228. Overcoming Inferiority Complex with Drexwell Seymour

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness. Coach Sandee Sgarlata.

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Hello, everyone, and thank. You for joining me today. I'm so happy you're here. I'm Sandee Sgarlata. I was born in Virginia and raised in the Baltimore Annapolis area and had very humble and tragic beginnings.

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And as a result, my life was a hot mess. Thankfully, 33 years ago, I got my act together, and since that time, I have dedicated my life to serving others and raising awareness that no matter what you've been through, you can choose happiness and live the life of your dreams. Happiness Solved is dedicated to giving you content that is empowering, motivational, inspirational, and, of course, a dose of happiness. It's my way to give back to the world and share other people's stories. This thing called life can be challenging, and my guests share their amazing stories, wisdom, and life lessons that demonstrate anyone can choose happiness.

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You see, happiness is a choice, and the choice is yours. Today's episode is amazing, and I am so grateful for you. Thank you for listening, and don't forget to leave a review and follow me on social media at Coach Sandee Sgarlata. Enjoy the show.

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Drexel. Seymour, it's such an honor and a privilege to have you on today. How's it going? Thank you so much for being here. It's going really well, and I don't take this opportunity at all lightly, so I am grateful for the opportunity.

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Well, thank you. And you're in the Turks and Caicos? Yes, I've had people from all over the world, but this is definitely a first. Okay. Have you been to Turks and Caicos?

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I went to Turks and Caicos early 90s, maybe nine. Nine? It was a very long time ago, and I have not been back since. And it was a situation where it was my ex husband, and this was actually before we were married, and it was one of his college roommates father had a friend that owned a house, and so we had the house that overlooked the ocean. And it was funny because it wasn't funny at the time, but while we were there, there was three hurricanes off the coast that were headed in the direction and at that time, there was one flight out every single day.

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Yeah, right. It wasn't as popular of a destination as it is now, and we were fortunate that we escaped. I don't think it ever really amounted into anything. But the funny thing, because of the pressure, the air pressure from the hurricanes, we started finding all of these scorpions really inside the house, and we were like, that was scarier than the hurricanes. Yeah.

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Of. So you are a CPA and the author of Rise Up and Take Your position. You host a weekly radio show called Financially Speaking, and you also host a YouTube channel and writes articles on a weekly basis. Now, that's all really amazing, but what I really want to talk and we'll talk about all that in a bit. But what I really love, you write here in your bio that you suffered from inferiority complex for most of your life and was finally able to overcome it.

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And you're now on a mission to inspire, encourage, and influence others. That's really amazing. And thank you for showing up like that. Thank you. So many people, especially men, right?

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Yeah. They don't want to talk about that. They don't want to talk about that, right? Yeah. Right.

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And so I love that you're willing to talk about it because there's going to be some listener out there that's going to be so inspired that may want to either take action because of their own circumstances or be inspired to help others with the same thing. Absolutely. I'm hoping yes. That's incredible. So let's start with your story.

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How did you get to where you are today and what led you on this mission of yours to inspire people about this inferiority complex? Because it can be a struggle in terms of your mindset, and it can stop you from really pursuing the dreams that you may have and the things that you want to accomplish in your life. Yes. Well, for most of my life, I thought that I was a mistake. I shouldn't have been born.

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And I felt that I didn't like myself. And so I always thought that people were better than me. And because of how I look and because of my dark skin color, especially within my black raids, I end up thinking the worst of myself. It took me many years. In fact, I think in my late 40s is when I overcame it.

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Okay. Yeah. So what did that look like for you in terms of can you just dive a little deeper into that and how you even came to the awareness that, okay, this is not something that is serving me? Sure. Well, initially, I didn't know what it was, but what I did, I avoided people, I avoided crowds.

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I didn't have much friends. I stayed by myself, didn't go out. I just kept a very sheltered life because I was so conscious of people looking at me. I just didn't like how I look. And so I assumed that everybody else thought the same way that I thought about myself.

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And so I avoided people and just stayed to myself.

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But when I see people, I'll be smiling on the outside, but inside I would say, oh, I wish I looked like that person, or why do I have to look like this? And stuff like that. So it reached a point where I was very depressed, and then sometimes it's like some suicidal thoughts. I didn't do anything, but it were thoughts. That's the life that I lived.

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I live a very unhappy life. I'm so sorry. But thankfully, you had some sort of awakening. So what was that awakening like for you and how did it show up? It took a while to show up.

