192. The "Life Is Too Short Guy" with Scott White

Scott White

00:00:10

This is happiness solved with America's happiness. Coach Sandee Sgarlata.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:00:21

Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining me today. I'm so happy you're here. I'm Sandee Sgarlata. I was born in Virginia Beach and raised in the Baltimore Annapolis area and had very humble and tragic beginnings. And as a result, my life was a hot mess. Thankfully, 33 years ago, I got my act together and since that time, I have dedicated my life to serving others and raising awareness that no matter what you've been through, you can choose happiness and live the life of your dreams. Happiness Solved is dedicated to giving you content that is empowering, motivational, inspirational, and, of course, a dose of happiness. It's my way to give back to the world and share other people's stories. This thing called life can be challenging and my guests share their amazing stories, wisdom, and life lessons that demonstrate anyone can choose happiness. You see, happiness is a choice and the choice is yours. Today's episode is amazing and I am so grateful for you. Thank you for listening and don't forget to leave a review and follow me on social media at Coach Sandee Sgarlata. Enjoy the show. Hello, Scott White. How are you today? It's such a pleasure to see you and I love your background.

Scott White

00:01:40

Fantastic. Thank you so much.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:01:43

Yeah. For those of you who are just listening, you've got some nice sports pictures and stuff behind you, and I love that. So were you an athlete as well?

Scott White

00:01:54

More I'm interested in athletics than an athlete on my own, but very big fan of college sports. So what you see behind me is various college sports things. I think you see a couple of marathon posters. I've run 15 marathons. Oh, wow.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:02:07

Have you ever done the Marine Corps in DC?

Scott White

00:02:09

Yes. Great.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:02:11

I did that in 2006.

Scott White

00:02:13

Oh, fantastic. Good for you. Congratulations.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:02:16

Yeah, and I signed up to do the Chicago one the following year. And due to various things, I wasn't fully trained, but I was in Chicago that weekend anyway, and it was the Chicago Marathon in 2007 and it was 85 degrees by ten in the morning and they canceled the marathon. And I was like, I am so glad I didn't finish my training.

Scott White

00:02:37

I remember that. I do remember that Chicago's had some tough ones. I remember one year where one or more people died doing the Chicago Marathon because it was so hot.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:02:44

It was 2007 because they ran out of water and all that.

Scott White

00:02:50

Good thing.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:02:52

I know. Well, I chose Chicago because of the temperature and that it's very flat.

Scott White

00:02:57

It's a flat course. I've done Chicago. It's a great course.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:00

Yeah, exactly. I think it probably would have been easier than the Marine Corps because the 0.3 or the 26 foot finish the finish is so hard.

Scott White

00:03:12

Yeah, it is pretty miserable. It's like the Marines laughing at you as you got to they do.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:15

They just stand there all these Marines lined up, and you're practically crawling up the hill.

Scott White

00:03:20

Part of the challenge. But it's a nice race. It's a beautiful course.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:23

It is.

Scott White

00:03:24

It really is.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:24

Well, I'm from that area. I'm from the DC metro area.

Scott White

00:03:27

Okay.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:28

Yeah. So you are the life is too short guy. I love this because I say that all the time. Life is too short. Life is too short, right? So we're going to talk about that. But I love that you actually have a book out that's or it's coming out this month.

Scott White

00:03:47

Correct. It's out.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:48

It is just it's out now beginning.

Scott White

00:03:50

Of January, so we're a couple weeks in, and yes.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:53

Nice. So that is the life is too Short Guy strategies to make every day the best day ever.

Scott White

00:03:58

Correct.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:03:59

Congratulations.

Scott White

00:04:00

Thank you so much.

Sandee Sgarlata

0:04:01

Awesome.

Scott White

00:04:02

Thank you. Very excited.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:04:03

Before we dive into that, everybody has a story. What is your story? How did you get to the point where you are the life is too short guy?

