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April 26, 2023

200. Finding Your Voice: Grow Through What We Go Through with Renee Reisch

200. Finding Your Voice: Grow Through What We Go Through with Renee Reisch

Happiness Solved with Sandee Sgarlata. In this episode, Sandee interviews Renee Reisch.  Renee has cultivated and inspired individuals and teams for over a decade. After over twenty-five years working in Corporate America, Renee decided it was...

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Happiness Solved with Sandee Sgarlata. In this episode, Sandee interviews Renee Reisch.  Renee has cultivated and inspired individuals and teams for over a decade. After over twenty-five years working in Corporate America, Renee decided it was time to hang up the corporate ladder. She started her professional training and speaking as an instructor at WHW (Women Helping Women), a non-profit organization, where she donated her time helping the unemployed and underemployed find and keep their jobs. Renee has received numerous awards over the years for bringing her teams to the number one position. Both her years and experience in the corporate world have taught her that in order to move the bar and increase profit, you must first invest in people. After suffering a devastating illness that took away her voice, then a few years later the loss of her best friend and then father, Renee decided to follow their example to Never Give Up. Now, that legacy is how Renee has chosen to live her life and help others, showing them that just when they feel life is closing in on them, there is always a way out. Today, Renee is a Four Times #1 Best-Selling Author, Founder of Finding Your Voice Network, and an Executive Leadership Coach. She helps women who are tired of feeling the need to overwork themselves just to feel valued, and instills them with the confidence they need to speak their authentic voice personally and professionally.

 Connect with Renee: https://reneereisch.com 

Connect with Sandee www.sandeesgarlata.com

Podcast: www.happinesssolved.com






00:00:10 This is happiness solved with America's happiness. Coach Sandee Sgarlata.


00:00:21 Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining me today on So Happy You're Here. I'm Sandee Sgarlata. I was born in Virginia Beach and raised in the Baltimore Annapolis area and had very humble and tragic beginnings. And as a result, my life was a hot mess. Thankfully, 33 years ago, I got my act together and since that time, I have dedicated my life to serving others and raising awareness that no matter what you've been through, you can choose happiness and live the life of your dreams.


00:00:51 Happiness Solved is dedicated to giving you content that is empowering, motivational, inspirational and, of course, a dose of happiness. It's my way to give back to the world and share other people's stories. This thing called life can be challenging and my guests share their amazing stories, wisdom and life lessons that demonstrate anyone can choose happiness. You see, happiness is a choice and the choice is yours. Today's episode is amazing and I am so grateful for you.


00:01:21 Thank you for listening and don't forget to leave a review and follow me on social media at coach Sandee Sgarlata. Enjoy the show.


00:01:35 Renee, it is such a pleasure to be speaking with you today. I'm so excited for this conversation. Thank you so much for being here. Sandy, it is really an honor and a pleasure and I am so grateful to you. So thank you for having me.


00:01:48 Thank you. And I just have to laugh because we just went over how to pronounce your last name and as soon as I started recording, I'm like, I'm going. To mess it up.


00:02:00 Because we put in our head, right? We think, oh, my God, now what? Yeah, right? Renee rice, right? Because I go like, rice, but rice.


00:02:08 And then in that moment, I was. Like, which one is it? Complete blank. You're good. I love your story and the fact that you're a four time number one bestselling author and founder of Finding Your Voice and just the whole concept of finding Your voice, there's so many levels to that and so many places we can go, but for you, it's part of your story.


00:02:33 So can you share with the audience your story? Because it's really quite remarkable. Absolutely. Sandy, thank you again. It is something that I never would have anticipated embarking upon.


00:02:45 We never really know our purpose when we come into this life. We go to school, work, college, whichever order. College, then work. A lot of people do that and I did that too. And while I was in my corporate job, I got pretty sick to the point of losing my own voice and hearing from doctors.


00:03:06 I may never speak again. It might be permanent cancer. I can't even tell you what that meant. It was something I didn't even realize was happening. When things I believe don't happen, necessary to you, they happen for you.


00:03:19 We hear that all the time, in the moment. It was happening to me. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. It was happening to me. I was miserable, I was in a depression.


00:03:27 I didn't know what to do. It was all about me. Me at that point, because I didn't know it was that not knowing. I was isolated, I was not allowed to be with my family, the public, I could go back to work. I sometimes joke around and I say that loa at that point was leave of absence because I was in corporate America.


