212. Avoiding Entrepreneurial Burnout with Rich Steffen

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness. Coach Sandee Sgarlata.

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Hello, everyone, and thank. You for joining me today. I'm so happy you're here. Here. I'm Sandee Sgarlata.

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I was born in Virginia Beach and raised in the Baltimore Annapolis area and had very humble and tragic beginnings. And as a result, my life was a hot mess. Thankfully, 33 years ago, I got my act together, and since that time, I have dedicated my life to serving others and raising awareness that no matter what you've been through, you can choose happiness and live the life of your dreams. Happiness Solved is dedicated to giving you content that is empowering, motivational, inspirational, and, of course, a dose of happiness. It's my way to give back to the world and share other people's stories.

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This thing called life can be challenging, and my guests share their amazing stories, wisdom, and life lessons that demonstrate anyone can choose happiness. You see, happiness is a choice, and the choice is yours. Today's episode is amazing, and I am so grateful for you. Thank you for listening, and don't forget to leave a review and follow me on social media at Coach Sandee Sgarlata. Enjoy the show.

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Rich, it's such a pleasure and an honor to be talking with you because we're in our Facebook group together. We're both co authors of The Change Book, which is really exciting, and we'll talk about that. Hello. Thank you. Thank you for being here.

00:01:48
Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for the time, and this is a great opportunity, so thank you very much. Awesome. All right, so in addition to being a co author in The Change Book, you left business and you started your own coaching business, but you were in real estate. It looks like you were in real estate.

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I'm looking at your bio on my phone here. So what? You help entrepreneurs on the brink of burnout, get the overwhelm, reinvent the relationship with themselves, and reengage their personal genius so they can build a business that is predictable, profitable, and supports the lifestyle they desire. So apologize, audience. It's been a long day.

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We're doing this at the end of the work day. I'm wondering if you're working with people on avoiding burnout. Is that part of your story? And if so, can you share that with us? Have I been burned out before in my life?

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Absolutely. Although that's probably not what drives me right away.

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I've been in real estate for 22 years, and back in 2014, I started doing a lot of training in real estate, and in turn, it turned into mentoring, which is now known as coaching. And the part that I really enjoyed most as part of the training was helping these new agents differentiate themselves in their market. And until they really get an opportunity to sort of not be always focused on copying somebody else or buying a new CRM or a new program or paying for leads and things like that, all of which eventually end up burning them out, is a matter of finding out kind of really how they show up in their business. And what I tell them, I said, you need to be the best friend of every mirror that you see. And that is that when you have an issue, you look to the inside first because until you do, you don't have a filter to assess what's on the outside.

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And so it was going through that process and always having been kind of a human behavior junkie all my life, there were some opportunities in there to really give some people some AHA moments. And my joking phrase is that I love showing people where the light switch is in their room of life and when they get it, they go they just kind of like lost for words. And I'm going bingo. I just got paid. And so that's what really drives me.

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But don't you find that sometimes people aren't ready to flip that switch? I know you probably I'm a self help junkie as well and that's what I call myself. These are my words, not yours. But I have found just over because I've been on this journey for 33 years now and I find that I may be introduced to something 1015 years ago it comes back around and now I'm ready to receive it and I allow that knowledge into my consciousness and I get it right. So yeah, what's your experience with that?

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And do you have any little tricks to get people to see it a little bit sooner? I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. I got interested in, quote unquote, life coaching probably 1516 years ago and when I started getting involved in it, I just looked like it wasn't quite as tight bubble as I liked. It just was the idea of going to a Saturday workshop for 2 hours and all of a sudden you're a life coach. I'm going I would never sit across the table from that person.

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And so confidence is a big thing for me. I think that everybody has their time. And I jokingly will tell people I said there are people out there that know there's a two X four out there and there's people out there that can see the two X four. And then there's the other people where they can feel the wind pass behind their head. And then there's the people that get smacked.