Scott White

00:04:10

The life is too short guy is an evolution of life. There wasn't a specific point in time, though. There was a point in time, I will tell you, during COVID where someone actually gave me that title. So it's not a name that I've had for myself for a long time, but it sort of summarizes who I am and what I'm about. I'd say that over the course of my life, I've been a very happy, positive, high energy, have fun, live in the moment kind of person. I don't think I was necessarily born that way. It evolved, and there were certainly big events in my life that I think impacted me, and I talk about those in the book. But during COVID I started working with a new executive coach, and in our second session, I had done some assessments. In the first session, the second session, remember exactly how he said it. He's like, dude, you are like Mr. Life is too short, guy. Everything's got to get done now, right away, happiness positivity. And I mentioned that to my wife that night. I'm like, oh, I met Kevin today, and he called me Mr. Life is Too Short guy. And she's like, I could see that. That makes sense. And she planned the seat for me. She's like, Maybe that's the book you always wanted to write, is something about your life philosophy. And I sort of thought about it a little bit, and I was like, I don't know what that would be. And then I just started jotting down notes and outlining, and before you know it, it formulated a book, and now I'm out telling the story of Life is Too Short Guy. The principle is the idea, and it has become a mission of mine. As I tell people, I'm on a mission to make the world happier, one smile at a time, and I am having the time of my life.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:05:37

I love it. We share that mission.

Scott White

00:05:41

Obviously that's why we're together. Hopefully all of your listeners are enjoying it right now and I hope they enjoy this podcast.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:05:48

Yes, of course. So what are some of the principles that you talk about in your book?

Scott White

00:05:54

There's ten principles in the book and the book was written very much with the approach, the strategy of making it very practical, very approachable, very reader friendly. So this is not an academic book, this is not a theoretical book. I want every person so let's start there, every person to be able to pick this up, read the book. It's a quick read and take away actionable steps, not sort of read the book and be like, all right, fine. So he said, Be happy. What am I going to do with that? So each of the principles gives specific examples of here are things that you could do to implement it. I give some stories of my own life. And then what I actually think is even cooler is I weave through about a dozen stories of other people that have had major epiphanies in their life, people that have had setbacks from catastrophic injury, recovery from significant illnesses, death of a child, death of a spouse, recovering alcoholic, and tell their stories. And then what the key takeaways and epiphanies are. So that's how it's written. Now, let me get to some of the specific principles. First one is the foundational one and it shouldn't be surprising, but I dig into it a lot more and it's attitude is everything. The power of positivity. And here I talk about how we have the ability to make decisions on how we view the world. I give a couple of practical tips here, but to give your listeners an idea, what does he mean by giving practical tips? I often ask people, and I'll even ask you, I'll say, what was your first thought today? Do you remember what your very first thought was when you woke up?

Sandee Sgarlata

00:07:32

Do I remember my first thought? I don't remember my very first thought. But I generally when I wake up, I usually go into a mantra that I live by and I start saying that because it sets the tone for the day.

Scott White

00:07:47

Perfect. That's part of the message. And amazingly, a lot of people will answer the same way you did. Either I'll hear, I don't know what my first thought was, or it was something like I want to hit the snooze button, I want to go back to sleep, it's cold, it's dark, whatever the case may be. And I encourage people to think about you're setting the roadmap for the day. And I know, we all know, that your life will take twists and turns throughout the day. You can't navigate everything and regardless of how happy you are, you're going to have setbacks. But why not start by very thoughtfully and proactively waking up, opening your eyes, smiling and having some positive thoughts, whatever they are. I don't tell you what those thoughts are, but instead of, I don't feel like getting out of bed, or, oh, it's early or I'm tired, or I got blah, blah, blah, blah, wow, it's an amazing day. It's Monday, it's a new week, a new beginning, a new opportunity. I'm in a warm bed, I have a roof over my head. I'm going down to breakfast. I'm sleeping next to someone I love. I have a full day of wonderful opportunities, a great job. Bam. I'm 10 seconds into the day, and I've already put on bright, clear glasses, so to speak, to see the world. Instead of starting with sort of a sense of negativity or a sense of I don't want to say nothingness, but, man, I woke up and I went about my business. Be thoughtful, be proactive. So number one is attitude is everything. The power of Positivity.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:09:07

I love that, because what you're really saying is and this is what I work with my clients on as well, is make your gratitude list every day as soon as you wake up. So what you're doing is you're expressing that gratitude, and by expressing gratitude, it raises our frequency.

