291. From Trauma to Transformation: How to Turn Your Greatest Challenges into Strengths with Michael Matucci

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness coach, Sandee Sgarlata.

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Hello and thank you for joining us today. I'm so happy you're here. Happiness solved is the place where we explore everything you need to become the best possible version of you. This is Sandee Sgarlata, and today I've got some exciting news for our dedicated listeners. We've just launched our exclusive members only portal.

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This is your ticket to a world of additional content designed to deepen your understanding and engagement with the happiness solved mission. To learn more about all of the exciting benefits, stay tuned until the end of the episode, where I will explain in greater detail. For those interested now, head over to happinesssolved supercast.com. Today is another amazing conversation, so let's get started.

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Michael Matucci, so excited to be seeing you today. Thank you so much for joining me. How's it going? Fantastic. Ready for some happiness today?

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Yeah. All right. So for those of you who aren't familiar, Dr. Michael Matucci has gone deep down the rabbit hole as both a student and a teacher of a plethora of self development modalities. So you don't have to love it.

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Sounds like me. Let me do the work for you and I'll just share it with you. Right. So you can talk more about your background. And I want to jump into everything you're doing.

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But how did you get to where you are today? First of all, which part? I know, right? I would say there's two ways to answer that question, because I have been lucky to do a lot of really out there things around the world, and there's the technical answer. So a leads to b leads to c, or there's the spiritual answer, which is really ultimately all that's really going on anyway.

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But it's all divinely orchestrated, and I'm very good at following the lead. I check in with headquarters and I carry out the mission. I love that you check in with headquarters. Right? I love, mean, all this time, I love all the mindsets and wisdom and all the other things, but would you rather go to the consultant at Merrill lynch or to accenture, or would you just rather talk to God?

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I mean, for me, it's sort of easy, but we're inundated with these ideas of this is the solution for this, and this is the next step of this. And this is how these tracks go in academia and the self development, personal development, all these things, and they all serve their purpose. But the reality is, and even the stuff that people do take them offline in consciousness, right. They like the plant medicines and these ceremonies and all that. But ultimately, if you choose to take an ascension path, and that ascension path could be in the business world as much as it could be in the spiritual world.

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But moving forward, your potential and living your full life path, it's essential to go direct. It's essential. We are already wired for that. We have it inside of us, but no one showed us how. And they just kind of say it flippantly or they'll go and meditate.

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I meditate for thousands and thousands of hours, and it's great. And ultimately, though, it's only a tool to get that connection going so that I can use it in the present moment. Because when something fires off at home or when something goes left at the office and that trigger pops up and you're feeling anger or frustration, there isn't time to go meditate or go do a ceremony. It's important to be able to tap in, in that moment. And the more that I can do that, the richer this experience becomes and a lot more ease and the body becomes as well, because now it's not battling these situations and telling myself, it's okay, it's going to work out, it's, oh, wow.

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This is the game. The game is that someone blows up right here and then I feel this fire inside of me, and now it's time to play. Now it's time to play. Not to get away from time to play. So I've been fortunate to go, to have a lot of experiences that enable me to come to these awarenesses and develop myself to that extent.

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And everybody can. And I'm still a student of life. There's more to go. We're infinite beings. And that means that I get to stay humble and continue to grow, too.

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And that's what I do. I stay humble. Answer your question? I say yes, a lot. Would you like to try this?

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Yes. Let's go over here. Would you like to live in this new country and do this job? Yeah, sounds great. How about this new activity?

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Okay, cool. I haven't done that before. I have a high tolerance for a low grade of pain. So I can continue to flop and mess up and all this kind of stuff and get back up and just do it again. And my divine guidance, I think those are my three ways I got here.

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Love it. Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm looking at your bio, and you have in here that you've had tens of thousands of hours of dedication to. And this just shows how well rounded you are. Biology, fitness, nutrition, yoga, martial arts, meditation, sociology, multiple languages and theatrical arts.

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You've got the science, the arts, which most people don't have the ability to blend the right and left brain, but you seem to have been able to really do that. What's your drive? What drove you to study these different modalities?

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I was just fortunate to be wired in a way or just taught in a way where you go in hard work, grit. That was my family value, part of my family of values. And so if I had an opportunity to learn something new or got in a situation, I would give it my all. And so that became huge. And so just going in there and doing that, I just went from a to B to c to D.

