270. Empower Your Path: Rae Irelan's Inspiring Self-Discovery Story

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness coach, Sandee Sgarlata.

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I am so grateful that you are a part of our happiness solve family, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your ongoing support. Now let's dive into today's episode where I will be having an amazing conversation. With yet another rock star. Oh, and remember, happiness is a choice and the choice is yours.

00:02:49
Rae Ireland, it's such a pleasure to be speaking with you today. We had such a great conversation before I hit record, so now we get to start all over. How are you today? I'm so good. Thanks for having me on your show.

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Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here and for the audience. Rae Ireland is a globally acclaimed, transformational mentor, business coach and speaker, amplifying the voice, vibrancy and visibility of global leaders. I love that. You're an award winning singer, a musician and visionary producer.

00:03:19
You're number one bestselling author of blame it on my soul and creator of. The Miracle Moment podcast. So we're going to talk about all. Of that, but before we do, I want to hear about your backstory. How did you get to where you are today?

00:03:34
Totally. So I'll give you definitely the short version if you want the long version with the juicy details and all of that, the adventure, all of that. Read my book, put it all in there, blame it on my soul. But the short version is I've always just been an artist at heart. Grew up dancing in the ballet studio and theater, and just very expressive and dynamic in that sort of way.

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Went to school for dance. I'm a San Diego girl. Ended up on the east coast for a while, dancing, living out my dream. And while I was over there, I was pushing myself. Push, push, push, as many of us high achieving women want to do.

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Like we got to make it. And pushed myself so much into many, many injuries by the time I was 21. So there was a moment where I actually found myself where I could barely walk or turn my head side to side. And that's when it was kind of the first earth shattering, something's got to change moment. But like many people, I still didn't really want to address it too much.

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I didn't want to go into the nitty gritty. I was like, I'll just stop dancing for a moment. And I shifted my gear into my music, into singing. I ended up co founding a band and that adventure took me on a whole other whirlwind where we grew this band grassroots touring around the US, and we toured for about five years. Wow.

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And during this time, it was incredible because we went from literally playing music on the streets. I was fresh out of college and as an know, not really having much money to pay the bills. So we were literally just going from one town to the next, barely with enough money for gas, getting food, kind of donated to us via our songs and followed that dream through into playing festivals, playing and performing in amphitheaters all around the country. And then ended up after the band took a hiatus, went on my solo journey as a singer songwriter and took that around the world, touring around India, Greece, Indonesia, Europe, just all these amazing, beautiful places all through Central America. And while I was on that journey of really diving into my singer songwriter, I had also found and stumbled into just deeper understanding of some of the issues that I had pushed down for so long.

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So this all got brought up because at the end of the time with my band, I actually got into a big car accident. And this car accident was not very common because it was actually partly me wanting to leave. It was a suicide attempt in really needing to get out of my body, out of this life. And I was just so at my wits end of not understanding why things weren't feeling smooth and right and cohesive, even though I had followed my dreams and done all these things that people say, this is what's going to make you happy. So I was really confused.

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And during my journey of traveling around the world as a solo performing artist, I really got to kind of have that time to just sit with myself and be like, what happened? Why did I get to the point of getting into this car accident, having this near death experience where I drove off of a cliff and I thank God every day for what happened on the other side of that, which was a deep spiritual awakening and a realization that this was my choice to stay here. And if I want to stay here in this life, I can't keep having the inner voice saying, I want to get out. I need to leave. I got to get out.

00:07:32
I'm not meant to be here. So I really just went on this exploration of finally throwing my hands up in the air, saying, hey, I need help. First of all, the awareness is the first step. And then calling in different mentors, leaders, healers, inspirations into my life and really getting personal and saying, this is what I've been dealing with and how can I move through this? So I stumbled into the personal development space, the healing, pretty much anything eastern, western, I tried it.

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You name it, I've tried it. And what it really led me to was just this deep exploration of a deeper connection with myself, God, and really my community, my values, and then being able to find it on the other side of going through this journey and then being able to express it through the arts and kind of create this ripple effect where as I'm sharing my journey, I get to inspire others. And in that inspiration, I get to step into my highest self. So it's kind of this beautiful accountability that I think gets created as we start to express and share our story. And that's where I kind of got led into writing my book.

