347. Athlete to Advocate: Darryll Stinson on Mental Health and Sharing Your Story

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We're all such a pleasure to be seeing you today.

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How's everything going?

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Man, better now.

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Yeah, you know, technology.

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And you know what?

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It may not even end up being like that because sometimes it gets a little fuzzy.

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So let's not worry about that.

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But for the audience, Daryl Stinson is a co -founder of Seeding Greatness, a movement of
leaders restoring the planet and helping humanity to heal through their stories and

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transformational services.

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I love that because that's what this podcast is all about, is healing through stories and
all of that.

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I know you've got great accolades, you're former Division I athlete.

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Your accolades includes top 100 athlete in 200, it's 200, 2008, award -winning higher ed
communications professional, number nine suicide awareness speaker in 2023, and TEDx

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organizer from 2022 on, which attests to the impact of your work.

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I love that.

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Great stories, great stories I'm sure that you have.

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And I'd love to hear the backstory because I'm sure people are kind of like, hmm, who is
this guy?

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So tell us about, I want to go back to college even before that.

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What was going on with you?

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Because I know in your bio you say that you overcame multiple suicide attempts and then
now you're a bestselling author.

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So tell us about that, Daryl.

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Yikes!

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You know, it's interesting, because at the time of this recording, it's September, which
is Suicide Prevention Month.

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And that's not so, I'm so far from that way of thinking about myself that it's hard to go
back and be like, where was I in the midst of it all?

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You know, like, where was I when

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I didn't have the desire to want to live anymore.

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And a lot of it's been because growing up, I was, you know, raised to believe that my
emotions were not safe to express.

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My family members would call me a crybaby.

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I would be, you know,

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banked and told if I cry too hard that I would be given something to cry about.

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And it caused me to kind of suppress these emotions because every time I express them, it
equal punishment or mockery or embarrassment.

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You take that into, you know, me being a division one athlete and that athletes are not
supposed to, you know, display weakness or show

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vulnerabilities or else they'll be exploited.

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exactly, they say don't, don't ever let them see you sweat.

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And that mentality of not wanting people to see me sweat or struggle or have pain or
weaknesses led to a life of suppression where I wasn't authentically being myself.

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I wasn't connecting with how I was really feeling.

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And I didn't notice how much I was suppressing because I played so much sports.

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It's like, you know, you get a good workout and you just forget about whatever you're
worried about.

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I tell people all the time that it's hard to be depressed and out of breath at the same
time.

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So it's hard to be depressed and out of breath at the same time.

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And because it's hard to be depressed and out of breath at the same time, we should use
that for our advantage.

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And like, obviously take runs when we're overwhelmed, go on long walks, get a sweat and
get in some sun, but also be mindful that we're not bypassing our emotions and always just

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staying busy or working out or sweating out and never actually getting emotionally clear
on what's bothering us and what the real emotions that we're

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feeling are and what the real thoughts that are going through our head are.

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And so, you know, as a high level athlete, I could get away with not having a good quality
of life because people respected that I won on the field and that I performed well.

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And that's true for any level of success.

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Like sometimes people, you know, I heard one of my friends say, sometimes you got to check
in on your strong friends too, because we get so used to people like you.

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always persevering, always pouring in other people.

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And we just think like, okay, like they must be good in their life.

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When in reality, their life could have the same challenges that they help other people
through.

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And so for me, I didn't talk about the fact that I was depressed, didn't know who I was
outside of sports.

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That was the only way I got attention and gained love and acceptance.

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didn't know, I have the language now.

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I didn't even have the language then.

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Cause I just didn't want to feel it to have the language.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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you ever have something hurt so bad that you didn't want to talk about it?

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Yeah, yeah, I mean, you and I have very similar, you know, stories in the sense of, you
know, I too was just, I wasn't punished for showing my emotions.

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I was just told to smile and that everything would be okay.

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You know, and what happened with me, while I never attempted suicide, I abused cocaine.

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And Daryl, I remember laying in bed at four or five o 'clock in the morning, so high on
cocaine, my heart was just racing and I would just pray that I wouldn't wake up.

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I just didn't want to wake up.

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And I remember my mother, you know, I was raised Catholic, you know, you always have to
ask for forgiveness of your sins.

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And I remember laying there asking for forgiveness of my sins because I didn't think I was
going to wake up and I didn't want to wake up.

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So I do get...

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a little bit of that of what you must have been going through.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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it, it doesn't matter.

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Any emotion that's overwhelming to a person can be very traumatic and hard.

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you know, a lot of people say like, you know, a lot of people, again, this whole thing is
about surviving suicide, but, you know, there's a lot of highly successful people who

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commit suicide and...

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A lot of people will look at their problems and be like, what are they complaining about?

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Like there's people who don't have running water.

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There's people who don't have, you know, food to eat and like, what is it that they have
to feel sad about?

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So it's not like that the pain has to be justified.

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It's not even that the pain has to be perceived to be something extreme by other people.

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All that matters is if you're in pain, you're in pain.