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So, for example, the foreign languages. I was going to get the time. I was ready for my MBA, and I got into this prestigious dual program where I required a second language to graduate. And I figured, oh, well, I might as well stop my job. Now I have six months.

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I'm going to go to Spain and learn Spanish and then come back and then do this, right, and then start my international management career. And then I get with this company and this IT company in Spain and they're like, hey, can you go to London? They just opened up the offices in Europe and open up this office like we kind of opened up. It didn't work out. Go fix it.

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And then I get in London and I'm like, this is the job I was looking for for after my MBA. Why am I going to go now and do this? Which I did progressively get anyway, but I just took the next opportunity and then from there, from there and someone say, hey, one time I was in Europe. I had been living in Europe for seven years, and I've been doing intermediary work and consulting, helping, helping startups and really noticing the chance to bring a global perspective from my american experience, my european experience, lived in various countries. And I figured, well, I might as well go to China and learn chinese and then I could be a global consultant.

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So then I just went to sounds. That's kind of how I do it. That's how easy it was. For whatever reason, I just said, oh, this sounds good, and I would just keep doing that. And I literally, now I look back now, what was circumstance, now I look back was divine orchestration.

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And preparing me for the mission that I'm carrying is really to ignite the truth, the truth about who we are and what we're doing here and what you're doing here, what your mission as your purpose and how it aligns with the life you already have as opposed to what I did in circumstances and go completely spiritual. No, we're here to live in this, interact in this earth plane. And that means everybody, from someone working at an elementary school to somebody working in aluminum manufacturing to somebody into banking, there isn't a path that's only worldly and only spiritual. Everything is spiritual when we tap into our ability to marry. Like you said, the harmony.

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Yeah, it's obtuse to us in this reality. Now, however, you already are able to do that. It's a matter of tapping into that, and that inner development will enable you or anybody to live left brain and right brain and harmonize what you're doing. You're like, I love to live my purpose, but I have this big obligation with my family. I'm the breadwinner.

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These are the salary I have to have, and this is et cetera, et cetera. But people think it's an if or yes or no, or. What is the terminology? If then or? Well, ab, you have a choice.

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But actually, you can merge these things when you begin to see what's really going on inside of you and who we really are, what we're doing, and then the harmony can come more fluidly. Everyone's capable of it. But, yes, it's very unconventional, which is why I've convicted myself to share and show that it's possible, but also lead people in the way slowly, a little bit at a time, so that they can feel it and then take their next step. Feel it and take their next step. Because I did it the hard way, but you can do it the easy it.

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Love it. Well, you know, I think the older we know, what was it Steve Jobs said? Something like, you can connect the dots from where you were to how you got to where you are today. Something like that. I just totally butchered it.

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But the gist of it is that we can look back in our life and you say, oh, yeah, this led to that opportunity, and because of everything I learned there, helped me in the next one and the next one. So, yeah, I love that. Now, I want to circle back, because you started out and you just said a few minutes ago why we're here. And I was like, ooh, why are we here? What have you uncovered?

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And can you share that insight with us? Happy to. Well, there are various schools of thought that have a general answer to that question. Some people call it a life school or a school. Just an earth school.

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Excuse me. Some people call it, you are burning off karma. You are working off something that happened in the past or you're playing a role in this life for someone else. Some others beings. Some say that you make these packs beforehand, these soul contracts, and come in and you serve.

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And we think that somebody who's living a very awkward, or maybe causing a lot of chaos, that somehow they didn't get the memo. But if you imagine, and that's the theatrical arts helped me at least see this, it's like if you have a movie or a play, you absolutely require the antagonists, you require the people who are apathetic, who aren't on board with the new plan and the new moves and the contrast that comes in and the arguments. Without that, there's no movie, right? And we have this experience. And if everyone just did whatever you would love them to do all the time, life would get boring or in a very minimal, it sounds like, oh, peace.

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But eventually enough, you, if you live by the ocean long enough. I lived by the ocean in the middle east for a while and I would live right by it. And I'm like, I would walk to this yoga class in the morning and walk right on the horizon, see the sunrise. And I was like, this is bliss, this is amazing. But then a month later, I didn't even notice it and I would walk right by it and it was just spectacular.