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I've written and produced multiple albums, just kind of sharing the journey. And then I would say, most recently, I've gone into a whole new chapter of life, becoming a mom. I have a son who's almost one year old and came into partnership with my man around creating a podcast production agency that we've been working on for now a few years. And so there's all these different beautiful shifts and twists. So I guess that's kind of the nutshell of it all.

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We can dive into any parts of that that you feel called to. Oh, my gosh. Wow. I wasn't expecting the car accident. You drove off a cliff.

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Yeah. What was going through your mind? Was it just literally like, I'm done? Yeah, pretty much. It was like everything and nothing at the same time was going through my mind at that moment.

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I had just wrapped up a tour. At that point. We were touring. We were performing about 25 shows a month. Each of those shows in different towns and cities, so it was full on.

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We had just had our homecoming show, and I just was done. My relationships were dissolving. Like, at my fingertips, my relationship with myself was dissolving. I was broken out in a rash all over my body because of overstress, overwork. And I remember just basically saying in my mind, I'm done.

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I'm done, I'm done. I want out. I kept saying, I want out, I want out. And I got into my car that night just being like, I just want out. And I just remember pushing the pedal to the metal and just having simultaneously not a thought in my mind, not a care in the world, because I didn't care.

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I didn't see the big picture. I wasn't aware of it. I was so caught in just being so far in the space of overstressed, overwhelmed, and then suppressing it. I hadn't talked about it. I hadn't shared it with anyone.

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I had been on the road with a band of me and a bunch of guys, and I didn't have the support. I didn't have the systems or the tools in place to know where to put that energy or how to redirect it, because the truth of it was, there was a lot of energy that just wanted to be moved and used. And so over the years, I've kind of figured out how to do that in various ways, and mostly through the arts, really. But, yeah, at that moment, it was like it all just kind of went out the window, and it didn't matter. Wow.

00:11:21
Well, thank God you survived. And what was it like for you? Because I'm guessing you probably don't remember. Like they say, when things like that happen, you don't remember a lot of it, and I'm guessing you woke up in the hospital. Actually, no.

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Okay, so tell me what happened, because I'm curious, when you realized, wow, I'm still here, what happened next? What were you thinking? So I'll give you kind of the play by play car goes off the cliff and I leave my body. This is the part that it's like, what happened? And a lot of people talk about it, but it was like I felt like I kind of went into a bright white light and it felt peaceful.

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I was like, oh, I'm finally here. I felt at peace with knowing that this was the end. And what happened next was I heard this God voice and it was a voice that I had not heard ever before in my life. It wasn't my inner voice, it wasn't these other guides. It was just this very almighty presence.

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And I remember him saying, you've been asking for this your whole life, which was true. I had always felt uncomfortable in my body. I had many of these issues that I kind of had shared about that I'd shoved down eating disorder since I was eleven. Growing up in the ballet studio, trying to be perfect all the time and all the other traumas, nothing special, just the traumas of growing and becoming a woman. And I had just always wanted to get out.

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I never felt like I really belonged here. And so I heard that voice say, you always wanted to leave. Here's your choice, here's your chance. And I remember thinking, oh, awesome, get me out of here. I was like, all for it.

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And all of a sudden it was like I was on a train and you're going past the views really fast. But the view was my life, my future life. I saw my future family, I saw the future business I was going to have the impact I was going to have, the happiness I would find, the health. I saw my current family and also a growing family with my own kids, a husband, all of that. And it hit me in the heart.

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And I remember just being like, wait, that's what I have to look forward to. Like, wait, no, I want to stay. And as soon as I felt that, I immediately dropped back into my body, into the rolling car. And I remember thinking, well, that was a crazy experience. And at this point I'm like, that was a dream.

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This can't be real. The car is rolling. And I had had many, many dreams of being in a rolling car accident. So I'm just, okay, I'm dreaming. I was completely relaxed.

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And then finally the car landed straight up. I again continued to think I was dreaming. So I just got out of the car and I started slapping myself, trying to wake myself up. When that didn't work. I started looking around.