Scott White

00:09:21

It's wonderful. And I talk a lot in the book about making gratitude a part of your life. So I don't denigrate, but I don't really love the idea of a gratitude journal. I don't love to write three things down at the end of the day because to me, that's somewhat forced. What I want people to start thinking about is just living a life. Yes, you got to start somewhere, right? So if you want to start somewhere, start the gratitude journal. But that shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be just looking around, constantly, being like, wow, this is great that I have this opportunity to communicate with you. It is great that your listeners are hearing this. It is great that I had an opportunity to write the book. It is great that you're asking me amazing questions and really making me think, look at like, 10 seconds, I'm grateful for eight more things. That's what I try to talk about. In attitude is everything. The power of Positivity.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:10:06

I love it. I love it because it's shifting your perceptions. It is because you have a choice as to how you're going to see the world every minute of every day.

Scott White

00:10:16

You do. Which leads right into principle number two. Principle number two is choose your attitude and own it. Choose your attitude. And I guess a wonderful story that I'm not going to go through right now, but someone that a gentleman that lost his wife and his name is Nick, and Nick tells a story of his wife, had this quote, sort of choose your attitude. And he uses that. He has a tattoo on his wrist, and he talks about it all the time. And there I talk a lot about similar to sort of the power of positivity. But what I think a lot of people don't know I suspect you do, but maybe not all your listeners is how much of our attitude really, we control and how much that impacts our happiness. So in the book, I deliberately and I'll emphasize this I didn't spend a lot of time or effort with a lot of research and a lot of statistics and a lot of theories, because that's not my reader. I want my reader to be everyone. One of the studies I do refer to and it's actually been replicated many times, I'm sure you're aware of it, is sort of what percent of our happiness we control? And it's been sort of empirically proven that of our pie of happiness call it 100% 50% generally is prescribed by our genetics to a certain degree. Our hair color, our eye color, our attitude and perspective is genetically predisposed. However, as you look at the other 50% and this is what I think a lot of people find really surprising only 10% of your happiness is predicated on your circumstances. Your car, your house, your job, your money, your divorce, your marriage, your illness, whatever the good, bad or indifferent is, that's 10% 40% is how you view the world that gets to the choose your attitude and own it.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:12:09

Yeah. See, I would have thought it would be less than 10%.

Scott White

00:12:14

It's interesting because some people say that, but most people think it's a lot more. In fact, I kind of got right to the punchline because I know that you're a professional and I suspect a lot of your audience already knows this, but usually I start the other way. I say to people, all right, new car, big job promotion, a wedding, a death. What percent of your happiness? And it's amazing. People be 60, 70, 80%. And I'm like, Keep going, keep going down. And it takes a while to chip people away. 50 40, 30. People don't realize it's. It's not the circumstances. It's not and it's certainly not looking around and seeing what everyone else has. Right. That doesn't help either. 40% is how you view the world.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:12:55

Yeah. I love that. I always tell people, there's nobody forcing you to think that way. Right. Nobody's holding a gun to your head saying, you have to believe this.

Scott White

00:13:08

That's right.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:13:10

Use your attitude.

Scott White

00:13:11

Known it.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:13:11

Yeah. And I think that my whole thing is your happiness is a destination. I mean, is a journey not a destination. Right. And when you're on that journey, you have choices to make every step of the way.