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And pain comes in a lot of different shapes and sizes and what's painful for me may not be
painful for the next person.

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And yeah, you never know what that person's going through, right?

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The person that cut you off in traffic or the person that was rude to you, you know,
instead of being reactive, right?

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Cause we have a choice as to how we react.

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Instead, geez.

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they must be having a really bad day, you know, let me just send them some grace and
right.

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Something.

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Yeah, yeah.

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So what was the turning point for you to help you reach a point where you didn't feel that
like, cause from what I understand, cause I've talked to people that have been

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unsuccessful in their suicide attempts and I've talked to parents who've lost children and
it's very hard for

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for people to really grasp their head around that, right?

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So what was the turning point for you to help you to reach a point where you had that
desire to live and to want to continue?

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I've heard people say that, I think it was maybe C .S.

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Lewis that said at the end of man is the beginnings of God.

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And I just had to hit rock bottom.

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I just had to come to the end of myself.

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I was fighting against something that was obviously loosening its grip in my life.

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My career was clearly like I was physically unable to play and I wasn't.

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okay with facing that reality.

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I wasn't okay with facing life's on life's terms.

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I wanted the circumstances of life to be different.

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And I held on for two years with all of me like opioids and epidural injections in my
back, nerve killings.

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acupuncture, physical therapy, electrical stem, like, I'm doing everything to numb that
pain so I can continue to play the game.

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And life was trying to say God was trying to say like, there was a different path.

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And so I believe it was Michael Beck with us that says sometimes pain has to push you
until the vision pulls you.

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Right.

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And pain pushed me to change.

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So I, after my last failed attempt at suicide in a Dodge Stratus, I was, you know,
hospitalized in Detroit, Michigan in a psychiatric care facility by choice.

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My mother admitted me in there and man, I found faith.

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I saw my first psychiatrist.

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I did my first journal entry.

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And I actually sat with the emotions that I was avoiding and suppressing and numbing with
all this medication just so I couldn't feel rejected, alone, insecure.

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And once I started to actually sit with my feelings, it was almost like they were doorways
into direction that I was looking for all along.

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And I said, okay, here we go.

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I'm afraid to look at this.

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All right, I'm looking at it.

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Who am I outside of sports?

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I'll let it go.

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What else is there for me to do?

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Not that I'll be successful.

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I know I can be successful, but what's going to feel me?

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And

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I let it go.

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And because I held on and it kept not working, I just said, let me try something else.

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And I literally had like, and this is where people go wrong a lot.

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Some people think that at a moment like this, you have to have 100 % clarity in order to
head in a direction.

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Like they're like, I want to find my purpose.

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And once I get clear on that, then I'll launch the book.

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start the website, you know, go back to school, whatever it is for the particular
individual.

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And then they're just, you know, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, never actually going
for it.

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And I think if people actually gave themselves permission to not be a hundred percent
clear, but I don't know, 15%, 20%, 30%, 40 % clear, 50%.

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I could be right.

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could be wrong.

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So I went back and took undergraduate public speaking courses and because I was following
this, I don't know, 30 to 60 % of a nudge that I was supposed to be sharing my story.

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And I was definitely afraid.

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Hated it.

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Didn't want to talk in front of people.

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I led by example is what I told people.

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And I did.

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but it was also a way to cop out of being emotionally in touch.

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And so sharing my story not only helped me to impact the lives of other people and find
that new path for me, it completely healed and healed me, transformed my life because I

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was opening up and sharing stories that I held a great amount of shame about that I was
telling people stuff that I didn't want anybody to know that happened to me.

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I was sharing thoughts that I didn't want people to know that I was thinking.

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And because I let it out and was willing to put it out there, regardless of what people
thought, man, I got free from it.

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I wasn't caged and suppressed and timid because deep down I was worried somebody was going
to find out that I had these thoughts, these feelings, these insecurities.

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It was all out there and I could lead and be free to be me.

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So I had to break down the breakthrough.

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I had to set back to come back and I had to choose to follow small nudges even though I
wasn't 100 % clear on if this was the ultimate true north of my life.

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Yeah, wow.

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You just dropped so many golden nuggets there.

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And the one thing that I was thinking about is, know, part of the problem is that in order
to grow, you have to be uncomfortable.

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And that's what the pain is.

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And sometimes you have to sit in the pain.

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I know that was my thing, you know, and just really feeling that pain.

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Because in order to grow, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

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think...

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I say that every single podcast interview I do.

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But it's true.

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Yeah.

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common sense is in common practice just because it's simple doesn't mean that it's easy.

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Okay.

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And then you were also talking about just getting it out there.

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And I, you know, I had to go into, you know, when I hit my rock bottom with cocaine abuse,
I had to go to 12 step programs and I'll never forget one of the things that they said,

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we're only as sick as our secrets.

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And when you're keeping all of that inside, just telling another person is freeing.

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You're like, wow.

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I don't have to keep it in here.

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And so I know for me to this day, and that was 35 years ago, it'll be 35 years in January.