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So these tensions are here to give us that. And then some say we're here to live a specific, carry out a specific mission. But ultimately I say, when I look at the whole panorama, is that you take these things on board and then you go within. Because no matter what I say or any of these folks say, it's always your journey. And so developing that into your intuition, developing your own divine connection, can just be a little wee bit.

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It can be very subtle. It's not like you have to go start channeling and start a whole podcast. And this is me giving you messages from the Pleiades or from the beyond or whatever, it's just you already have it in you. And as you do that, then you can ask, why am I here? But when you get that answer for yourself, instead of me giving it, which is why I do the work that I do, is, yes, give the answer, but then help people connect to their own ability to do that, because you can, then you'll have that.

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And even me, I had certain purposes, this is what's going to be for sure. This. And then it continued along and it really showed me was only the move to the next piece and then the next piece. So it wasn't like a one and done thing. So it's essential to check in on your own, develop that connection that you already have, enrich in it, and just begin to hear your own answers.

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I love it. And before we hit recording, we were talking about things happen for you, not to you. And it's so hard when we're in the middle of a situation that's causing you frustration or pain or grief, sorrow, whatever those emotions are. It's so hard to recognize it for what it is. So do you have any little life hacks or whatever to help people when you're in that, to really come to that awareness that there's a bigger picture here for all of.

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Yeah, I mean, that's part of the reason why I'm doing the work that I'm doing with encompass life is because we walk people on this journey. Okay, so you come in and you're able to start to, and I did years of esoteric work, physical work, mental, spiritual, all this stuff. And I thought I was doing pretty good. And I went into total service. For two years, I lived as a monk with the camera, bringing out stories from these dark and hidden places and places people didn't want to get around or ignored.

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And then I got into this work by divine orchestration, I believe. And I began to recognize that even all the love and joy that I had generated, all the peace that I generated, there were still these other things going on inside of me. And then what we do is I get into it consistently. So as we go in, I would say intentionally trigger people. It's more of we're bringing them the situation where they have to get raw and real very quickly.

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And sometimes people get triggered, but that's the point, so that we can actually start to peel away what is me, what is my divine self, my core essence that goes beyond this lifetime, and what is something I picked up along the way from mom, dad, my lineage, my own experiences, whatever. And so as we peel these things off, then we're able to then feel the difference. I could give you some hacks, but ultimately it's you generating that ability in yourself and learning to become like a cook. A chef gets great at distinguishing. The palate gets very defined, and you can taste stuff, or the sommelier, and they can detect stuff that the casual consumer won't.

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But that's because they worked it. They worked that sense, and so it's really working. That sense and one little hack people can go away with today is simply that, just feel it. Use your feelings. This society has made emotions and feelings, like sort of poo pooed them or you're emotional and that's somehow.

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Oh, you're emotional. It's best stop. It's like your emotions are an absolute. They are the 6th sense. They are the 6th sense, and we have never been shown how to use them.

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So they're unwieldy, so they're quiet, or they're fireworks, but they're actually this astounding power center that you can use to both detect inside of yourself what's amiss or what's awry, what needs to change, and also use them to direct actual energy where you choose to go in your life. So just start getting in touch with the feeling worlds and really feel what you say. Feel into the choices you're looking to make. Feel into the situation you think is blocked or you feel is antagonistic or annoying. Use your feelings, and it's a muscle you require to work.

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But start by just slowing the mind down, getting quiet and feeling through what you're looking at. I love that. That's so brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing that. All right, so you write in your bio that through all of your experiences, you've decoded the rules of a life game, which, with the proper tools, you feel that we can all play at ever increasing levels.

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So what do you mean by that? Yes, so we use them. People mentioned, have you heard of universal laws or spiritual laws, things like that? People know them intellectually, but they don't live by them, so no wonder. Imagine you're on the streets and they take out all of the people.

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Just ignore the stoplights and the stop signs. It's going to be chaos. And that's what most people are experiencing, that they're like, oh, yeah, forced to arose. And of course we're supposed to stop, but nobody does because they haven't been accustomed to that. So understanding that even what you just said, everything is a blessing, everything is happening for you.

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You can say that. You might have said it before, many times. Whoever's listening might. Oh, I heard that. Heard that.

