, I would have never even imagined that that was something I could do. Because when I sat down with Robert in 2008, because I was struggling, I didn't really understand how to build a business. I stepped off of stage and started my own business. Right? He listened to what I was good at and what I was doing, and obviously he did a little research because he found my little DVDs online.

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He found my Kettlebell DVDs online. He's like, but you have all these DVDs and things. Why don't you create a certification program? And I'm like, I can do that. Right?

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So what we do is we help our members open their minds to the possibilities, and then we help them create that thing or bring it to fruition. My Kettlebell company became such a huge success. I was working with the US army with Gold's Gym, and I had master trainers, countrywide teaching for me. So it was a passive income source for me. Eventually, still kind of sad I sold that one.

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That's incredible. No, but that's really an incredible business model. Yes. And again, not something I think I would have thought I could even do on my own. But having community, having support, having mentors, which we have a whole slew of leaders within Achieve who are here to assist our members and help them.

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Without that support, it's really difficult to sometimes see from our perspective what we are able to achieve. You are so correct, because before we started recording, I was telling you how when I joined the mentor studio, and they were like, oh, do you want to run the podcasting division? And for so long, so many people were seeing me in a way that I didn't see myself as this podcaster. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a podcaster. But it's my podcast.

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Yeah. I just talk to people. I just have conversations because, I don't know, I love to talk. That's what I do. Better way, right?

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What better way to learn? We don't see the extraordinary in that. To us, it's just everyday humdrum, right. But to others. And that's what I say to my educators, right.

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Because I work with the educators very closely. We don't really recognize how much we have to share until someone helps draw it out of us. I had a mentor that once said, every single one of us knows something that someone else doesn't know that they would like to know. So if you just explore that, the possibilities are endless. Yeah, for sure.

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I know. So that's really great because so often I think we have this idea and this trajectory that we want to go on, but maybe that's not the best path for you. Right. And you need somebody that's on the outside looking in to be like right? And that is essentially yes.

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That's essentially why we all when you look at people who are really successful, they tap into having some kind of mentor or group or mastermind or somewhere where they get feedback. We all need feedback because as I say to my clients, when we talk about self confidence and self image, we are very self critical. And we got to remember that other people don't necessarily see us the way we see ourselves. And sometimes it's really great. Now, when it comes to getting people's feedback on who you are as a human being, obviously you want to talk to those people who are nearest and dearest to you, who love you and who respect you.

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You don't want to just go to any Tom, Dick and Harry and get their opinion. But if you know you're surrounded by leaders and you're surrounded by people who are successful, I always say go to those who are doing what you want to do. Learn from them, because they've been there, done that, and no matter what it is. And that's why achieve is so fabulous. Because I think Robert is such a genius.

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He created this monster of a thing. But even though he is the guy and the main mentor and the creator and the founder, he has surrounded himself with a team. He put a team together. That's right. Each one of us have our strengths.

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And so we are there for the community to help them with our strength. And if someone comes to me and they ask me, well, I need help with this, and I'm like, that's not really my thing. There's someone I can send them to. And that is the genius about having such a beautiful community. Oh my gosh, it's so incredible.

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And I interviewed Michael Silvers, who's the co founding member of the Mentor studio. That episode was released yesterday. So it's great that we're having this conversation because I want to keep that dialogue going with my guests to let the audience really just ingrain in their mindset the importance of the community and the mentoring. And no matter how successful you become, there's always somebody else who's done it before you. Exactly.

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And the mentor studio is a perfect example of that as well. And we're loving our association and our collaboration with the mentor studio. It's so incredible. And I think that's another thing that is very, I don't want to say unique about this group because there's a lot of other fantastic groups out there. But the thing that when I ask people what their favorite thing is about achieve, well, number one, they say they love having the support in the community because as entrepreneurs, quite often we feel so alone in our mission, right.

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We feel like we got to do everything. But the other thing that they say is that we cultivate a culture of abundance. Right. There's enough for everybody to go around. So many groups only allow one plumber in and one speaker coach and one this and one that.

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Because we're not a networking group. We are here to support our entrepreneurs no matter what they do. We have multiple of everything. And if you can really adopt that mindset and understand that the community and the world is big enough for everybody, there's enough to go around, we all resonate with different people. Doesn't matter if you do exactly the same thing as the person sitting next to you.

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You do it in a different way, you have your own way of going about it. And whoever is going to go with that person might not be the right one for you. And whoever's going to go with you might not be the right person for that. Oh, for sure. We really adopt that.

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There's no competition. Right. It's all about collaboration. And quite often people don't see that they can collaborate with someone who does exactly what they do and still benefit from it in a huge way. Yeah.

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And you see as a coach, because I'm also a coach and you see a lot of that and there's a lot of that lack mentality out there. And that's the thing that people need to recognize is that there's plenty just like you said. Yes. Not all plumbers are going to be the right plumber for me. No.

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And that's okay. People are just better off having that abundance mindset because there's enough for everybody, there's enough to go around. So I love that about achieve systems. So thank you for really pointing that out. And here's the thing, just to take it a step back for 1 second.

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I'll never forget when I first started dating my husband. We've been married eight years now. It's been, we'd been together eleven, so it was probably eleven years ago. And he took me to one of the local golf tournaments and Tiger Woods happened to be playing that day and yeah, it was pretty cool. And we're standing there and I was like, oh my God, there's Tiger Woods.

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He was in a lesson. He was having a lesson with a coach on putting and I was like, if that doesn't tell know Tiger Wood. You can't you can't know as a dancer. Sandy yeah. You never done going to class.