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Like to this day, if I'm holding something in that I don't wanna share, I find somebody I
feel safe with and I'm like, I just gotta get this off my chest.

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And it is the most freeing thing.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, for sure.

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And it helps to have that other person, but it also helps to talk it out loud.

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Like I do walk -in talks all the time.

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And know, people will hear me out loud talking to myself.

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Hopefully they think I'm praying.

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And sometimes I am, but sometimes I'm just talking to me.

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And that level of expression gets it out of my head.

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out of my mind, out of my inner turmoil, and it gets it into actually, I'm clear.

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I call it like emotional accounting.

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So you know, when you do financial accounting that you can't have too much in the
miscellaneous category.

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Because if you have too much in the miscellaneous category, you won't actually be able to
get clear enough to know how you can make improvements to your budget.

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Does that make sense?

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Well, you don't know how to make improvements to your budget because you're not clear.

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It's like too much in a miscellaneous.

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Did I spend too much on food or was it too much on gas or was it too much on groceries?

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Did I have too much entertainment?

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Did I pay too much, buy too many courses that I subscribe to many things?

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Like, I don't know because it's all in miscellaneous.

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And most people manage their emotions like they manage their finance.

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They have everything in a miscellaneous category.

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And that's why the most common answer every time you ask someone how they're doing, the
most common answer, you know what it is?

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What is it for you?

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I'm good.

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Fine, I'm fine.

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Yeah, I'm good.

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I'm good.

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How are you?

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Take it off me.

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If you ask me two more questions, I might bust.

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But how are you doing?

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Let me put it back on you before we ask how I'm really doing.

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And that right there.

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That is just, we gotta get used to being okay.

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expressing our emotions, man.

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It's not that big of a deal.

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Like I'm fitting to get vulnerable.

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I'm about to cry.

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Like we don't have to apologize.

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Like emotions are a normal part of our experience.

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Like imagine every time my two year old son was getting ready to cry.

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He was like, hold on dad, hold on.

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I'm so sorry.

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You know, but somewhere we learn, we grew up and was taught that it wasn't safe to, you
know, communicate our emotions.

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And then here we are.

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00:18:15,676 --> 00:18:16,776
Here we are.

215
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:17,808
Yeah.

216
00:18:18,028 --> 00:18:25,223
Well, what always drives me bunkers is that, yeah, finances and your emotions, right?

217
00:18:25,223 --> 00:18:26,584
People don't pay attention to them.

218
00:18:26,584 --> 00:18:29,215
What you were talking about is just paying attention to it.

219
00:18:29,256 --> 00:18:36,951
And the thing is, yes, it's very easy to make the right choices.

220
00:18:36,951 --> 00:18:39,883
It's just not simple, right?

221
00:18:41,024 --> 00:18:43,986
And I mean, at the end of the day, you know,

222
00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:47,753
you talk to guys, okay, how many times are you practicing your golf swing?

223
00:18:47,854 --> 00:18:48,774
Right?

224
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,585
They'll get out there and they'll practice that.

225
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:51,996
They'll pay attention to that.

226
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,119
I just interviewed somebody and she was talking about our phones.

227
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,520
We pay so much attention to our phone.

228
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,272
Like it is like the most precious thing.

229
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,714
And I loved it before we started recording.

230
00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:04,875
You're like, let me make sure my phone, where is my phone?

231
00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:05,175
I don't know.

232
00:19:05,175 --> 00:19:06,386
And you're like, I don't care.

233
00:19:06,386 --> 00:19:08,587
Like most people would be like, okay, hold on.

234
00:19:08,587 --> 00:19:10,829
I gotta make sure my phone's near me first.

235
00:19:11,429 --> 00:19:11,890
Right?

236
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:12,606
Even though

237
00:19:12,606 --> 00:19:15,467
you're not going to be using it while you're in this interview.

238
00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:20,289
We pay so much attention to so many things, except for the things that really matters the
most.

239
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,330
And that's the space between our ears.

240
00:19:23,571 --> 00:19:23,931
Right.

241
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:25,291
It's a practice.

242
00:19:25,371 --> 00:19:26,752
It's a practice.

243
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:27,992
Right.

244
00:19:28,032 --> 00:19:28,932
Yeah.

245
00:19:29,973 --> 00:19:30,333
All right.

246
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,174
Let's get back to sports.

247
00:19:32,614 --> 00:19:37,956
Because as I mentioned, I'm probably going to use some clips for my TV show that's being
launched.

248
00:19:37,956 --> 00:19:39,137
Peak Performance Playbook.

249
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,147
Stay tuned, everybody.

250
00:19:40,147 --> 00:19:40,617
It's coming.

251
00:19:40,617 --> 00:19:41,288
It's in the works.

252
00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:42,578
It's in production.

253
00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:47,611
All right, suicide is a big problem in sports.

254
00:19:47,611 --> 00:20:01,210
It's a big problem everywhere, but as you mentioned, and you were talking about it, and
you said it so beautifully, Daryl, that when you're this strong athlete and you're at the

255
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:06,653
top of your game, people think, you must be doing okay, right?