Scott White

00:13:26

Agreed? Yeah, agreed. Agreed. So moving along, my third principle has a lot of sub principles, so I'll move over fairly quickly. But it ties to my overall goal for the book, which is to make it really approachable and practical. So the third principle is little things make a big difference. So you don't have to change your whole attitude, your whole perspective your whole life, to live a happier life, you can make some small incremental changes. And some of them, when I say them to people, it takes them a half a second. They're like, really? That's it? And then when they think about it so what's the easiest one? Smile. Right. Smile. How often do we proactively think about smiling? And I love when I said it, you smiled and I smile. We both feel better. But how often do you sort of pass someone in the street and why aren't they smiling? When was the last time you got in your car and you just smiled? How about you got home, you're making dinner, you smiled, you got to the office, you smiled, you got out of bed, you smiled, you brushed your teeth. Why not spend more time and energy proactively thinking about smiling and everything that comes with smiling? Very simple sort of opportunity to live a happier life and create greater happiness around you. So that's one of the principles. Under little things make a big difference.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:14:39

You like that? I like that a lot, yeah. You can continue. Go ahead.

Scott White

00:14:45

The others under little things that make a big difference are celebrate. I don't think we celebrate enough. We don't have to just celebrate the huge wins in life. We could celebrate the small wins and make a big deal about small celebrations. Another one is random acts of kindness. I don't think we spend enough time trying to perform or be the recipient of random acts of kindness. And in the book, I give a great story of a random act of kindness that my wife and I did, and then I have an even more fun story. And it ties to a marathon that I did of a random act of kindness of someone that I'd never met before. I have no idea who he is, and I will never meet again. That helped me get across the finish line in my first marathon. So random acts of kindness again are small things. They don't have to be massive. That'll make you and the world around you happier.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:15:34

Oh, for sure. And back to celebrating the wins. What that does is it reinforces your positive behavior. So if you're trying to form a new habit and wake up every day and start thinking positive thoughts, you pat yourself on the back, give yourself a high five in the mirror, look in the mirror and be like, good job, you did exactly right, because then it's going to reinforce it. So then you're going to be more apt to do it again and again and again.

Scott White

00:16:03

Agreed. There's a little bit more. Under little things make a big difference. But moving along, the fourth principle is minutes matter. And this is an underlying theme throughout the entire book. I think this crosses over many of the other principles. In fact, the book cover itself has an hourglass on it and the point of this is. And I do a little bit of math. I have some fun here with this. And I say when you're born, your life expectancy, plus or minus, just to make the math easy, is about 80 years. So 80 years gets you approximately 42 million minutes. Got out my calculator did that math. I'm guessing most of your listeners are not newborns. I'm going to just draw a line and guess they're midlife, plus or minus. So let's make it easy and say 40 years old. Everyone can adjust the math on their own, but at 40 years old, you're halfway through. Your life expectancy is probably 21 million minutes remaining. You're going to sleep about a third of those. Now you're down to 14 million minutes. Invariably, they're going to be major setbacks, the end of life, so to speak, and a time where you're just not going to have the same level of ability to go out and live every minute to the max. So all of a sudden, a 40 year old has about 12 million minutes left, plus or minus. What are you doing with those minutes? And I ask people to think about a mental image that I talk about in the book of think about a barrel. And everyone has their own barrel. For me, it's a wine barrel. For you, it's whatever barrel it is. And in that barrel are your remaining minutes. You don't know how many are in there. You can't count them all. For me, I have little gold coins. You could have whatever you want. And every time you do something, including listening to this podcast, you reach in the barrel, you grab out a couple of minutes and you use them. And I want people to think about and reflect, how am I using my minutes? I do not do not prescribe how to use the minutes. I don't make judgments about how to use the minutes. Everyone has to choose how to use their own minutes on their own. What I encourage people to do is think about where are the minutes going? I think too often we get to the end of a day, a week, a month, a year, and you're like, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm racing around. I'm chasing my tail. I'm exhausted. I'm not happy. I don't know what I'm doing with my minutes. Well, stop, because that's one of the key principles here, is think about how you're using your minutes. Be thoughtful, be wise, be proactive, be deliberate, and use those minutes in a way that makes you happy. And if you're not, you control that. Change how you use your minute. Minutes matter.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:18:23

Oh, my gosh. I love that. I'm a very visual person. So I was visualizing your wine barrel with gold coins in it.

Scott White

00:18:30

Reach right in.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:18:32

Yeah. And you reach in, because, really, that's what life is about.