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But do you really believe it? And that's. Believe is. I love breaking down words is be alive. Be alive in.

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If you believe in something, it is alive in you. That means my automatic response to strife is one of inquiry, remembrance, celebration. Why not? Because I mentally worked my muscle to get that? No, it's because now I've remembered that inside remembered, re member, put back together that knowledge inside of me, and I'm able to walk like that.

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So as much as anyone like to believe a concept, it's living it and being it that enables you to embody your potential in any aspect of life. But it's only while it's in the head and the conscious mind is only really active, small percentage of the time, of the day. It's your subconscious running the show on your old patterns. It doesn't matter how much more you fill up your brain with when your other patterns are going the other direction. It's those required to know addressed another one.

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The law is what is the gospel of Thomas, one of the gnostic gospels. And it says, if you go within, what is within will save you. If you do not go within, what is within will destroy you. I love that. Yeah.

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But then people get a little bit scared of that sometimes, or it's weird, I'm not going to really pay attention to it, but it's so astounding, the universe we really have inside. It's so astounding. So to be able to maximize your experience and begin to play the instructions, follow the instructions of the life game. It's feeling and going within and recognizing that it's a set up. This is an entire orchestration here that we're living.

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And when I begin to see and feel that, then I can live it. But there's no getting around going within. If anybody thought they listened to Sandy's podcast, Philip on the way to work and I'm good, guys, I would love to say that we had the magic pill for you. It's just you would be robbed of the journey, of finding this out inside of yourself and then being able to repeat it. That's the key, because they can come.

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We have a lot of coaches and therapists, and they have clients. I've met people who've done five years and ten years, and I say, well, didn't you get it by now? They're just giving you the answer, just giving you the fish. It's important to learn how to fish and then do the fishing. And that's why I do this really deep inner journeys, because I respect you.

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We respect the people that we do. And you ultimately deserve to be able to use your own skills and talents and your spiritual abilities, and everybody can, but it just requires that dedication, and that's key to this game. It's a practice. And like you said, people want that pill. It's not like taking a pill.

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Happiness is a journey, not a destination. And it's a choice that you have to make every single day and sometimes every hour of every day, every minute of every day, to really focus on it and make the correct choice. Either I'm going to choose to be happy, or I'm going to choose to live in the anger and resentment. And if something's taking somebody away from happiness, people want to meditate that away or massage it away or vacation in it away or whatever, and I get that. And those things have value.

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But that's where the gold is, right? That's where the gold is. There's no video game you can go play where there isn't, like, massive adventure and challenges and all that kind of stuff. And let's just take away your challenges. It's like putting an animal from the zoo in the wild.

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You won't survive. And so you're an animal that's been adept. It's been grown and had great mentors and grew in the wild that they can really excel. And you're meant to do that as well. And we couldn't cheat you from that no matter if I tried, because I tried.

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I tried fixing people, Sandy, you don't know about something about that, too. All of us people, empathic people going out there and like, oh, I'll help you avoid this suffering, or let me get you out of this situation. I stop doing that. I tell you, if you're listening, your coach or a mentor or something like that, ask permission. Ask permission.

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Because they might not be ready for that bandaid to come off or like a tourniquet sometimes, but they may not be ready, and that's not your job to do that. So I look at people. I just extend my hand, I open my hand. Would you like to take my hand? I'll walk with you.

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If they say no, that's fine. And then most important is to do me address those triggers that come up, because that's where your goal is. And that's only thing we can control is ourselves. And that's why we are important to keep present and awake. And then retune your instrument, retune your body, retune your emotional world.

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Emotional intelligence is huge. So that those things, if they come up, and they will, then you get how to manage them and then pull the treasure out of them, which is the best part of all. Yes, it is. All right. I want to go back to one of the things you said, because you were talking about so many amazing things, and you said it very quickly, but I want to go back to celebrating when you do make the right choices, because I think so often we tend to focus on so many negative aspects of our day or our behavior.

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What do you want to tell the audience about celebrating and why that's so important for just moving forward and progressing along this journey. Really? Yeah. As you were just saying, that multiple layers of stuff came up. So let me give you a few salient points.