256
00:20:06,674 --> 00:20:13,396
And then the one story that really stands out is there was an Australian athlete

257
00:20:13,396 --> 00:20:20,211
I don't recall her name, unfortunately, but she didn't qualify for the Summer Olympics.

258
00:20:20,732 --> 00:20:31,101
This was the last, not the most recent one, the last Olympics, and she killed herself and
was successful at it because she didn't qualify for the Olympics.

259
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:33,522
So what is it?

260
00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:42,314
Because there, you know, yes, we all have our vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

261
00:20:42,314 --> 00:20:43,985
But what is it about sports?

262
00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:51,841
Because when you get to be an elite athlete, because I'm a former elite athlete as well,
we think differently.

263
00:20:52,983 --> 00:20:58,476
There's a different, you know, pushing yourself, you know, from very young ages.

264
00:20:58,476 --> 00:21:01,330
You know, for me, it was on the ice.

265
00:21:01,330 --> 00:21:05,813
I could have, I would skate eight days a week if there was an eighth day, right?

266
00:21:06,154 --> 00:21:11,998
Like you're just, we're obsessed and we just, we're a little cray cray when it comes to
that.

267
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:24,926
Do you think that there's a difference there of why people as an elite athlete can have
these great highs and then have those, it's almost like bipolar, but it's not, right?

268
00:21:24,926 --> 00:21:29,091
But do you have any insight on that?

269
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:31,164
Yeah.

270
00:21:32,315 --> 00:21:43,294
one thing is most people don't know what it's like outside of athletics to really push
yourself past your edge.

271
00:21:47,096 --> 00:21:55,616
You don't hurt as much when you fail if you didn't try as hard as you could.

272
00:21:56,336 --> 00:21:57,936
I'm going say that again.

273
00:21:58,056 --> 00:22:03,736
You don't hurt as much when you fail if you didn't try as hard as you could.

274
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:12,856
So if I try 50 % effort and I don't succeed, like, well, I didn't really try my hardest.

275
00:22:13,536 --> 00:22:16,304
But when I give everything I got,

276
00:22:17,112 --> 00:22:26,032
I've been training for a year, two years, three years, four years, eight years, 12 years.

277
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,811
for one race for one fight.

278
00:22:31,682 --> 00:22:33,386
for one competition.

279
00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:36,482
And I feel.

280
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:40,981
Totally.

281
00:22:41,067 --> 00:22:42,483
It's the worst.

282
00:22:42,816 --> 00:22:59,170
sucks and You have such a relationship with yourself when you do things that are hard
physically Because in order to persevere through something that's challenging physically

283
00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:10,520
like sports Or anything challenging I know a friend that's doing a mountain climbing thing
right now and Same thing when you push yourself physically

284
00:23:11,645 --> 00:23:14,853
It puts your psychology on 4K.

285
00:23:18,421 --> 00:23:20,683
Because you get to see how you respond to pressure.

286
00:23:20,683 --> 00:23:23,265
You don't know what's in an orange till you squeeze it.

287
00:23:24,186 --> 00:23:25,547
That type of thing.

288
00:23:25,807 --> 00:23:35,005
So when people lose sports, when people transition, when they don't have that, it's not
always just that they can't compete.

289
00:23:35,005 --> 00:23:38,278
Sometimes it's that they can't compete at the level that they once did.

290
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,701
It feels like failure.

291
00:23:42,082 --> 00:23:45,384
It feels like I'm less than what I've...

292
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:49,543
saw myself as capable of being and experienced myself of being.

293
00:23:49,543 --> 00:23:56,624
It feels like I've worked so hard at something that now I have to like never get to taste
and see what that feels like again.

294
00:23:56,624 --> 00:24:00,974
if I would like sports is one of the only career that like you decline as you go, right?

295
00:24:00,974 --> 00:24:03,424
So you get older and better, right?

296
00:24:03,424 --> 00:24:10,684
But it's like, if I was a 20 year professional as a writer, I'm going to just get, you
know, paid more and more.

297
00:24:10,684 --> 00:24:14,800
And, you know, like I'm worth more, you know,

298
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,575
That's not true in sports.

299
00:24:16,575 --> 00:24:18,300
It's like you're declining, Asset.

300
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,926
You're like a car that just drove off the lot.

301
00:24:22,231 --> 00:24:23,012
Ugh.

302
00:24:23,744 --> 00:24:26,806
And that hurts to face life that way.

303
00:24:27,607 --> 00:24:30,829
But there's nothing like it.

304
00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:37,994
There's nothing like tasting and experiencing what you're like when you say, can't, I
don't know how I felt ever.

305
00:24:37,994 --> 00:24:44,879
I would be able to lift that weight, run that time, climb that mountain, finish that
marathon.

306
00:24:44,879 --> 00:24:46,200
And you do it.