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I crawled up the canyon. Thank God for those adventure rock climbing skills that my dad gave me. Climbed right up, and there was a guy laying on the ground, and he was crying and very upset, screaming. And I look at him, are you okay? And he goes, were you just in that car?

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Like, yeah, what's going on? Again, I just thought I was in the dream. He said, I just watched the whole accident. I thought you had just died. I don't know, but I thought you had just died.

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And I pick up the guy and I say, no, I'm fine. Is this a dream? And then basically from there, things got blurry because the ambulance came, the cop cars, all this stuff. And then it was kind of that reality hit of just dropping back into the present moment, saying, this is actually my life and this is real. This is very real.

00:15:12
I checked my entire body. Not a bruise or a scratch. It was totally a God moment, a miracle moment that my life was saved. And on the other side was the intensity of the reality that I was living in. There was a DUI.

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There was all of these very intense life issues, but at the same time, there was just this beautiful experience of this intense expansion and realization that I am now choosing. I'm taking that ownership. I'm stepping out of any type of victim mentality. And from here on out, I am an active participant in creating my life moving forward. That's actually just such an amazingly beautiful story.

00:15:56
And the way divinity works in each of us is such a miracle. And that's how I see it anyway. Absolutely. I totally agree. And, yeah, it's like the most incredible thing, and at the time, it was the worst thing.

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I actually start my book off with me being in jail, which had happened right after this, and it was just incredible, even the synchronicities that happened from there. And I think it's never an easy road that any of us take. I think some people need a little bit more shock to the system. Like, I'm a skydiver. I'm an adventurer.

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I needed that intensity to kind of wake me up. For others, it might just be a phone call that can shift and bring that divinity in to change everything. So I always like to say that because I know my story is pretty intense, right? And we're certainly, by all means, don't do this. Right?

00:16:59
Yeah, don't do that. Easier ways, which we'll probably get into sharing and why we have podcasts and tools like this. I share from a space of encouragement of find your people, find your tools before things like this happen. Because so many lives can be saved. Exactly.

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It's amazing because of what I get to experience now on the other side. So anyone that's experiencing this type of thing, you feel like you don't have hope. There's always something more on the other side of that. Like, hang in there. Yeah, for sure.

00:17:33
Well, thank you so much for that vulnerability and sharing your story. So let's talk about your book. Yeah.

00:17:42
Your bio has already been put aside. Yeah. Blame it on my soul blame it. On my soul so when you just see the title, I'm like, blame it on my soul. I'm like, okay, but dive into that.

00:17:54
Where does that come from? Because I know it's something very profound after having this conversation with you. Yeah, absolutely. So, like I said, this was one of the moments where I really got a huge awakening into stepping out of that victim mentality that I think so many of us are conditioned to be living in. In fact, I think I'm still dealing with this every day.

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It's like, we are snap out of being a victim. We're never done right. We're never done with this thing. And so it's really bringing in some humor into kind of an intense story, which is like, you know what? Just blame it on my soul.

00:18:29
Let's pass the victimhood off to some. If we're going to pass it to something, just pass it over to my soul. Because my soul knew. It's the idea of this soul contract. We sign up to come.

00:18:40
We sign up to get these lessons, and we also sign up for the intensity of it. And I truly feel like I came here to have that accident happen, among many other pitfalls that I've fallen into. But also, I've signed up for the highs that I get to experience and the community that I get to build and the people that I get to serve and the family that I get to be a part of. And so it's a play off that idea, kind of bringing humor, bringing a little lightness into the victimhood mentality that we are all working through and just really recognizing that our soul came here and we all made the choice to be here today. In this age, with all this stuff going on, I think it's just so easy to go into wanting to escape, wanting to numb, whether it is sex, drugs, alcohol, this or that.

00:19:34
But how can we really remember and remind ourselves and each other that we were born to be here now? And so if we were born to be here now and to experience these, what are we going to do with this? What are we going to do with our time and our opportunity and our resources and bring that type of intentionality into living, which is really where the artist comes in, because artists are intentional and they get to make these choices, and you can make a choice to even be messy if you want. And so really living in that artist way where you're creating your life as if it is a masterpiece, and isn't it a masterpiece? So if we can bring that level of intentionality and heart and love, we can really do something amazing with our lives.