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And I said which basically equates to the early adopter and the late adopters. And so many people motivation is by consequence as opposed to opportunity and is an opportunity to take a whole bunch of mess out of your way so that you can have a very clear picture, gain the clarity that you need to move forward, whether it's in life or whether it's in business. And everybody has to come to terms and when they see hear a certain phrase or a certain podcast, if you will, or a certain thing in a book, it'll resonate with them and they'll start looking forward. But many times it's a matter of we can't make that happen for them. They have to be aware and open to receiving it.

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And I think that we all as coaches, our goal and our desire is to be able to have influence in other people's lives and also in their business. But you can't have influence until you pave the way. Because until if the way is not paved to give permission to give that influence, all you have is an opinion. And that's the thing that sometimes turns people off. But I think that when people probably more now are at least willing to entertain, that because there's been enough traction that's been acquired over the years.

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But everybody thinks they know what they need when the reality is at least half of them, they kind of don't hit the mark and it takes from someone else to be able to help them walk through that. Yeah, well, before we started recording, you were asking me about podcasting and whatnot I wrote my book, which is also called Happiness Solved and consequently launched the podcast around the same time because I don't want people to have to hit rock bottom. I don't want people to go through such misery. And I talk about it in my book and I'll say it right here again, that life is so short and to wait until something tragic happens to flip that switch, right, you've just wasted so much of time that you will never time is the one scarce commodity that we have. We were talking about time too before there's not enough hours in the day.

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But you know what? The thing is we're not here long enough and we don't know how long we have. And that's my big thing. You don't wait until something tragic happens to flip that switch and to make those changes. Because at the end of the day, we have a choice and the choice is yours.

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Everybody listening. It's your choice. I think that people are always, no matter where they are in life, they're either moving away from something or moving towards something.

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The path of least resistance is focused on what you're trying to get away from versus what you're trying to achieve. Because what you're trying to get away from is super clear. What you're trying to achieve is kind of like well, this could happen, that could happen, this might be and this might what I want. And so people get stuck in that vein, but if they feel after having a conversation or something that may be read or acquired that you don't have to stay in that pace. And like you said, decision.

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Many people think they decide all the time. They think they are consciously making decisions in their life when the reality is they're making decisions about what has been presented to them. The circumstances that are there in front of you now you make a decision as opposed to saying, okay, it's a clear slate. What do I want? I get to make the choice.

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And it's that opportunity that people don't see as much when they think they're making choices. The reality is they're just responding to the things that come to them without their effort. And so the ability to make a choice, it's like, why not give myself the power to see how my life turns out versus the world? Give it the power to have my life turn out a certain way? And then at the end, you call it fate.

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And fate is not any place where anybody wants to be ultimately, if you really get down to it. And so letting them know you have not only the ability, but you also have the response ability to make a. Decision, I love that. And so make the decision. And if you need help, I'll be more than happy to help you through that.

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Yeah, exactly. So I put this right here. I was a guest on a friend of mine's podcast, and he one day opened up a box, and he sent this to me. In order to grow, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And so I keep it up here so when people are watching this, they can see it.

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I'm going to put it back wrong. But the thing is that and I have found myself in that same situation where I know that I need to do ABC. And it's like that pain pleasure thing that Tony Robbins always talks about, the pain. It's easier to feel the pain because you're uncomfortable. You're comfortable with where things are.

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And in order to grow, you've got to get uncomfortable, and nobody wants to feel that uncomfortableness. And I get it. I mean, I've been there so many times in my life, and I think that's really a driving force of people that they don't want to go there. One of the things I really focus on with people is procrastination is so prevalent in life or in business. And the main reason that procrastination exists, in my opinion, is for lack of clarity.

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If you were clear of exactly what you need to do and where you were going, you'd go. The thing is, when the going forward looks uncertain, people stay planted. And so there's the whole thing of Pain Island, the Pleasure island. Well, everybody wants to be on Pleasure Island. Well, there's a gap in between there, and we call that the gig.