307
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:52,320
The sense of accomplishment that you experienced the, the level of like self

308
00:24:52,320 --> 00:25:01,167
Belief that you have in yourself because you've done something hard physically that you
had to persevere through that in all areas of life where it's difficult to have a

309
00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:12,296
conversation at work, where it is hard to resolve a conflict with spouse, where it is
difficult to make a decision, where it is hard to go for a dream.

310
00:25:12,296 --> 00:25:22,384
Now, because you've conquered something physically challenging, you can do something
relationally challenging or socially challenging or financially challenged.

311
00:25:22,582 --> 00:25:27,787
because the center, the common factor in all of those things is you.

312
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,599
Beautifully said.

313
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,202
Does that make sense?

314
00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:37,183
Totally, totally, totally, What advice?

315
00:25:37,183 --> 00:25:42,358
And look, now it's all good, it's all good.

316
00:25:42,358 --> 00:25:42,982
So what advice?

317
00:25:42,982 --> 00:25:46,457
to change my camera this whole time and it won't let me in the middle of the recording.

318
00:25:46,457 --> 00:25:47,187
I'm so mad.

319
00:25:47,187 --> 00:25:50,962
I was like, I had a backup option, but it won't let me switch.

320
00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:53,092
It's okay, it's all good.

321
00:25:53,092 --> 00:25:59,818
So what advice would you give for an athlete, you know, even an up -and -coming athlete?

322
00:26:00,001 --> 00:26:00,785
Yeah.

323
00:26:02,540 --> 00:26:04,266
What do they need to be doing?

324
00:26:04,266 --> 00:26:05,389
Yeah, read your book.

325
00:26:05,389 --> 00:26:07,181
Who am I after sports?

326
00:26:08,223 --> 00:26:11,096
An athlete's roadmap to discover new purpose and live fulfilled.

327
00:26:11,096 --> 00:26:15,251
The five phases of transition, accept, discover, pursue, persist.

328
00:26:15,251 --> 00:26:17,023
Accept, discover, pursue, persist.

329
00:26:17,023 --> 00:26:18,234
Did I miss one?

330
00:26:18,975 --> 00:26:20,126
Accept.

331
00:26:21,644 --> 00:26:25,503
discover, pursue, persist.

332
00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:26,184
What am I missing?

333
00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:27,346
I'm missing one.

334
00:26:29,648 --> 00:26:32,000
accept, believe, discover, pursue, persist.

335
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,190
That's what it is.

336
00:26:33,310 --> 00:26:36,232
Accept, believe, discover, pursue, persist.

337
00:26:36,272 --> 00:26:37,083
I was missing one.

338
00:26:37,083 --> 00:26:38,974
Okay.

339
00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:50,331
So, so, so that, and again, there's a lot in that, not just for, you know, former athletes
or transitioning athletes, but also for current athletes, because a lot of the pain that

340
00:26:50,331 --> 00:26:56,464
former athletes struggle with is because the, the, the way that they showed up while they
were an athlete.

341
00:26:57,474 --> 00:27:00,106
Like they didn't prepare, they didn't actually give their all.

342
00:27:00,106 --> 00:27:01,668
So now they have regret.

343
00:27:01,668 --> 00:27:02,939
They didn't achieve what they wanted.

344
00:27:02,939 --> 00:27:12,208
So the, more that you can have success in congruency in sports, the easier it will be to
transition when you enter into a new season.

345
00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,787
Does that make sense?

346
00:27:14,787 --> 00:27:16,958
yeah, for sure, for sure.

347
00:27:16,958 --> 00:27:20,860
Yeah, I mean, it's tough.

348
00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:31,136
And nowadays, because in my work that I'm doing for the television show, I've been
interviewing some young athletes.

349
00:27:31,297 --> 00:27:36,740
And these are international level tennis competitors.

350
00:27:38,161 --> 00:27:40,470
And they all already have.

351
00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:42,480
because of where they're training, which is great.

352
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,550
They already have access to sports, a sports psychologist, which is great.

353
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:56,510
At what age do you think kids, that, because you know, usually by the age of 10, right?

354
00:27:56,950 --> 00:28:04,750
You kind of know with kids like, okay, they're gonna stick with basketball or they're
gonna do gymnastics or whatever.

355
00:28:05,070 --> 00:28:10,196
At what age do you think it's important for parents to start introducing

356
00:28:10,196 --> 00:28:22,207
these concepts of the positivity, visualization, talking about your feelings, all of that
at birth.

357
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,862
Sports is what you do, it's not who you are.

358
00:28:26,724 --> 00:28:31,889
Visualization is a practice that's good for life, not just for performance in sport.

359
00:28:32,730 --> 00:28:42,698
My daughter's, man, the youngest one is, she's six now, but she's been meditating since
she was like four or five.

360
00:28:42,698 --> 00:28:45,216
Wow, and that's your influence, I'm sure.

361
00:28:45,216 --> 00:28:49,298
And she's probably the most athletic naturally.

362
00:28:49,298 --> 00:28:52,119
She's got, she's got the stints and jeans.