00:20:21
Even if that's amazing, just within sight of your household and home, it doesn't have to be this big global thing. But one household at a time that has a focus of love and intentionality, I think, can change the world. Oh, my gosh. And I love how you said that so beautifully, because we are here for a reason, every single one of us, no matter. Even if you're just.

00:20:44
And I don't say just a stay at home mom lightly, because I was just a stay at home mom for ten years, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and I couldn't wait to go back to work. Totally, right? But no matter what it is that you're doing, we're here for a reason. And I heard, oh, no. It was actually one of my coaches, craig Siegel.

00:21:07
His book right now made it to Wall Street Journal bestsellers list, and it's called the reinvention formula. And he talks in there, and I said to him, I remember texting after I read that. I was like, oh, my gosh, I've never seen it this way before. But he said he felt like when he realized that he was, like, on Wall street and wasn't that thing, he realized his path, and he goes, I felt like I was given an assignment. And I think about that all the time.

00:21:41
And as a matter of fact, on my iPhone, on my alarm, it's wake up. You have an assignment to do. Oh, I love that. Every day I am on assignment here, and this is my life's purpose. This is my soul's purpose, my soul's journey, and I'm on an assignment, and this is my assignment.

00:22:00
And my podcast was part of. Even. We were just at a mastermind last week in Asheville, and one of the guys was speaking about how there was a time in his life where he felt disconnected to his job. And he was an entrepreneur, so not even his job, his business. And he started saying, and, you know, God, universe, give me a job.

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And he was like, I know that sounds funny, as an entrepreneur who's, like, running a big business, but a big company. But I just kept asking, give me a job. Give me a job, because I wanted to get more connected to that assignment, that soul assignment of, like, why are we really here? And I just love that. That felt really resonant with me.

00:22:42
So same line? Yeah. So tell me what some of the golden nuggets that you offer in the book that people can apply right now. Do you have one or two things that people can apply right now to their life that will help them find that purpose that you work with your clients on? Yeah, absolutely.

00:23:01
So I like to break it down into just three easy steps. Let's just keep it simple here. Keep it simple. So step one, dream. Step two, transform.

00:23:13
Step three, impact. And I have tested that formula out. When I'm creating an album, I've tested it out when I'm launching a new business. I've tested it out kind of all over the place, and it seems to really be simple and right to the point. And so the first piece around dream, and also, basically, we go through these three steps within the book, and then there's also a workbook that you can go along and really apply the stories and the lessons into your own life.

00:23:43
So that workbook is actually for free. It's called the Soul Expression guidebook. So you can find that on my website, which I'm sure you'll have a link to the bottom. So, dream, it's just to activate the what if in your life and get yourself open, get yourself into that blank canvas sort of state of mind where anything is possible. After you do that, you kind of just knock the lid off of it.

00:24:10
Then you can go into transform. Okay. What pieces do you actually want to keep? What do you want to see change in your life? Transform is usually the messy parts.

00:24:19
The transform in my book is where I really got into the nitty gritty of looking at what were the inner thoughts I was dealing with. I started really working with mentors that were ready to show me the real mirror that I was not ready to look at before of myself and how I was acting, how I was connecting with people, how I was even doing business. And so transform is when you really make those commitments to look at things differently. And I think at that point, it's so important to have aligned proper leadership in your life with people that have similar values so you can really follow a proven track towards the spaces that you want to go. And then after transform, it's impact and I kind of said this early on, which is I believe when we share our stories, when we impact others lives, it not only supports other people, of course, but it actually supports us in holding to our own highest vibration and our own highest leadership.

00:25:24
So it's the idea that if you're teaching someone else, you get to learn it double and really your information really sinks in. So that would be the last piece, is impact. And I really believe it's a circular experience where we get to continue to dream, transform and impact over and over again in our own lives. And as we bring people in, it also kind of shows the different microcosms. So the dream is really a personal experience.

00:25:54
I feel it's like an internal experience. The transform is where you might have more of an outer circle that is supporting you. It's kind of where your family, your nucleus of people that are around you get to be involved. And then the impact is where you can really look at more of a worldly perspective as well. So looking at the me, we and whole are also kind of some good frames that you can go through this process with.