00:03:48 Say loa has a completely different meaning. It's law of attraction. And I didn't realize what I was attracting into my life because I didn't speak up. I was afraid of fear of judgment, limiting beliefs, low self esteem, low self worth. I looked for the outside validation for my own worth, my own inner self worth.


00:04:10 And I equated to the story of Dorothy the mizravaz. I know I just dated myself, but for those who don't know what that is, google it, you'll findless, what are you talking about? That's a timeless movie. It is? I think so.


00:04:24 That's my story. That story anyway. So it was really, if you think about it, dorothy, the main character, was going to the land of OSH, was thrust in by this nightmare dream that she had. And it took her into this faraway place and she was looking to go back home. Along her journey, she came across the scarecrow looking for a brain, the Tin Man looking for the heart, the cowardly lighting, looking for courage.


00:04:54 And she had, of course, toto her companion dog with her. If you think about in life, we all have those things there inside of us. She didn't need to go to the land of Oz to have this mighty Oz to find what she needed. It wasn't a ruby slippers that she needed to click her yoke three times and say, I want to go home. Home really is where the heart is.


00:05:15 And when you're looking outside of yourself to find what's always been there, you can't find it outside, it's in here. I believe in my situation that I had, it was always looking for that shiny object, that award that yay you, because I didn't see it. Who was I looking to prove it to, right? It was me all along. It was my own worth, my own value, looking inside of me to find what was always there and already there.


00:05:50 Not looking to find outside validation for it. I love that. And I want to go back to what you said because it's something that we hear so often, but it's very hard to understand, and that is things happen for you, not to you. And I just want to remind the audience that when you're in a situation where something is happening to you, because that's how it's showing up, and it may feel awful and icky and devastating, it's just so important to feel those feelings, right? Because you have to go through that pain in order to get to the other side when you're like, oh, my gosh, this happened for me.


00:06:34 Not to me. I always love to throw that out there because I don't want anybody that's going through something really horrible to feel like no, because sometimes you are in that victim mentality and it's totally okay because you have to go through that of feeling like a victim and working through those emotions in order to get to the other side. So how long did that take for you? Because I know it was kind of a long process. Great question and great insight as well, because it is a process, and so often we want to go from A to Z and just get me through this, just get me where I need to be so I can get on with my life.


00:07:20 But how do you get on with your life if you're not learning the lessons that are being presented to you in your life? And I just want to go to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing. And I never stopped. I'm going to segue for a moment because it really kind of goes to what you're saying, what you're asking me. Perfect.


00:07:39 I have a best friend who's now watching over me from habit, and I know she is because I feel her. And she used to tell me in not really tell me kind of express in a very vocal way to slow down. She raised her voice to me and said, Slow down. And I didn't listen. I said, no, I have to do this, I have to do that.


00:08:04 I've got to get this, but I've got to get this. And I never listened to her. I didn't listen. I need to do all these things. I need to, I need to and go, go.


00:08:13 And in my book, which I know we're talking about, I even wrote that I look forward to days off, not to say it's a day off. I look forward to days off to see how much more I could get done. So when I went back to work the next day or two days later, whatever the schedule was going to be, because it was retail and it was always varied that I would be able to be present for my team and not have to do any extra thing because I did the extra stuff on my days off. I would really plan out my days off to do more work rather than to breathe through them and say, let me recuperate from the days that I just had. I never took time for me, the self care.


00:08:55 I never did it. It was always going, going, going, and through being so I could become oh, I love that. Being so you could become. Write that down, folks. That's awesome.


00:09:10 It was really that so you asked how long it took. Really, it took in a physical way, it took four months that I was isolated, that I was not allowed to be back at work because I was so contagious. My vocal cords were rid of the sores. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, I couldn't swallow my own saliva. It was that painful.


00:09:32 So I really felt like I was wasting away, hence falling into a depression because I wasn't able to be my best friend, my parents, family, I couldn't go out. So it was really being surrounded and stuck in the four walls and stuck within my own muck of I feel like that chrysalis stage of becoming a butterfly. You start out crawling, then you go into that UE gooey stage of the chrysalis where you're transforming until you're ready. Because the chrysalis stage, if you look it up, it's all different for different butterflies. But everything was the same.