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So many of my performance friends kept querying, okay, but now you're a professional dancer and you're doing it. How come you're still going to class every day? Repetition, repetition, repetition. You have to keep honing your craft. You can never stop because when you stop, you go backwards.

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Right. And then you're not going to be a success. And it's like that with anything in life. When we talk about success, I can talk about being a dancer and getting up on stage and doing this or that, but it equates with anything in life. Repetition, consistency, discipline, showing up, right.

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Just being present, doing that thing regardless of the fear or the exhaustion or the whatever that is. What sets that 1% of success stories apart from those who might not get quite as far is resilience, right? Yes. No matter what, you keep doing that thing well and it's being accountable, getting someone to mentor you no matter at what level you are. That's right.

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Because every good coach has a good coach. Coach.

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Absolutely. And finding, like we said, also the community, the people surround yourself with people who challenge you so we don't become complacent. I mean, for me that was quite overwhelming right in the beginning as I joined Achieve, because talking about those self image issues, right. I always kind of still identified as that little girl from the small town at the tip of Africa. When people were looking at me as this entrepreneur leader stepping into this organization, at first it seemed so threatening and I didn't really know what to do with it.

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But when we learn how to step into that and understand that having people around us that challenge us, that asks the right questions that have been there and done that, so we don't need to reinvent the wheel, that's what it's all about. You have dropped so many amazing golden nuggets. But I think we've got one more. I know that you've got one more in you. So I want to talk about image.

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If somebody is struggling with their image, what advice can you give that people can apply right now that can help know, even in a small way to work, know what they're trying to accomplish? Sandy the thing with confidence and self image is it is a skill. It's like anything else. You need to kind of cultivate it and practice it's. I always use the snowball analogy, right?

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You get that small little piece and then you start working on that and it snowballs into something bigger. Into something bigger, into something bigger. And the way I always encourage my clients to start is with one habit, something that they do for themselves that they know is good for them, right? It doesn't have to be anything huge, but the secret is sticking with it, because our brains are wonderful, wonderful organisms, right? And you train your brain.

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You have the ability and you know, because you're a mindset coach, right? You get to train your brain and get to rewire those neuropathways by changing your actions and the way you talk to yourself and the way you communicate by yourself and by picking a small habit. And I always say stick to it for at least 90 days, but if you can continue it through your life, that habit will always serve you. But what that does is you are creating accountability for yourself. So whether it is okay, I'm going to wake up in the morning and drink a cup of hot lemon water because I know it's good for me.

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And I'm going to keep doing that for the next 90 days, or whether it is I'm going to take up a meditation practice, or I'm going to do ten minutes of yoga every afternoon, or whatever it might be, or I'm going to do my five outreaches for my business every day. It's only going to take me ten minutes, but I'm going to do it every day. Right. If you can find those things that you can really stick to and show yourself that you can be accountable to yourself, that is where the self love and the self worth begins, right? And then it is a matter of also heightening your awareness as to how are you communicating with yourself.

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What do you say to yourself when you're standing in front of the mirror brushing your hair or shaving your beard or doing your makeup or whatever it may be? Become aware of that and start changing those negative patterns. And you can do that very easily by heightening your awareness and nipping it in the bud and saying, oh, no, how can I change that negative thought to something positive? How can I go, oh, crap, I'm having a bad day, or I don't like my nose to you know what? My nose is unique.

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It's distinguished, whatever. You know what I'm getting at. So find that habit, stick to it for 90 days, see what that does for your self image and your self worth, and then also become really aware of how you're communicating with yourself, because that's also going to affect how you communicate with others. I love it. That was so well said.

00:29:06
Thank you so much, Vanessa. And it made me think of when I'm working with an athlete and we're talking about confidence, I always kind of go like this. I'm like it's like a muscle, right? Because athletes practice it. Yeah, they're familiar with building their muscle.

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They identify with that, and that's what confidence is. And creating those habits, it's like building that muscle and the more you do it. Yeah, and I love that 90 days, because they say it takes 21 days to create a habit. I'm like 30 at the minimum, but 90 is even better. Well, and 90 is that sounds like a lot, but it really goes so quickly.

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And if you just do that and if it's something small, it doesn't seem like a big task. The other little nugget I just want to throw in there is I work with posture a lot, because, remember, not only does the way you carry your body make you feel more confident, because it changes the chemicals in your brain. There's all that science behind that, right? But it's also the universal language of confidence. And when people start treating you like you're confident, even if you're not, that in itself enhances your confidence.

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And you can do that and achieve that by simply finding that beautiful, tall, upright posture that confident people usually acquire. Yes. I love it. Vanessa, this has been so amazing. How can people find you and your website?

00:30:28
Just throw out all that information real quick. Yes, you can find me at victoryinbizb. I Z.com, and my email is easy. It's Vanessa@victoryfactor.com, and I always love new Facebook and Instagram friends. Just find Vanessaramond in Colorado.

00:30:47
You should find me pretty easily. But yes, those are the easiest ways to get hold of fantastic. And I'll make sure all that's in the show notes as well. So. Vanessa.

00:30:56
Thank you. This has been such a pleasure, and I can't wait to meet you in person. I'm sure that our paths are going to cross probably in the near future. Most definitely. Thank you for making this opportunity available to me.

00:31:08
Oh, thank you so much. And thank you for listening, everyone.

00:31:23
I certainly hope that you enjoyed today's interview. Thank you so much for joining me. And as always, I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy, and happiness. Take care, everyone.