00:26:20
Oh my. It. I love it. This has been such an amazing conversation. Rae, is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience that.

00:26:28
We didn't touch on today? Let's see. Well, I think just the piece around really allowing things to continue to evolve. This has been something that I've been thinking of and experiencing as a new mom and as pieces have been shifting in my life. And as I really talk to more and more people, I think so many of us are in transformational experiences that are happening at a rapid rate.

00:26:54
So just remembering to take the time to allow integration to happen while you're evolving. Our podcast production agency is called Evolve podcasting because we've also been noticing this in the business spaces as well. Isn't there so much changing so fast with AI and technology? And so as we take these steps forward, I just want to presence, continuing to take that time and that space to be intentional, to really treat life and what we're creating as that masterpiece. With the support of AI and everything that we're going in, decisions are being made so, so fast and so it's an amazing experience.

00:27:39
It's like being on a roller coaster when you're a creator, especially because we're like, oh, look at all the stuff that we could do. I have nine arms now and all these people that can help me, all these AI people. And so just really being intentional, bringing your heart into every decision you make, even if you're making way more decisions than what you're used to and taking that time to integrate, stepping into nature, just putting your feet on the earth, helping to ground and really remind yourself why you're here, remind yourself of that great assignment. I love it. And I love when you said integrate, because I think a lot of times, whether it be you read a good book or you go to a conference, whatever it may be, we don't take that time to really let it sink in and integrate within us before we start moving on to the next thing.

00:28:34
Totally. Yeah. We just got back from, actually, our first family tour with the baby. So we've been on the road for about a month and a half. We went to all over, I mean, multiple states.

00:28:47
We went to Europe. We took the baby everywhere. We were doing all of our things, events, masterminds, music gigs. And we just took one day. We said, when we get home, we need at least one day to integrate.

00:28:58
And it was so interesting because we could already see we were starting to plan the next tour, and we were so excited and the next business things, and there's some things that fell through the cracks because we were having so much fun. So we got to get on top of that. And we said at the beginning of the day yesterday, we said, we need boundaries on our integration day. We cannot talk about the future. And it was like, such a weird feeling because I think as an entrepreneur or as a creative, you're so excited to keep moving forward.

00:29:26
So to actually take that time and say, we just said, we just want to remember our favorite moments. And we ended up driving, getting burritos, and we just sat on the beach and walked around for 3 hours just remembering, and we got home just feeling like, okay, now we're ready because we really soaked it. That was that integration. If you can have an integration day. Yeah, it's the best.

00:29:50
That's beautiful. And I love that you did it together. So that's even more special. Love it. Absolutely.

00:29:56
Rae, where can people find you and your book? Yeah, you can find me online social media under Raeland, Raeland.com. That's where you can find my book, the free resources, extra fun content, of course, online courses, all the fun stuff. So under Rae Ireland, my book is called blame it on my. Also, my music is out there on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music.

00:30:23
We got my podcast, Miracle Moment, focusing right now on the mommy season for all those mama preneurs out there, which is really fun. You can find that on all the platforms. And then we have our podcast agency evolvedpodcasting.com where you can check that out. See, we have about 10 million downloads in our ecosystem, so it's really fun getting out incredible stories around health and wellness and personal development and spirituality. So lots going on over here.

00:30:54
Yeah. Come join me. Come join the journey. You can follow us on. We post a lot on Instagram, all of our family fun things and the funny stories along the way.

00:31:04
Our baby's hilarious, especially during these travels. He's a little dj baby, so lots of good stuff there. Oh my gosh, Rae, I wish you all the best. Let's stay connected. And I'm just so excited for you.

00:31:18
Thank you so much. Thanks so much for having me on. Absolutely. And thank you everyone for joining us today. Thanks.

00:31:35
What a great conversation. And thank you again for listening today. If you're enjoying the content, please subscribe, like and review. And if you're eager for more content, go to glow FM Slash happinesssolved and join our exclusive membership portal. I also invite you to follow me on Instagram and Facebook at coach Sandee Sgarlata.

00:31:55
Again, I am so grateful for you and I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.