00:10:05 It could last longer or shorter. And mine was a four month chrysalis age. I'm going to say I'm still evolving because I believe spiritual beings having human experience, we always are, and I am no different. So that being said, it did take physically the four months. And then I actually went back to work and I was out for two more weeks because I went back too soon and I ended up having another bit of an infection and it was still I had to be isolated again.


00:10:33 I'm like, oh, my gosh, yeah, I wanted to get back in. Let me just get let me just get better. And I even wrote in the book that I made promises. I made promises to my best friend. I made promises.


00:10:45 Now, what do you want to say? God source universe, whatever that is. I made promises to God I would be better, I would do better. I would take time out for myself. And I'm going to tell you, I did in the beginning until I didn't.


00:11:00 I felt old habits. I fell right back into those behaviors, patterns, because I'd been living those patterns all my life. So it was more of a stretch to do different and take care of me and take breaks because it was such an awful experience of having sores. You think about strep throat just like ten exit. You just don't want to be here anymore.


00:11:25 It was just too painful. But every day when I woke up and it wasn't even days, it was the middle of the night. I wake up in the middle of the night crying because I must have swallowed. And yet I never heard the tears of my pain because I had no voice. It was just the salt water from my tears coming down my face.


00:11:42 It was such an intense time that I didn't know what to do. There was no cure from Western medicine. How'd you get better? What happened? It wasn't losing my voice, Sandy.


00:11:56 That was the beginning of the journey of fighting my voice. I love that. Amazing. I love that so many people to this day are still like you, where they're just doing, doing. I used to be like that as well and didn't take time for self care.


00:12:18 And I do today, sometimes too much. And then the next day I'm like, oh, I could have gotten more done yesterday, but it's okay, right? Right. Don't beat yourself up. Right?


00:12:29 Exactly. Do you find or looking back on that, do you think that that was a way to escape?


00:12:38 That's another great question. Not knowing hindsight is 2020. I say with or without glasses that it probably was. But I didn't physically escape. I needed to.


00:12:52 I needed to have time to recoup, rest and just be, as I said, so I could become. But I didn't realize that. It's not like I had taken vacation days here and there or gone away for a couple of days here and there, but I never really took time. For me, it was always running through life. My best friend say, you're running through life, you're just going through it.


00:13:18 And I never stopped, as I said, to be to what to become. And when you do that, then you really have a different perspective on things because you actually have time for yourself to look at that and have it take an introspective look on things. So it makes a big difference. Great answer. Love that.


00:13:38 So finding your voice as I started out this conversation, you can put that analogy so many ways. There's so many levels to this at the core of what you do and what you work with your clients and whatnot what do you find most people when they're like, why are most people attracted to that message? Is there a common thing or does it show up differently for everybody? I believe it shows up differently for people because for me it weird. Obviously it's ugly head because I wasn't listening.


00:14:17 I didn't listen to all the signs that were there. I never stopped to listen until I had to. I couldn't do anything but be, just be still, be in my own muck. I had to sit in the front and it wasn't pretty and it wasn't fun. And I believe it is different for everybody.


00:14:43 But the thing that's the same is to experience it. You can't grow through and I say we grow through what we go through. And there's no way you can grow through anything like this to this level if you don't experience it. It's through the filter of our own lens that we place those different judgments upon ourselves. And I was judging myself through everything.


00:15:11 Everything. Nothing was good enough. I was never good enough and I could never be enough. The more I did, the more I needed to do to go go to the next thing and the next thing and be better and better and better and never give myself a pat on the back for all that I was doing and being in those moments, I was never mindful or present. It was always the next thing.


00:15:33 And when you're chasing the next thing, you're never giving yourself space and grace to be where you are and to be happy where you are and congratulate yourself for who you are. Beautifully said. Can you repeat what you just started out with, though, when you were talking about grow?


00:15:57 We grow through what we go through. We grow through what we go through. I just wanted to take a minute to emphasize that because it's so brilliant. Thank you. Allergies are starting to hit me a little earlier.


00:16:12 I know, I get it. But we grow through what goes. Yes. We grow through what we go through. I love that.


00:16:22 And I have to write it down.