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Now, it's a little different than the definition of when people say gig economy, but the gig, it's the garbage and the gap. People need help navigating the garbage and the gap. But if they have find someone that's willing to stand side by side with them shoulder to shoulder and be a partner in believing with them and go through that process it's very doable and actually can be kind of fun and it will be a little uncomfortable. But they have a much better opportunity to see the positive aspects of that when they're not there themselves and stuck. Because no one really wants to either live on Pain Island or admit the fact that they're living on Pain Island.

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Yeah, that's such a great point because I think that people, they suffer in silence so often and it's probably like maybe there's a lot of shame around it, right? I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of different emotions, right? And that's part of it for a lot of people that they don't want to admit that they're broken. And the thing is, I always tell my clients, you're not broken at all. There's nothing wrong with you.

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Right? So for anybody listening out there, there's nothing wrong with you at all if you're living with pain, the most empowering thing you can do for yourself is to hire a coach like Rich or myself and help. Right now I have four different coaches that I work with, all for different reasons, right? I have my accountability coach. I've got a coach that's teaching me about marketing and messaging.

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I've got a speaking coach, I've got another holistic coach, like a healing that I'm learning a new technique to work with my clients on.

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Coaching is great and coaches need coaches. I have three of my own as well. Right. One of the things that comes up with in business owners is that especially solopreneurs, that have all the decisions on their shoulders, right, is that the first thing that they do is they start comparing themselves to other people and they start looking and that right there will dig a hole faster than you can dig a hole. And people start comparing themselves and they don't see what got put into the business to get where someone is.

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They just see the end result. They look at that and the immediate message they have in their head is, I just don't have what it takes. That person has just got more of what it takes to do this or do this right and to succeed or be in this business or whatever. And once at the conversation with people, I said, you know what? You have everything you need to do what you need to do and what you were put here on Earth to do.

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And yes, maybe to do that is not what you were put here to do. But the thing is that even if it was, the reality is you have everything that it takes. You do not have less than what they do, them more than you. They are just showing more of what they have than you are right now or you. That's brilliant.

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I love that. So what do you do? This is a good segue. How do you advise some of your clients when they're in a business because you say you can talk about building a business that is predictable, profitable, and supports the lifestyle that they desire. So what are some of a couple of gold nuggets that you can share with the audience that could help them today for somebody that's either a solopreneur entrepreneur just starting out, thinking of starting a business, or whatnot?

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I think one of the first things, and this is kind of where I start is giving yourself the permission to really identify. And it doesn't have to be written in stone, but it's like, okay, if you don't like where you are now, what would you like? And when I say, what would you like? I'm not talking about what would you like for dinner? What would you like to where would you like to go on vacation?

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I'm talking about at the end of life at the age of 80. What would you like to be there and go, I'm glad I did all this and not be heart sick that you didn't do something. And it's the vision for your life in order for to make that be, because the vision ends up being the subconscious thing that gets planted in your head that basically you don't work towards a vision. You work from that vision.

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As a result of that, figure out what it is that you truly want in life. And if what you're in right now isn't it, okay, then let's find out what is. After you do that, then I start looking at what are the things that make who you are. I think one of the phrases that I use, and actually it's a program that I have is called Engage Your Genius. And it's like everybody's got theirs, but before you can engage it, you need to know what it is.

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So it's a matter of getting clarity about really how you're wired, what you do best, what are your skills, talents, the things that you're embryonically gifted with and that you can't give away, that if you do them, no one can do them as well as you. That's what we need to find out. And once you get a hold of that, it's like now an acronym I use is when you start off as cry foul. You find out what it is that you're really good at and how you're wired. Next thing you do is you own it and develop it to the point where you can clearly start to implement it in your life or in your business.

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The next thing is you dedicate it. You use that in your life or business in order to gain the results that you want. And the L is either leverage it in business or love the life you live that you've just now created as a result of the combination. And so we start with three phases of my coaching, and one is to assess where you are today and where you want to be. Next thing is to align your life or your business with you, not the other way around.

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And then once you've got that clear, then how do we go about scaling or accelerating all of those efforts into a situation that will give you the return on your life or business that you really originally had envisioned? That's great. I love that. And I love that you talk about I always call it your future self. Right?