363
00:28:52,260 --> 00:29:02,395
Like she, she got the, the, know, we've got, you know, people in our family that, you
know, I went to the Olympics and you know, my dad would have been one of the best if he

364
00:29:02,395 --> 00:29:04,467
didn't get hurt, blah, blah, blah.

365
00:29:04,467 --> 00:29:09,369
And so like, she's got the gene and she's already like meditating.

366
00:29:09,369 --> 00:29:12,911
she, I don't think she's visualizing stuff yet.

367
00:29:12,911 --> 00:29:14,796
Like, it's not like I want to go for it.

368
00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:17,999
She still has that innocent child, like I just love playing.

369
00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:20,481
And I'm not trying to force that onto her.

370
00:29:21,563 --> 00:29:23,745
I think that just, I don't think it's an age thing.

371
00:29:23,745 --> 00:29:27,368
I think it's like the moment someone like clicks on.

372
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,332
Yeah.

373
00:29:29,007 --> 00:29:29,330
Yeah.

374
00:29:29,330 --> 00:29:36,393
they go, I want something like so, for instance, our oldest daughter, we could see in her
how much she was like me.

375
00:29:36,393 --> 00:29:40,545
And we're like, man, she's going to speak like she's a speaker.

376
00:29:40,545 --> 00:29:42,045
She's a leader.

377
00:29:42,126 --> 00:29:43,686
Like we can just see it.

378
00:29:43,686 --> 00:29:48,048
It was so obvious that she always got to count these leadership roles and things like
that.

379
00:29:48,188 --> 00:29:55,811
And we played around with her, like speaking with me, like come in, like just, you know,
and it just wasn't it just kind of felt a little forced.

380
00:29:55,811 --> 00:29:57,992
And so we, you know, we never forced it.

381
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:01,282
I don't know how long ago this was a couple months ago.

382
00:30:01,282 --> 00:30:02,072
She comes to me.

383
00:30:02,072 --> 00:30:06,166
She's like, Hey, daddy, told you like a couple of times I was ready to work in the
business.

384
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:07,837
Like, can I add a videos?

385
00:30:07,837 --> 00:30:09,218
Like, why?

386
00:30:09,218 --> 00:30:09,969
What can I do?

387
00:30:09,969 --> 00:30:13,532
Like she, she, she's ready for something to go for something.

388
00:30:13,532 --> 00:30:20,137
She's looking for freedom that she doesn't know how to access and just sees dad is doing
something different.

389
00:30:20,137 --> 00:30:22,598
So I can join in on what he's doing.

390
00:30:22,899 --> 00:30:29,344
So that is a, is a good example of like, Hey, when someone's ready, like they choose it.

391
00:30:29,610 --> 00:30:35,582
As long as you're constantly in the awareness and stewarding of their gifts.

392
00:30:36,603 --> 00:30:46,927
So there was some, let's put her in, you know, Girl Scouts, let's put her in
extracurriculars because we can see innately she needs to develop this leadership

393
00:30:46,927 --> 00:30:48,007
potential.

394
00:30:48,908 --> 00:30:49,298
Okay.

395
00:30:49,298 --> 00:30:54,770
But I think that's these things are life principles, ways of having success in all areas,
not just sports.

396
00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:59,360
So I don't think it's when I hit 10th grade or when I hit varsity sports or anything like
that.

397
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:05,596
I think it's when my light goes on and it's a lot of how I'm raised since birth in more of
a holistic manner.

398
00:31:06,136 --> 00:31:07,207
I love that.

399
00:31:07,207 --> 00:31:08,447
I love that.

400
00:31:09,630 --> 00:31:15,625
So you've got four kids and it looks like from their names you've got three daughters and
one boy.

401
00:31:15,625 --> 00:31:18,538
Right?

402
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,521
What type of parent are you?

403
00:31:21,521 --> 00:31:22,472
I'm just curious.

404
00:31:22,472 --> 00:31:30,829
Are you the dad that stands there and is cheerer or you just kind of sit back and just let
them both?

405
00:31:31,073 --> 00:31:33,014
I'm the weirdest guy ever, probably.

406
00:31:33,014 --> 00:31:35,344
I'm probably the most difficult person.

407
00:31:35,344 --> 00:31:37,355
I'm not a typical guy.

408
00:31:37,455 --> 00:31:39,095
I'm unpredictable.

409
00:31:39,095 --> 00:31:40,876
I'm unorthodox.

410
00:31:40,896 --> 00:31:42,536
I don't fit in.

411
00:31:44,657 --> 00:31:52,039
The first day of school, my daughter was like, this was the first year where she didn't
want me to walk her into her classroom.

412
00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:54,590
It hurt my feelings.

413
00:31:54,844 --> 00:31:55,704
Isn't that hard?

414
00:31:55,704 --> 00:31:56,764
I know.

415
00:31:56,764 --> 00:32:03,104
I was like, I was naive enough to believe that it was never going to happen to me.