00:16:26 I say this because of my own growth, and I'm able to do the coaching that I do and the speaking that I do today because of the experiences not that yes, I'm a psychology major. I'm Bachelor of Arts in Sciences in Psychology. I'm going to share some with you. There's not one class that I took in college or exam that I passed that would have given me the insight and the foresight to serve others, the leaders today that I can if it were not for the experiences that I went through and was able to grow through on my own. It's not the book text that I could say, do this, this and this.


00:17:16 It was because of the things I experienced that I'm able to share this insight with others. I love that because it's so true. No matter what you've gone through, that's how we grow. Absolutely. How we grow.


00:17:31 So let's talk about your books.


00:17:36 Four time number one bestselling author. That's a huge accomplishment. It's huge. If you can do it once, four times is even more incredible. Thank you.


00:17:45 So we don't have time to dive into all of your books, but which book would you say you're most proud of and one that like, if you're going to read any of my books, you got to read this one. This is the one that was launched February 3, which was just a few years ago, february 3, 2020. And as we're doing this interview today, and this is Finding Your Voice, unlock Your change and unleash your greatness, because it's all about finding your voice. It's really a practical, a tactical guide to finding your voice in business and in life, both personally and professionally. Because I feel this is more it's like a chicken for the soul book, if anybody's familiar with any of those books, because each chapter and they're so short, it's an 83 page book with eleven chapters, like a couple of pages for each chapter.


00:18:38 Right. And what I did is after each chapter, it's a story unto itself. So it's not like the sad saga of this girl that got sick, I did not want to write that because I wouldn't want to read it. If I wouldn't want to read it, I'm not writing it for anybody else to read. So what I did is I took the experiences I had and I put them into a guide, into this book, into finding your voice.


00:19:07 So there are parts where you will laugh and say, that's so funny. I can't believe she shared that with us. And then there's other points where you'll go, that's so sad. I can't believe this girl felt that way about herself. But with each one, you'll be able to find your own voice.


00:19:20 And at the end of each chapter, what's called a takeaway section, or it's a way for me to hold your hand through the journey of finding your voice. Because I leave three to four line pages, you don't necessarily have to fill it out all at once. In fact, you don't need to fill it all at once, because this way you can go through and grow through your own experiences. And see on 216 23, how do I answer that question a month later, three months later? How would I answer it today?


00:19:52 Oh, wow, I forgot this last time is when this was happening in my life. I forgot all about that. I just didn't realize how much growth I have. I didn't give myself the credit because we're always comparing ourselves to other people. And I also talk about and I wrote an article not that long ago about people's real life, the re versus the real in their life.


00:20:18 People don't post on social media the real. They're quick to do a highlight reel of their life. And then you are scrolling through it. We are scrolling through and go, my God, how do I compare to that? I'll never be that.


00:20:33 They're not good enough. The comparison, all of those things that you feel, the impostor syndrome, how can I put myself out there? How can I put myself out there? I'm not even close to what that person's done. And then you don't.


00:20:49 You don't. And then what? Well, this is your dream. How many people are in a cemetery right now with a dream that they never lived because they were afraid to put themselves out there? Yet their story is one that's never been told.


00:21:06 I know my story as it relates to me. It may be personal to me, but how many others out there listening to this podcast are feeling that, oh my God, that's me. I was in corporate America as a leader, yet never speaking up for myself, especially as a leader. What happens if I say what I'm really thinking? What happens if I've got to be the cheerleader?


00:21:34 I've got to be the raha girl? I can't speak up until I couldn't speak up because I had no more voice. So although my story is the physical loss, I believe it was a metaphoric loss of my voice in my life. The fear of judgment, the people pleasing, the not ever feeling good enough that manifested into my physical world, in my personal life, in my professional life. How many others are feeling that, too?


00:22:13 Right? And you were given probably many signs that you weren't even aware of. One was your friend telling you, you got to slow down. And when we're ignoring all of those signs around us, I really believe that God, the universe, whatever you call it, because they're giving you little warnings, okay? Whether it's you're not eating right or you're getting out of breath a lot, and then all of a sudden, you have a heart attack.


00:22:45 Right. You had some warning signs there. And when you don't take the action that you really need to take, it's going to happen to you. And it did all joke up there in a very painful way. Like I said, my vocal cords when I was in the urgent care before I ended up in Er the one day because I said I felt like there was a sore throat, like a sore in my throat.