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One is the way that I first saw it, which is, I believe what you're speaking about, which is we're so these goal oriented. And I was the same way. Like, I would get a degree or I would get some certification or have accomplished some astounding emotional feat, and then I'd be like, okay, cool, I already should have done that. So what's the point of celebrating that, right? And the expectation is unless I had the most amazing experience and the day I filled up, like 24 hours of work and eight hour period, and I was feeling great, that was the only time I would really allow myself to celebrate.

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And that came from my own upbringing.

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It is popular in our culture as well that there is like, you find the problem because the problem is the threat. And then we get something and it's like, oh, I should have got this anyway, I deserve this, so I'm fine. So first, I would say that remembering to celebrate is like a form of gratitude. Something that happened that you enjoyed or you accomplished is a form of expressing gratitude. And when you express gratitude, a very powerful energy you will set yourself up for getting, attracting more of that energy or more things to be grateful for.

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And that is huge. It's much more than a list. Have you ever done the 100 things grateful for Thanksgiving list? I did a few times, but it's not the 100, it's whatever. It's the five you actually feel.

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Go in and actually feel. And you say, oh, I don't feel anything. Just slow down and sit with it until you feel you will feel something. And if you don't, you've numbed out. That's okay.

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People do that. You come to someone like me or someone else who can actually assist you in connecting to that. You have it in you. The other part. So it's the one it's remembering, because that's going to bring you more of things to celebrate.

00:25:42
Two is the energy of gratitude and understanding that whatever we're getting is we're going to get more of what we are grateful for. Right. And third, it's actually the interesting one here, Sandy, and that is celebrating the crap you don't like. Now, why would I celebrate the crap I don't like? Well, there's two reasons for that.

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One is because you created it. So we're a co creator. If you look at something and blame that, oh, this is the reason this didn't happen or that stunk or whatever, then you're abdicating your own power around that. You're saying, this happened to me. This is back to the happened to me.

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So when I own that co creation, oh, wow, my neighbor just totally went to town on me. What's going on? He's an absolute maniac. Or wow, I co created that. What could be happening here?

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And now as I move through that inquiry and so forth, I can remember that all life is happening for me. Then I can celebrate that. Someone comes to me, someone's triggered. We're having a conversation. Woohoo.

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This is great because something's going on here for me and you. Let's look into this. This is a great life moment, instead of this is a horrible moment. Let me run away from this as fast as I can. It's, wow, something huge is happening here.

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Cool. Let's celebrate this. And now we like to dig in or I'll just dig in myself. So it's actually this beautiful touch point. If something really big happens in your life, the bigger it is.

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People like to think that, oh, this horrible sickness or this horrible accident or horrible thing happened in my relationship. My partner did this or didn't do that. The bigger the thing is, the bigger the blessing. That sounds crazy to think about, but in your life path, it might stink in the moment, but it's your life path so you could celebrate. Wow, that really stunk.

00:27:42
Cool. What's going on here? And by doing that, you reclaim your co creative power. And here's the cool thing about that, is that if you can create a pile of crap, that's huge. Imagine how much beauty you can create.

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It's like, wow, look at this horrific situation. I must be here to create massive beauty in this area. And that's how life works when we tune into that. So celebration time. I love it.

00:28:13
I don't think I've ever heard anybody compare it like that. That if you've created this horrible situation, you can imagine what amazing situation you can create. Wow, I love that. That's such a way to just shift it, right? Exactly.

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And it can lead to it. So it's more than just, you did it and then just turn it off. No, what we do and I do is we get into it. Like, okay, want to run from that stuff and heal it away and someone else do some energy work on me or I'm going to take a medicine for it's like, no, if you feel it, that's why people go numb. People.

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I can't feel because you've been numbing yourself instead of feeling what goes on. People don't want to feel anger. They don't want to feel grief. But guess what? If you recognize the blessing that's behind that, you would be lining up to take that ride, but instead, think it's best.

00:29:03
So I get in there and then. Yeah, then usually that big trauma is the act. What we do is, I like to see it as the opposite. So the weakness will become a strength, not the weakness goes away, or my wound heals. I'm healing my heart.

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I'm healing my heart. And, oh, my gosh, this bad stuff happened. And then people drop sympathy on that person. Oh, it's so bad. This guy screwed you.

00:29:26
This woman, your mom, this. Your kid, this. No. Look at this as the opportunity to shift yourself so you can be a bigger lover and a love magnet than you ever thought you could be. This is the training ground.

