274. Unlocking Financial Freedom: A Woman's Guide to Building Wealth with Jessica Weaver

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Jessica Weaver, it's such a pleasure to see your beautiful face again. How's everything going? I'm good, Sandy. Thank you for having me on today. I'm so excited to be.

00:02:58
Oh, well, thank you so much. And I'm so excited for this conversation because anytime we can talk about women and money, it's such a great topic that we all so, yes, Jessica Weaver is a wealth advisor. You're a tv host. Bestselling author. And you're the founder of the Women's Wealth Boutique, which is the fastest growing female owned financial firm in the United States.

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That's a lot to carry, right? Yes, it's been quite a journey, especially over the last few years. We opened up our doors at the women's wealth boutique in March of 2022. We brought on four female advisors last year, three this year. We're growing about 15% to 20% a quarter.

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We've had about 300% growth over the last year and a half. And even tonight of this recording, our tv show is premiering on the e 360 network. So I feel like these blessings and opportunities just keep coming more and more that we fall into alignment with what we're here on earth to do, who we're supposed to be serving, and it's been incredible. I love it. So behind you, for those that are just listening to us on a podcast network, behind Jessica, she has all of her books, and I love all of them, and we're going to try to touch on each, but I definitely want to talk about the one because it's standing out to me.

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And you've got a little globe and you've got the book, strong woman, strong assets, but just the title alone, it's like, yeah, let's talk about that. Just dive into that book and what women can expect when they read that book and how it can help them. Sure. This book came out in 2017. It was my first book of the three year stronger, stronger assets.

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And I found out. When was this? Probably January of 2017. I found out I was pregnant. And the next day, Sandy, I decided, I'm going to write the book.

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I had this on my mind, and what better time to think about legacy and mission than having one inside of you growing? And I promised my husband, I'll get the book done before the baby comes. May of that year, May 17 of 2017, became a bestseller. It launched, came out, and then in August, our daughter ended up coming. And it was interesting, too, that to be part of the journey of writing the book and then finding out she was a girl in the midst of writing it.

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So beautiful. But this book was really special to me. I had been writing my blog, not your father's advisor, for over a year, I want to say up to that time. And I saw now we're getting thousands of women coming to read it. And there was this thirst for women on financial literacy and to get more engaged with their money, partnering that with how many times I have heard from women that they feel bullied by their advisor, they feel like they're getting spoken down to or they're speaking right over their head.

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They're intimidated to ask questions. So how can we give a format where we're meeting women, where they're at? And what's that first step? To get engaged? And how can then we build momentum from there?

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So for this book, I interviewed about 50 women who are going through a transition. And that's what this book really is about. How do we make it through that transition, not just survive it, but then thrive afterwards? I do a ton of divorce work. My grandmother went through two horrible divorces.

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So you learn about those in there as well. It can be women retiring, downsizing, moving from one career to the next, or leaving a career to start. Something that they're passionate about, having their own business as well. And you see, and I asked every single woman two questions. What got them through it?

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Because I swear, as you probably see, Sandy, every woman has that little gem of advice, that little tip, that thing that helped them every day wake up and get out of bed in the morning? And then the second question was, what did they wish they had known? Because there's so many times. Right, hindsight bias. I wish somebody just told me that this was my money, that was his money, instead of me thinking it's all commingled together.

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Let's say for a divorce, something simple like that. What do they wish they had known, looking back? What would be that advice they would have given themselves? And we tend to keep these a secret, but they're so powerful to then share with other women. So you learn the financial things that you need to know, the red flags, the pitfalls, the strategies to move through that transition with your money.

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But then you also hear all these other real life examples and other women's advice, too, within that book. I love it. And I've been through everything that you said. Maybe that's why that book was calling out to you. We'll send you a copy.

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Sandy. I went through a divorce. I'm happily remarried. And it is interesting, the whole money conversation, because now in my second marriage, we keep everything separate. And I made some of those mistakes in my first marriage because I managed everything.

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Wow. And everything was just in one. But then all of a sudden, when the divorce came, it's a whole different story.

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Thank you for sharing that. Then I promise I will get you a copy of that book. I know you're past it now, but I'm sure it's going to resonate. And you could. Well, yeah, because we're always.

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Every season of your life, you go through changes. And then before I hit the record button, I was just telling you that, yeah, we recently downsized. I left my corporate job. A lot of identity shifts happening. I'm in podcasting full time, 100%, because I'm also launching a television show, which I think, are we going to be on the same network within e 360?

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Vitality. Yeah. Vitality, yes. Okay, great. So we'll be on the same network there, but, yeah.