416
00:32:03,104 --> 00:32:06,084
I was like, no, I'll be cool that forever.

417
00:32:06,084 --> 00:32:09,324
No, it's over at age 10.

418
00:32:12,056 --> 00:32:17,946
And then because the other ones respect her, they all, I don't even get to, they turn 10.

419
00:32:17,946 --> 00:32:20,136
They all were like, no.

420
00:32:20,356 --> 00:32:23,396
Because I'll come in I'll be like, yeah, what's up?

421
00:32:23,396 --> 00:32:26,656
Yo, and then I'll break the rules.

422
00:32:26,656 --> 00:32:29,116
You know, they're like, sit, sign seating.

423
00:32:29,116 --> 00:32:31,116
like, why can't we sit here?

424
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:33,336
I wouldn't be that with a window.

425
00:32:33,336 --> 00:32:37,656
You know, I don't like that her desk is facing the wall.

426
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:41,661
Why is your curriculum like that?

427
00:32:41,661 --> 00:32:42,471
No, I'm not like that.

428
00:32:42,471 --> 00:32:43,602
I'm not that bad.

429
00:32:43,602 --> 00:32:53,727
But my point is, like, I am loud, I'm noticeable, I draw attention, and then I say things
that I probably shouldn't say.

430
00:32:53,727 --> 00:32:57,939
Not inappropriate, but like, you know, just, I don't know.

431
00:32:57,939 --> 00:33:02,131
have like, can I have the snacks that belong to the kids as an example?

432
00:33:04,052 --> 00:33:06,069
No, those are for the children.

433
00:33:06,857 --> 00:33:08,801
no, I always grab a sucker.

434
00:33:10,008 --> 00:33:11,169
Every time.

435
00:33:11,286 --> 00:33:13,308
Awesome, awesome, awesome.

436
00:33:13,750 --> 00:33:17,016
So we've talked about a lot of different things.

437
00:33:17,016 --> 00:33:18,578
What's next for you?

438
00:33:20,108 --> 00:33:29,555
it's more of the same, but just with the right people and deeper and better as I grow and
evolve helping the people to grow their business by sharing their story.

439
00:33:29,555 --> 00:33:40,922
I believe that everyone has a short story to share and that when we refuse to share our
story, someone is suffering in silence.

440
00:33:41,403 --> 00:33:42,724
And let me get more specific.

441
00:33:42,724 --> 00:33:49,788
Someone is suffering from the pain we were once in inside.

442
00:33:49,974 --> 00:34:02,068
And so in order to be the help that we wish we had or to, what do call it, when you
continue to do the things that were done for you, reciprocate, what's that called?

443
00:34:03,744 --> 00:34:05,144
Is it reciprocate?

444
00:34:05,925 --> 00:34:16,611
When you reciprocate, like, you know, people who poured into you, when you reciprocate
that important to other people, that's what this is about.

445
00:34:16,611 --> 00:34:18,732
And I'm about helping people to do that.

446
00:34:19,273 --> 00:34:27,287
People who have coaching businesses, organizations that are doing great work in the world,
and they want to gain more leads, more exposure, more traction.

447
00:34:27,287 --> 00:34:32,140
They want to impact more people and do it in a way that their business has the economics
to do so.

448
00:34:32,140 --> 00:34:33,330
That's what I'm about.

449
00:34:33,632 --> 00:34:44,808
And so, man, we help people do TEDx talks, we run events every four to six weeks in our
backyard, we do networking events.

450
00:34:44,808 --> 00:34:48,440
There's tons of stuff you can tap into.

451
00:34:49,526 --> 00:34:51,469
Love it, love it, love it, love it.

452
00:34:51,469 --> 00:34:55,794
Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience that we haven't talked
about?

453
00:35:04,476 --> 00:35:14,796
I think just because I'm in the middle of, feeling I'm doing a challenge called the get
book challenge where I'm literally just going live every single day with a private

454
00:35:14,796 --> 00:35:26,126
community, showing them exactly what I'm doing, to triple my business for 2025 because it
starts today, January one starts September 1st.

455
00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:26,776
Right.

456
00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:31,796
And so, you know, I don't want to start my new year's resolution on January one.

457
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:32,568
want to

458
00:35:32,568 --> 00:35:36,068
like be in full swing momentum on doing what you want.

459
00:35:36,128 --> 00:35:38,378
And so the seeds start now.

460
00:35:38,378 --> 00:35:45,228
And so I'm literally going live every day for the next 30 to 60 days and showing people
exactly what I'm doing to make that happen.

461
00:35:45,228 --> 00:35:47,168
Here's the exact message I'm sending.

462
00:35:47,168 --> 00:35:50,308
Here's the exact, you know, one sheet I'm sending people.

463
00:35:50,308 --> 00:35:58,108
Here's the conversations and the quotes and the negotiations, because I feel like I do a
lot of abstract and transformational coaching.

464
00:35:58,108 --> 00:36:02,008
And sometimes it's good to just be all tactical and just go ham.