00:23:12 And she said there was. Then the next day, it exploded into all these sores. And my best friend took me back there. The first day I went by myself. The second day, she drove me there because I was just in so much pain.


00:23:24 And she said, get her to the Er. She never told me how many stores there were. It literally exploded, gave birth into my throat, and we ended up in the Er. You just don't know what happens to your own body. People get migraines, they get ulcers.


00:23:45 Why is that happening? What is it about? Pay attention to your body. It records things that have taken place in our life. And take action.


00:23:57 Take action, what you're feeling. Reach out. I mean, I do this coaching. I do speaking for a reason, because it's not about me, right? But it's how I conserve those meaning.


00:24:12 To hear this story because it resonates so much with so many. You may be at a different point in your life, or maybe you have experienced something, whether it's at work or in relationship or the relationship with yourself. Where in your life are you not being truthful?


00:24:30 You may not even realize it. What in your life is going on right now in your relationship with yourself, in your relationship at work, with others, with your peers?


00:24:43 What is it that you're not sharing? Yeah. Wow. This has been such an amazing conversation. Is there anything else that you didn't talk about that you'd like to bring up with the audience?


00:24:56 And please let everybody know how they can find you. Thank you so much. So I have the finding your voice network.


00:25:06 It's a free Facebook group. It's a private group. Please welcome. Come on in. Let me know that you heard about it through this talk.


00:25:15 I would love to share our voices together. If you're interested in doing coaching, whether it's one on one, whether it's to your team at work, whether it's to speak to your company, let me know, because it is. Sharing our voices, sharing our stories, elevating uplifting others leadership. How do you be a leader? How do you express your voice, how you elevate your team to the next level?


00:25:44 Reach out to me. I come from a corporate background. I know what that is like. Yeah, we became number one in the District of Reason, a company in the country, because I was able to connect with them on a level that not many did. Yeah.


00:25:59 So reach out, let me know. So whether it's coaching, speaking, whatever that looks like, reach out to me, let me know. I'm happy to connect with you. The book. Get the book.


00:26:11 There's the ebook, there's the Kindle version, there's an audio version of it as well, but there's also the physical. And I really ask if you could pick up the physical because it's nine point nineteen cents on Amazon right now. Because you get to write, I believe what comes up comes out. You get to your own jury. If it's an audio, that's great.


00:26:35 You might want to listen it while you're on the treadmill or going doing this thing. Because people receive information different ways. It could be audio version, it could be the Kindle, whether on the Kindle, that's fine the ebook. But there's nothing more special than taking pen to paper and writing the answers out where you can actually see your own progress. Maybe get a different one.


00:26:59 Maybe you get the ebook at the Kindle at the end video. However you receive information, but pick up a copy today. You will be so happy you did. And reach out to me. It's Renee@renews.com.


00:27:12 It's my email. Let me know it's from this interview. It's Sandy. And just reach out, however it is through the group. I'm on LinkedIn.


00:27:21 I'm on Instagram. Instagram is at Reichrene. Reischrene on LinkedIn. It's Renee Reisch on Facebook. It's Renee Reisch.


00:27:34 So please look me up. Reach out. Let's share our voices together. We're here to make a difference in this world and let's share our voices and find your voice in this. I love it.


00:27:47 And for all the listeners out there, all the information how to reach Renee will also be in the show notes. So if you're driving, wait till you can pull over and then you can take a look at that and reach out to Renee that way as well. You're so welcome. There's one more thing. I do also have a course that I created.


00:28:06 It's a voice blueprint. We are all born with a blueprint in this life. And this voice blueprint takes you from vulnerability to empowerment in the journey of finding your voice. So I'm happy to share that as well. And let's talk.


00:28:22 Love it. Oh my gosh. Finding your voice blueprint. That sounds incredible. Oh, my goodness.


00:28:28 This has been such a great conversation. So happy that you have come into my life and we're going to do so many amazing things together and yeah. Thank you, everybody, for listening today as well. Sandy, thank you so much. And thank you to your listeners.


00:28:43 I am honored and just privileged to be here and I look forward to doing more with you. Have a beautiful, blessed day. Love it.


00:29:03 I certainly hope that you enjoyed today's interview. Thank you so much for joining me. And as always, I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.