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And there's a lot of fear. I know that's been coming up for me lately because it's only been a few weeks and the last paycheck is already in the bank and gone. Right. And I'm like, okay, right. But it's okay, right.

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That fear is real. So let's talk about that, because that fear of financial security can really be debilitating, and I know it can come from various places in your life. What do you tell women who are struggling with that fear? Because I know it's been creeping up for me a lot lately just because of my transitions that I've been going through. Oh, of course.

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And like I said, our tv show is premiering tonight. It's been a whole whirlwind of emotions over here for myself and that fear, and fear being out there. Right. What are people going to say? Think, feel a failure?

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We put so much pressure on ourselves as women. So many expectations, this burden of everybody's problems we throw onto ourselves. There is a lot of fear, and we know that there's a pay gap between men and women. How are we overcoming that? That pay gap is stemming all the way from childhood, when we're not even educated about money.

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And sometimes we even witness our brothers being spoken to about money, but not us. So now there's an unworthiness. There's a gap in our worth. There's a gap in our financial education, that literacy. So if we don't feel worthy of the education, we're definitely not going to feel worthy of the money either.

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And it's why women are very timid to go and ask for a raise or to negotiate for a higher salary when they get a job offer. And then that stems to the pay gap. That stems to the millionaire gap. Women are a third of the millionaires. We control less of the world's wealth as well.

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So our mission is, how are we helping women overcome that? And it starts with the education. So, pinpointing, where's that fear coming from? Is it a childhood trauma? Usually our relationship with money starts between the ages of three and seven.

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Did we see our parents fight about money? Did we see our parents go through a foreclosure or arguing about the bills or being told, I don't have enough money, mommy, can I get this ice cream cone? No, we don't have enough money for that. That sticks with us. And now from then onward, everything's just going to reaffirm that belief and make that belief stronger.

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So usually there's a childhood wound that we need to first attack and heal in order for us to move forward and be able to process it. So we use, especially in confessions of a money queen, my last book. We do many meditations. We do a lot of journal work in that book. There's different exercises in it.

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You can even download money meditations to listen to, to open up into that subconscious to see what have we been blocking. And there's so much of that sabotaging ourselves, the unworthiness not being enough, having to validate. We were talking about before. In the corporate world, we are killing ourselves working nonstop. We have put the hustle on a pedestal that we have to try to achieve, and it's because we don't feel like we're enough unless we are constantly hitting the pavement and constantly hitting burnout to prove I am worth this amount of money.

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I felt that way when I started in the financial industry. Women will make only 18% of advisors. So I felt I had worked two, three times as hard to show my worth being a female advisor. I also had joined my father's firm. So now I have to overcome being daddy's little girl on top of it.

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Where's the fear coming from? How can we heal it and then build trust? And we're going to look for proof on how you have intuitively leaned on your decisions and it worked out for your benefit. Overcoming things, decisions that didn't work to our benefit. But it's, most of the time, it's because you didn't know any better.

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So getting educated will build the trust building in. And again in confessions of a money queen, we go through different money systems, building in practical money systems, so that when money comes into your world, you know exactly what to do with it and how that dollar is working for you, whether it's to build savings, build up your retirement, pay off debt. So now you can trust. I know what I'm doing with my money. I'm maximizing my efforts.

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Right. It's growing efficiently. That's all going to help overcome that fear. But it's not just getting it into the right investment. There's also this internal work we have to do.

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Oh, yeah. Because we can spend it just as fast as it comes in. Right. Because what is that? It's just that you're afraid you're going to lose it, so you just spend it all.

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Yes. You're going to blow it. It's going to be taken from you anyway, so at least I'm going to enjoy it. Right.

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Or people are just hoarding it in a bank account, not knowing what to do with it. And that's just as bad, right? Hoarding of money is just as bad. Yeah. Yes.

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It's just sitting there and it's slowly depreciating with inflation so high, you're losing that purchasing power little by little each day. We call it the silent tax. You don't see it, but it's happening. It's happening. And then fast forward a few years.

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It can make a big impact on it. Yeah, for sure. Okay, time to refine is your other book. Yes, time to refine. Talk about that book.

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This is about retirement for women. And we shifted from retirement to refinement because I'm noticing this huge trend with women that we're not retiring and sitting on the couch eating bond bonds. Are we, ladies? No. Usually women are retiring with a mission, with a purpose.

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They're going to volunteer more. They're going to help churches write grants. I have a one woman, she wants to do Doctors without Borders that we just started working with. They want to fuel their passion, start their own business or volunteer travel more. There's so many different facets to a woman's retirement now.

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So that old notion of retirement, we kind of threw out the window. And time to refine is what does that transition look like for you? And we go into financial side of it, your lifestyle, the health, because we have health care costs, long term care, nursing homes, all of those pieces as well. And then your legacy, your estate. Right?