465
00:36:02,008 --> 00:36:03,048
for a little bit.

466
00:36:03,048 --> 00:36:12,648
And so I think that opportunity exists for everybody, wherever their discipline is,
whatever their goals are.

467
00:36:12,648 --> 00:36:27,148
If you could just get focused and go through like treat today or tomorrow like it's
January 1, and then say like, hey, next 90 days, I'm going to every single day move this

468
00:36:27,148 --> 00:36:28,508
thing forward.

469
00:36:29,544 --> 00:36:36,393
Like I think people drastically underestimate what happens when you compound consistency.

470
00:36:36,918 --> 00:36:37,818
yeah.

471
00:36:38,398 --> 00:36:49,338
I mean, you know, they say just even with athletes, because some of the athletes that I
work with on their mindset, it's like just every week, just want to get 1 % better, 1 %

472
00:36:49,338 --> 00:36:50,198
better every week.

473
00:36:50,198 --> 00:36:51,958
That's it.

474
00:36:52,078 --> 00:36:54,398
Because it does, it compounds.

475
00:36:54,418 --> 00:36:54,768
Yeah.

476
00:36:54,768 --> 00:36:55,248
% better.

477
00:36:55,248 --> 00:36:58,108
And then there's like, Hey, I want to quantum leap.

478
00:36:58,988 --> 00:37:01,268
So I'm down for 1 % better as a principal.

479
00:37:01,268 --> 00:37:03,708
Like I'm always learning, always going, always being coached.

480
00:37:03,708 --> 00:37:07,308
And then there's times where I need a quantum leap.

481
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:10,198
I need to go from a hundred K to 500 K in business.

482
00:37:10,198 --> 00:37:16,868
need to go from, you know, you know, a couple hundred followers to 10 ,000, a hundred
thousand followers.

483
00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:21,768
Like, like I need a quantum leap and that requires a consistent.

484
00:37:22,686 --> 00:37:24,957
application execution.

485
00:37:25,157 --> 00:37:25,537
Okay.

486
00:37:25,537 --> 00:37:32,549
And not just execution blindly with reflection, with coaching, like, man, like athletes
understand the power of a coach.

487
00:37:32,549 --> 00:37:38,600
I think as many, like people, there's still a mentality right now that people are like, I
hate the coaching industry.

488
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,862
It's a coach coaching, a coach coaching, a coach coaching, a coach.

489
00:37:41,882 --> 00:37:50,004
I'm like, duh, I got like six coaches because I understand the value.

490
00:37:50,090 --> 00:37:54,524
of somebody seeing me when I can't see myself and having accountability and having blind
spots.

491
00:37:54,524 --> 00:37:56,215
And it's just like, you know, I've been doing it.

492
00:37:56,215 --> 00:38:02,010
I always had, I had a position coach and offensive line coach, a head coach, a special
teams coach.

493
00:38:02,010 --> 00:38:06,684
And so it was just like, I was used to having multiple coaches around me, the coach,
coaching the coach, coaching the coach.

494
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:11,728
And I was coaching my players and the player, the seniors were coaching the juniors and
the juniors were coaching the freshmen.

495
00:38:11,728 --> 00:38:15,361
like a coach has a coach, other coach has a coach.

496
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:17,412
That's how we grow and accelerate the process.

497
00:38:17,412 --> 00:38:19,672
That's what makes our potential.

498
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:22,572
as humanity, boundless.

499
00:38:23,412 --> 00:38:35,632
So I just want to instill that fire in somebody who thinks that because they've been
procrastinating that now they have to wait a year, two, three, just to see their dreams

500
00:38:35,632 --> 00:38:44,392
become a reality, you can quantum leap it 90 days, consistent every single day,
reflection, coaching, accountability.

501
00:38:44,532 --> 00:38:47,972
And so that's what I'm doing for my community right now.

502
00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:49,630
Yeah.

503
00:38:49,630 --> 00:38:50,931
energy.

504
00:38:51,551 --> 00:38:52,822
What a great story.

505
00:38:52,822 --> 00:38:57,024
And this has been just such an amazing conversation.

506
00:38:57,024 --> 00:39:00,505
And I thank you so much, Daryl, for the work that you're doing.

507
00:39:00,505 --> 00:39:14,011
And thank you for just having that wherewithal to be authentic and help other people to
learn how to be authentic and share their stories.

508
00:39:14,011 --> 00:39:17,094
Because it really is how people grow.

509
00:39:17,094 --> 00:39:19,528
and how we're going to change the world, really.

510
00:39:19,528 --> 00:39:20,218
Yeah.

511
00:39:22,021 --> 00:39:22,502
All right.

512
00:39:22,502 --> 00:39:24,675
Thank you so much for joining me today.

513
00:39:24,675 --> 00:39:26,327
Thank you, everyone.

514
00:39:26,327 --> 00:39:33,077
I hope you and your family are happy and healthy and that your lives are filled with peace
and joy.

515
00:39:33,077 --> 00:39:34,428
Take care, everyone.