Scott White

00:18:37

You don't know how many minutes are in there. You don't want them leaking out. Like another image I give people is you look in now and it's, I don't know, halfway full or three quarters full, whatever the case may be. All of a sudden you look a few years from now and a lot of minutes have disappeared. They've been depleted. They've been leaking out slowly without you knowing where they're going. That's the kind of thing that you can control and live a happier, more fulfilled life again. Part of the goal of the book is to make every day the best day ever. We'll start by thinking about how you're using your minutes. Reflect on those minutes. Be thoughtful and proactive and use them wisely.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:19:10

This is such amazing wisdom. You are imparting on the guests, and I wish we had time to go through all of it, but I want people to go out and buy your book, so we're going to leave them in suspense. If there is one more principle out of the ten that you haven't talked about, what would that be? Just to leave the audience with a really big golden nugget.

Scott White

00:19:30

So the last one, the very last one is live today, don't wait for tomorrow. And I talk about taking chances and taking risks and live in the moment. And I have the reader walk through an exercise of sort of imagining that you're walking through a field and all of a sudden it's a beautiful day. A beautiful day. And you could feel the grass on your feet and you could smell the fresh cut grass, and you could hear the bird singing. And all of a sudden you open your eyes and you're staring down at a piece of granite, and that granite is sticking out of the ground. And the top line of that granite is your name. You're looking at your own tombstone. What is the next line down? What are those three or four words that you want to be remembered for for eternity and think about? Is that how you're living your life right now? If not, the principle is live today, don't wait for tomorrow.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:20:20

I love that. And I had a mentor of mine a couple of years ago say that when she gets to the end of her life, is she going to look back and know that she became everything that she was meant to become. And I think about that quite often because life is too short. And so every day you have to take action and do the things that make you happy, do the things that are fulfilling and that you're passionate about and you're living your true purpose. Because I know for me, my future self is waiting for me to be there, right. I'm not waiting to exercise till I'm mom, I love you. She doesn't listen to my podcast anyway, but I'm not going to get to be the age that my mom is and have mobility issues. I've got to start working on that now. Because my future self is counting on me.

Scott White

00:21:16

Yes. Absolutely agree.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:21:20

Oh, my gosh. What an amazing book that you've given to the world, and it's just really incredible. Is there anything else that you would like to share before we wrap this up?

Scott White

00:21:32

Look, I'm on a mission to make the world happier. One smile at a time. I'm having so much fun. I love doing this. In fact, when you said the beginning, you don't want to give away too much of the book. I'm happy to give it away. I'm happy to make people smile. I'm happy to make people think. One of the things that has made me so happy is the book launched a couple of weeks ago. And I've already received emails, texts, calls from people about how one person got on a plane and went and visited their mom that they hadn't seen in a while. Another person reached out to a friend they hadn't talked to in a decade or more. Another person decided they're going to sit down and write a play. They've always wanted to be a playwright. I'm just giving you three examples. I can give you 100 more of it. I know we're running out of time. I want people to hear this, to read the book. Come see me speak. I'm going to be speaking at various places around the country. And if you think this makes sense for your organization, I do do speaking engagements. I want people to hear this message and live a happier life. I'm truly mission driven on this one. I didn't set out to write this as a business proposition. In fact, I have a day job. I run a public company. I'm the chairman CEO of a real estate company. I set out to do this to truly make people happier, to make the world happier, to see more people smile, to get away from negativity and pessimism and to make the world happier. One smile at a time.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:22:47

Oh, my gosh. Scott White. What a pleasure and a privilege it is to talk to you today. And yet, where can people find more about you and your book?

Scott White

00:22:56

So the book is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, wherever you buy books, including in your local retail store. And if they don't have it, they can order it. You can find out more about me, the book, my speaking engagements, or just to be in touch with me on my website. Life is too shortguy.com.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:23:12

Love it. Love it. Thank you so much for joining me today, Scott. This has been such a great conversation and I wish you all the best success and, of course, continued happiness.

Scott White

00:23:24

Thank you so much.

Sandee Sgarlata

00:23:36

I certainly hope that you enjoyed today's interview. Thank you so much for joining me. And as always, I hope that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.