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What is it that you want to be remembered by? And we talk about these stages of retirement first. We start with the Honeymoon stage. And we all can imagine that honeymoon stage when you are first dating somebody and everything's great. You're traveling together, you're eating out.

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That's kind of like you with retirement or refinement, right. That corporate job that was just taken a huge toll on your health, your family, your lifestyle. You'll travel. That's gone. And now you're like a new woman.

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What do I going to do with this time? You're working out more. You're traveling, you're outside more, seeing people seeing places. Then we move to the relaxation stage. So you're still out there, you're still going.

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But it might not be. I have some clients, and they're doing these three month cruises through Europe, through Canada to Alaska. It's insane, right? You're not doing those lengthy. And we just have clients who came back from.

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We should write a travel book. I swear they did northwest national parks, and then this last trip were the southwestern national parks, and they said they were walking about 20,000 steps a day. Wow. And they're in their sixty s and seventy s. So you're not doing those trips, but you're really enjoying your time.

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Right. And then that last stage is the reflection stage. And you're now starting to think who my family really matters to me? Who do I want to make sure that I'm including in my legacy? You're sharing more family stories, family momentum, heirlooms.

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You're bringing that next generation in. You are communicating more with them, really, what's important on your heart. You're trying to get out, spending more and more quality time with people. And we look at that, how can we also bring that reflection in throughout our lives? So we don't get there and there's regrets or we feel like it's too late, but we can share that legacy the entire time as well.

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Love it. Absolutely love it. So what golden nuggets can you share with some of the audience that they can apply right now to help them build their assets, get pay off their debt, things like that? All right, we're going to start, and I do a whole presentation on internal wealth versus external wealth. So let's start on the internal wealth first, because how we view money is how money is going to show up for us on the external world.

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It's just kind of a mirror of it. So if we feel we're in lack or scarcity, and this could be around time, if you think to yourself, I don't have enough time for this, chances are your money is also going to be in lack. So keeping those in check and get in check and getting very curious about your thoughts around money and becoming disciplined at filtering your thoughts. Which ones are working for you? Which ones are working against you?

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And I do this every morning. I have a daily money practice. We talk about this in confessions of a money coin. We have a whole course that goes along with it. And every morning I sit down and I do a meditation.

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Could be ten minutes, 15 minutes. Doesn't have to be long. I do some journal work. I do gratitude work. And I get very centered and grounded in who am I today?

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How do I want to show up and how do I want the day to go. So before I used to go into work, start with emails, and now I'm letting emails dictate how my day is going to go versus me taking that power back. So I encourage everybody to find a time and it could start with ten minutes, 15 minutes. I loved it so much that it became usually about an hour I'm sitting there and if I'm helping people with their money, I need to know that I'm showing up in a very abundant, expansive, in alignment way. Right.

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So that's on the internal side, then on the external side, some things that you can start to get the ball rolling are sit down and if you are in a relationship, do this with your spouse or partner and identify your top three goals. They could be financially or not financially. If they're not financial, chances are money is impacting those goals. No matter what. Money touches everything, right?

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And prioritize them. What I've noticed, especially with partners, one could be very long term focused and one could be short term focused. So their priorities, they could have the same goals, but the priorities are going to be off. So getting on the same page and having open communication about it. And then the second step to that is, do you have any money that's earmarked towards these goals?

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And are you adding to that money? And this is when I talk about my stable money saver, that's the start of it, is what are our goals? What accounts or vehicles are there to fund those goals, and how are we adding to them consistently? And then that next step is, and one of the goals, like you said, could be paying off debt. That could be one of the goals or a bucket.

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How are we adding to it? How are we consistently adding more to them, and then how are they being invested? So we're optimizing growth potential on them. So that's the beginning work that we tend to do when we start working with clients one on one is goals. How are we align them with the right account, the right investments, get them growing?

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And then the last piece, I would say, sandy, is the accountability. Who's holding you accountable to doing these steps? Whether it's that daily money practice or setting aside money every month, every paycheck. And that's why most women love working with us, because of the accountability check ins as well with it. So put together a schedule of how are you doing this?

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How are you keeping yourself in check and consistently showing up for your money so that your money consistently shows up for you. That's the goal, right? Money coming in? Yeah. Well, because money is an energy and you can attract what we put out, we bring back.

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And I have a coach that I work with, and we were having this conversation last week, and then we touched on it again this week, and he was like, how we think about money makes a big difference, but it's also what you're putting out there is going to tell money how to treat you, because money is an energy just like anything else. Just like this pen. Right. And I thought that was really interesting, and it was like, oh, how often he uses example. Like, what do you do when you see a penny on the ground?