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And if you get to the end of your life, are you going to look back and say, jeez, I wish I bought more handbags, or are you going to look back at your life and say, wow, I really impacted. I lived my purpose with passion.

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I love that. And then you work from that vision. That's great. Good stuff. One of the good friend of mine said, there's a guy that paid a big price for us to be where we are today, and he would like a decent return on his money.

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You were put here for a purpose, for sure, that out. And that purpose is not meant to be an obligation. That purpose is meant to be an invitation. Because once you are finally in your purpose, you'll realize, why in the world did I go so long without pursuing this? Because all of a sudden, life gets pretty sweet.

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And I think the other thing, too, is that we all know that there's no such thing as 100% good days in life. And so there are external motivators and there's internal motivators. And your purpose is the source of your internal motivation and it is the internal motivation feature that you have that once acquired and you start to use it and dedicate it, that is what gets you through the tough days and gets you to the end. Because you have to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. And that reason is your internal purpose and what it is that drives you based on what you want combined with how you're wired.

00:20:01
Yeah. Good stuff, Rich. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. And how can people where's the best place to if somebody wants to reach out to you, where's the best place to find you? Probably be LinkedIn.

00:20:14
Okay, Rich. Steffen LinkedIn. And on there, there's a calendar on there if you'd like to have a chat for 20 minutes, whatever, and just kind of talk things through. Again, coming from a position of when I was 30 years old, I said, I'm never going to be in a sales position because salespeople like, I don't care for them. And so I really try to avoid that.

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And what I tell people is that I'm here to be of service and to provide an opportunity, and that's an invitation for you. It is not an obligation. The bottom line is that I know really well who I can help and who I can't. And if for some reason, if I can't help you, I'll find a person that will. But if I can help you, then I will present you with the options in front of you.

00:21:03
But the choice belongs to you. Yeah, for sure. And I love that mentality because one person may only want to work with a male. One person may only want to work with a female. Right.

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And and so that's really great. I say the same thing is that people are going to come to you because you say something that resonates to them. That's right. And then there's some people that may not like my style or whatever and it's okay. And I love that you come from that mindset because for me, it's like whether you work with me or you work with Rich or you work with I can give you a list of 20 other coaches to go and talk to, right?

00:21:43
Yeah. Just make that choice and get the coaching because life is so short. When I tell them, when they're kind of in a pause, I said, you know what? I want to be someone's shot of espresso and not everyone's cup of tea. That's right.

00:22:00
Good way to put it. I love that. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience before we wrap up? Let's see here. I think that probably the biggest thing is do yourself a favor in the fact that even just between you and you just have the conversation or be willing to have the conversation of just realizing how gifted you truly are.

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And then be willing to entertain if that was to be used or played out in your life, how things could change. Change currently towards the positive. And the last thing I would say is that we all kind of joke around about the idea that we're experts at someone else's problem. And the reality is what that really translates into is that another person that is not emotionally or monetarily tied to what's going on with you now becomes a source of objectivity. And that's really what it is that we need is that objectivity.

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The bottom line is that I don't have the answers. I got the questions, but I don't have the answers because the answers belong to you. And you can either keep them or you can share them. But as soon as you share them, life gets sweet. Love it.

00:23:16
So good. Such great stuff, Rich. Thank you so much. Everybody go on LinkedIn and check out Rich. Steffen.

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And do you have your website there as well? Actually, information website is in the process of being created. Perfect. I'm kind of redoing it because I'm also kind of getting into the speaker thing as well, so it's not there. So LinkedIn is really my contact spot.

00:23:36
Perfect. That's awesome. Rich, thank you so much. And thank you for being who you are and sharing with many of us the mission to just help people and help the world be a better place. Yeah, my pleasure.

00:23:49
Thank you very much for the opportunity. I love seeing people light up, and it's awesome. Yeah, for sure. Thanks for listening, everyone.

00:24:09
I certainly hope that you enjoyed today's interview. Thank you so much for joining me. And as always, I hope that you. And your family are healthy and safe. And that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness.

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Take care, everyone.