00:29:40
So when I embrace that, then I can start seeing the blessing that it is and then working myself to the opposite. I work with in my activism work. I've worked with a lot of survivor leaders of human trafficking who are surprising that they're even alive. What they went through, and they're out there, these beacons of transformation and service. Now, many people shouldn't even be alive.

00:30:06
There's only, like, typically die. The average lifespan of someone from the moment they start being trafficked globally includes labor and sex is seven years, seven years of life. So technically, they should even be alive, according to statistics. But they're alive. Beautiful families serving humanity, helping lots of people, inspiring change.

00:30:27
It's like, wait a minute. How did that happen? Well, they've taken this and they've transformed a lot of it. They've taken being exploited and empowering people. That's the power of this reversal process.

00:30:40
They've taken being silenced, to speaking on stages, inspiring other people. And that's the same for all of us. If you've gone through major stuff your family's gone through, brought up in a certain type of environment, you're meant to experience the opposite and perhaps teach, inspire, or catalyze other people to do the same. So amazing. Michael, this has been incredible conversation.

00:31:03
We could talk for hours about it, but we kind of need to wrap up soon. So is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience before we finish up today? I would say your breakthroughs, whatever it is, that if you think you're in a good spot. I often talk to people in the first surface conversation, and they're like, oh, yeah, good. My business is rocking and things are cool at home.

00:31:29
And then when I kind of drop in a little bit more or just extend the conversation out and they start complaining about stuff, that's normal. Recognize that whatever you are experiencing isn't necessary to keep experiencing, but it will keep going until you do something about it, not wait for it to go away. And that's the beauty of life. So I always say, whatever you're feeling, whatever has been your biggest obstacle, whatever the thing is, opposite of your highest choice for your relationship, your beloved relationship, your kids, your parents, your business, your body, all of these things, nothing you have to live with. You can change it all.

00:32:14
You are being of light in the quantum field. You can shift your body. Whether you do that on your own or you take some of the paths I've taken or find someone else or someone like me, you can and you don't have to live with and drag stuff around, you're meant to turn that into your own gold. You're meant to get your own breakthroughs. So amazing.

00:32:34
Where can people find you? They have any questions? Yeah, you can come to my website and I've made a special link for you guys. It's encompass life, like encompasslife combreakthrough. And there I have a special pdf for you all which goes into the things that are a couple of these things, a little bit of stuff we talked about, like the success blockers that people don't realize that are blocking success and nobody's talking about.

00:33:06
So do yourself a favor and grab that. And if you feel inclined, there is a booking link below that. You can grab a chat with me or just peruse the site for other ways to connect. It's up to you. Just offering some opportunity to chat because you deserve it.

00:33:24
There's so much that we can share and help each other with, and we're all here in this kind of cosmic play, and I choose to be the best character in your play. You and mine, is that we're supposed to be. So if you're hearing this and you're inspired, take a look. Encompasslife.com slash breakthrough. Love it, love it, love it, love it.

00:33:45
Michael, thank you so much for joining me today. It's just been a delight. And just love everything that you're doing. And thank you, everyone, for listening.

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I hope you enjoyed today's conversation, and as promised, I'd like to give you more details of what you can expect as a member of the happiness solved exclusive community. First, you'll have access to a treasure trove of extra podcast episodes. These episodes dive deeper into the topics we discussed, featuring additional expert interviews only found here. But that's not all. As a member, you also get access to a series of mindset training sessions.

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These recordings are tailored to help you understand the how and why your mindset is the most important asset you have, empowering you to achieve your personal and professional goals. And for those of you looking to find a moment of peace in your busy lives, we've got something special exclusive guided meditations. These sessions are crafted to help you relax, refocus and recharge. Whether you're a meditation guru or just starting out, there's something here for everyone. Becoming a member is more than just accessing extra content.

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It's about joining a community of like minded individuals, all on a journey to live life to its fullest and become the best possible version of you. So how can you join? It's simple. Go to happinesssolved supercast.com and sign up. Don't miss out on this opportunity to.

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Deepen your journey with us. Again, that's happinesssolved supercast.com and it will also be in the show notes. I am so grateful you're a part of our happiness solved family and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support. Again, I am so grateful for you and I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.