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Because as I say, I experience in the community, I experience it at home. Everywhere I go I experience it. And then I think, of course I met my wife. That was a very turning point for me. She's a beautiful lady.

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And then I started thinking, well, she likes me then I must that. And she was very encouraging. I think that was a very turning point for me. And then also having relationship with God, that helped me a lot as well. Those were the two turning points.

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And I reached a point where I said, wait a minute, this doesn't make any sense Drexel. This is not going to make you any better. Nobody is better than you. So it was like a week. It's like it happened suddenly one night after listening to those words from my wife and meditating on some scriptures from the Bible and I say no.

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And then I said wait. And then I started getting this confidence level built up so high and then I realized, wow, what a waste. But then I won't call it waste anymore because in a way I'm glad I went through what I went through so I can help others as well. I talk about this a lot that so often things happen to people, right, or whether it's your circumstances or your mindset or whatnot. And when you're able to work through it and you get to the other side, you recognize that it happened for you and not to you.

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And it's so hard though, for people to really grasp that because if you're sitting in a victim mentality, right, and just like, oh, this happened to me, this happened to me. And so many people live their lives like that and if they could just flip that switch because nobody's putting a gun to their head and making them think that way, right, they're causing their own level of pain. And if they could just recognize that whatever the situation is and I will challenge anybody, it doesn't matter what the situation is. If you get to a point when you can see that it happened for you and not to you, that is when the whole world opens up. I really like that.

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I really love that. I think I want to write an article on that. I really love that. There you go. Because it's true.

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It's so true. It's so true. And it's just making that shift and then all of a sudden it's like you turn my makeshift studio here, you flip the switch, right? Turn on the switch, turn it off. That's what happens.

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You're flipping that switch and you really come to realize that. So you brought up a really good point and I want to talk about that a little bit that you were comparing yourself to other people. And I think women do that more so than men. But I do know that men do it. It's just that they're a little bit quieter about it.

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Yeah. So for you, when you were comparing yourselves to other people, was it just because you weren't comfortable with your dark skin, or did you feel like, okay, if I looked like that person, then I'd be happier? How did that show up for you? It's several factors. One, because of my dark skin, two, because of my family background.

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Of course, we didn't have much growing up, even though we didn't go to bed hungry, but we didn't have much. So that was another factor on the financial status of my family. So those were the two main things. Yeah. And I know for me, same for me.

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We always had all of our needs met. We always had food on the table. I was one of five children and my stepfather, who raised me since the age of three, he had three daughters of his own, so he was providing for a lot of people and didn't make that much money. And we happened to live in an area that was most of the people were wealthier, but that wasn't us. My parents purchased this home on the water, which was great, but it was talk about a fixer upper, this thing.

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The people that had lived there before, everything had to be gutted. Like, the whole house had to be gutted, but we had to do it in stages. Right. And so, even though I lived in this neighborhood, I mean, we were in this house that really should have been tore down and then rebuilt. And I would go to school, and that was my life, comparing myself to all these girls who were from wealthy families, and they had all the latest fashion.

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Every year. I had two pairs of pants, one pair of shoes, and I had to wear my sister's old clothes that were hammered.

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I get what you're saying, but we don't know what we don't know. Right? That's true. You're absolutely right. Yeah.

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We don't know what we don't know. And again, I don't look back at that thinking, I should have done this or I should have done that, because again, that happened for me. Not to me. Yeah, I really like that. Yes.

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So I'm curious because you were born on an island which was complete living, being born and raised in the United States, and you think, oh, my know, wouldn't that be just absolutely glorious to wake up living on this island every day, and yet there's still different levels of, I guess, your socioeconomic status and whatnot. Right. Just because you're on an island. So why was it because you're a beautiful man? And for all that's listening, go check out the clips and his YouTube channel, because he's a very handsome man.

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Thank you. What happened? Do you think that made you not comfortable and fear inferior because of your dark skin? Did somebody say something? I'm just really curious because yes.

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Okay, so I think from time I was five years old, up until even in the adults, people would call me names. They would say, okay, that black, ugly boy, or this guy is so black. And so that's what really cost me the way I feel because of what I heard people say about me. And so I sort of accepted what they said about me, and it became like a reality for me. I'm so sorry about that, because I know that being in the United States, there was definitely a problem with discrimination.

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And we're making headways. It's definitely not far enough. We're definitely not where we need to be. And we're all human. There's no black, white, yellow.

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We're just all human. And it's terrible that they were probably other children right now. Not that this makes you feel any. Better, but I would well, not only children, adults, too. Oh, really?