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Most people just ignore it. Well, if you're ignoring that penny that's on the ground and people are stepping on it, is that how you're treating your money? Right. And it was just an interesting way to look at it. So much so that I was going through security last weekend at the airport, and I found a penny and I was getting ready to go through, and I didn't know what to do with it because I couldn't put it in my pocket.

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So I put it on the thing, and the man got so mad at me, the TSA officer, and I go, but you can't let it sit on the ground. And he was, know, some of those TSA guys are by the mean. And I just thought that was really interesting because I hadn't really thought about it that way. And to be quite honest, in full transparency with my audience, this conversation about money and the way you think about it had never even come into my realm of reality until probably two years ago. And it was literally interviewing people on my podcast.

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And I just started thinking, wow, what is my relationship with money? Like? That's a big thing. It's a big deal. Your relationship with money?

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Yes. Do you avoid it? Do you pay attention to it? A lot of times there's a lot of anger with it. And it's fine to have that anger or sadness, frustration, bitter, all of it.

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How can we move through those emotions so that we can get to, like, happiness solved, right? That you're happy with money. And I had a call with new clients on Monday evening, and I asked them about money and their thoughts or feelings around it, and I said, what about can money be fun? They go, I've never thought about money in that context. That money could be fun, that it could be a game and something that's going to bring us together instead of us arguing over it or it being a topic we don't even want to talk about because we're not happy with where we are with money.

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But can we flip that switch? And no matter money, it impacts every area of our life. There's a lot of emotions tied to it, a lot of fears. How can we move through those emotions, not ignore them, not stuff them deep down? Because we know that's going to resist money more and more, but get to a place where we're satisfied and grateful.

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Like you're grateful for that penny you found. Money is constantly coming into our world. Are you showing it any gratitude? It's kind of like, how would you treat your spouse if they help you out? You're going to express gratitude.

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I feel we tend to be angry with money at times or upset or why is this happening again? And we find ourselves in very patterns, a lot of repeating patterns. And there's generational cycles of money as well. In traumas, traumas. Abuse tends to last multiple generations until somebody's willing to do the internal work to break that chain and move forward.

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And I think so many parents have been coming to us because they want their children to have a higher leg up than they did. And how do they build that multigenerational wealth so that not each generation started from scratch again? Yeah. Wow. This has been such an amazing conversation.

00:26:35
And we could just talk for on and on and on and on. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience that you haven't touched on before we finish up? I would say, Sandy, that it doesn't matter what age or stage you are in life, just know that if you are committed to something, committed to getting your money, to a place where you feel secure and comfortable, even free, having that peace of mind around money, that you will find the resources and that. So I work with women, whether they're starting, just starting out, or they could be age 70 and they're looking to retire, it doesn't matter. We will find the resources.

00:27:16
But work with somebody because they're going to see what we've been blocking so many times, especially with money, we feel very trapped with the situation we're in. But to me, when people feel that there's always an opportunity and there's options, so don't feel trapped. Know there are options, but reach out to somebody who can help you. Doesn't matter what age or stage you're in. I love it.

00:27:41
And for those who are just starting out because I used to be in human resources, start putting into that 401k right now. That is true, Sandy. Yes. Even if it's $25, start small, but be consistent with it and it will keep growing it and growing it. The consistency, it doesn't matter the size.

00:28:02
It's that consistency. To me, that makes sense. Yeah. Because I'm telling you, I just turned 58 a few weeks ago and those were the fastest 58 years. Oh, my gosh, I'm 58.

00:28:16
How does this happen right at all? Thank you. But that's why I always, with my son, he's starting a full time job in January and I'm like, you start putting in that four hundred and one k and now, well, I'm only 23. It doesn't matter. Age doesn't matter.

00:28:32
And you end up having to save less money that age. So it's only going to work to your advantage. Use time to your advantage, for sure. Jessica, it has been such a pleasure. All of your information will be in the show notes.

00:28:47
Reach out to Jessica or one of her advisors at her firm. Get her books, the confessions of a money queen. That sounds incredible, especially since you've got the meditations and that just seems like. A really interactive book that we put together. Thank you, Sandy.

00:29:04
Thank you so much for having me on here. It's been so much fun. Thank you, Jessica. And thank you, everyone for listening today. I.

00:29:21
What a great conversation. And thank you again for listening today. If you're enjoying the content, please subscribe, like and review. And if you're eager for more content, go to glow FM happiness solved and join our exclusive membership portal. I also invite you to follow me on Instagram and Facebook at coach Sandee Sgarlata.

00:29:41
Again, I am so grateful for you and I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.