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Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I was bullied terribly by other children. See this nose? My nose points up a little bit.

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I was bullied from the small age up until I was probably 16 years old. I was bullied because of my nose. Wow. Terrible. Terrible.

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I was, anything wrong with your nose?

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And then all of a sudden, Michael Jackson had multiple surgeries to look kind of like this nose. And I was like, okay. Wow.

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Silly little things. I tell you. I know people are terrible. People are just really terrible. All right, so tell me about your book.

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So what inspired you to write your book? And can you share with the audience a little bit about that? Sure. So the book is called Rise Up and Take Your position. So after I build this confidence level in myself and I recognize that I'm not the only one who probably went through this situation, there are many other people throughout the world who are going through it or have gone through it.

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And I thought, you know what? Since I like writing, I might as well document this in a book to encourage people to rise up. Let them know that they're not a mistake. Let them know that they were born with a purpose, discovered, cultivated, and just be a world changer. So that's what the book is basically about.

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And to encourage people not to be afraid and not to compare themselves to other people. Just be you, basically, just be who you are. I love that. And where can they find your book? It's on Amazon.

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Yeah, they can find it's for 1999 on Amazon? Yes. Fantastic. I'll make sure that is in the show notes as well. And so tell me a little bit about your YouTube or you host a radio show called Financially Speaking.

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Can you give any of our listeners some of the tips that you talk about on your radio show? Oh, sure. So, Financially speaking, as the name implies, Financially Speaking, I'm a certified public accountant since 1992. And so what I do on a weekly basis is to provide financial advice to the listeners budgeting. I also have government, the ministers of government on my show.

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We talk about the country's budget. We talk about personal budget, we talk about marriage and finance. We talk about a number of different areas, and sometimes we get outside of the budget. We also talk about political issues as well on the show because we believe that everything centers around finance. So somehow we get involved in that.

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Interesting. Now, is this a show that's just in Turks and Caicos or can anybody. It'S just in Turks and Caicos, but they have a website that people can link to the shows. They have a website, right. So it's basically bringing financial literacy and awareness to people.

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Fantastic. So are there any just a couple of quick tips that you can share with the audience that they can apply today to help them with their finances? Of course. Well, one of the main things I tell people to do is if they could avoid I know people want to build credit, but if they could avoid the multiple credit cards to avoid it, maybe just have one credit card, one that's with reward points. And another thing I always encourage people to do is to focus on their needs.

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Many times we end up doing things what we want and we end up buying all these things and we don't need it. And then the next thing, which is part of my story, is don't compare yourself to other people. Otherwise you're going to end up getting things just to be like the Joneses. And don't spend what you don't have. If you're going to use your credit card, transfer the money from your checking account to your credit card, which is a rewards credit card, and spend it like a checking account.

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That's basically what I encourage people to do. I love that. That is such great advice. Yeah. Thank you.

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Fantastic. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience before we finish up today? Well, I don't really talk about this much, but I will say don't let anything negative that you're going through define you. Don't let any obstacles define you. For example, right now, for the past six years, I've been diagnosed with kidney failure.

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So I'm on dialysis. Oh my goodness. So I go three days a week to the hospital for 4 hours, hook up to a machine, but I do not let that interfere with my goals. So I just want to encourage people, no matter what you're going through I know it may sound easier said than done, but no matter what you're going through, write your goals down, focus on those goals and go after it. Just act as if you're not even sick.

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I know I have kidney failure, but I even forget I have it until I go to dialysis. I just continue doing what I'm doing. And that's why I want to encourage people to do. Just stick to your goals. That is such great advice, and I second that, because thank you.

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Yeah. Life is too short, right? Yeah, absolutely. All right. And besides your book, is there a way that people can reach out to you?

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Yes. I have a website, WW dot traxwellcmore.com. And I also have a YouTube I have a YouTube channel where I share inspirational stories every week. And what is that called? Just my name.

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Draxwell. Seymour. Draxwell. Seymour. Awesome.

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Fantastic. Well, Drexwell, thank you so much for joining me today. It's been such a pleasure, and I wish you all the best, especially with some of your physical struggles that you're going through. You sound like you've got it covered, though. I think I do.

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Thank you so much. I really appreciate stuff. It was a pleasure talking with you. All right. Thank you so much.

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You're welcome.

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I certainly hope that you enjoyed today's interview. Thank you so much for joining me. And as always, I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy, and happiness. Take care, everyone.