302. Battling Cancer with Positivity: A Baseball Coach's Journey to Choosing Life with Mike Coy

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This is happiness solved with America's happiness coach, Sandee Sgarlata.

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Hello and thank you for joining us today. I'm so happy you're here. Happiness solved is the place where we explore everything you need to become the best possible version of you. This is Sandee Sgarlata. And today I've got some exciting news for our dedicated listeners.

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We've just launched our exclusive members only portal. This is your ticket to a world of additional content designed to deepen your understanding and engagement with the happiness solved mission. To learn more about all of the exciting benefits, stay tuned until the end of the episode where I will explain in greater detail. For those interested now, head over to happinesssolved dot supercast.com. Today is another amazing conversation, so let's get started.

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Mike Coy, what a great pleasure to have you on my show today. How's everything going for you? Oh, it's great, Sandee. It's an honor to be with you, ma'am. Oh, I love your guitar and your background.

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And are those paintings that you did? No, that's just some things that were some of my concerts. I do. I do. A Mike sings Elvis concert.

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I'm not an impersonator. I just do the songs. And just a sweet lady brought this portrait of Elvis that walking in the woods, and it's just a beautiful, beautiful portrait. It really is. It really is.

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And sorry for the listeners that want to see it, you'll have to hop over to my YouTube channel and watch this. Yeah, that's right. All right. So for the listeners, this gentleman has done so much in his life, and I don't even know where to start. So we're just going to talk about some of it.

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But today, you split your time between Colorado and Austin at Colorado Springs in Austin, and you have a very diverse audience of people. How to simply win in life. You're a registered financial consultant, a certified professional behavior analyst, and you bring the knowledge and experience and expertise of over 50 years in business to help you make the right decisions. So, wow, you've got books. You're a formal baseball player.

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We're going to talk about all of that and more. But first, Mike, how did you get to where you are today? What drives you? And talk a little bit about your story and how that has shaped who you are today and why you do what you do. Well, my mom and dad were educators.

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My parents actually started the first private school in Beaumont, Texas, in 1952, and both were educators. My mother did not like the direction of public schools back then and decided that we're going to start coy's day school. And it was a huge success for something like 40 something years before my mother died. And it was just that emphasis on education. My dad was a football baseball coach.

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It was just, you know, the discipline and to play the sports and that this was expected and respect factor and just, I had such a great base. I had such a great upbringing from the education side, but also from the, the sports side, which I have on a lot of my talks that I give and everything. I relate a lot of my life experiences that go back to sports as far as participation, as far as discipline, as far as dedication. And then all these years that I've coached baseball, I've coached summer baseball. I coached the USA 16 year old team in Australia for five straight years and won five international championships there.

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I've just been very blessed to not only have played, but also to coach some of the greatest athletes that you can imagine. And trust me, whenever you surround yourself with that kind of caliber of athlete, they make you a great coach. Oh, wow. However, the coaching is important just the same, so. But, yeah, I love that you relate things to sports because, you know, I've in the process of creating a nonprofit called peak performance Mindset Academy, and the slogan is today's athletes, tomorrow's leaders.

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And I really want to serve underprivileged communities because they're the, they're the youth, today's youth that really need the mindset because they've got so many more challenges than most of children do today. And the thing is, is that if we can shape our athletes, because an athlete, as, you know, there's so much that goes into it and they really are, you know, or rather, they, they're the ones that know what it takes to overcome challenges, to lose, to fail and pick yourself up and keep going. And that's, they make the best leaders, in my opinion. No. So, and you lived it yourself with your coaching background and everything.

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But I think that that's just, it puts it in a nutshell of that you're going to face adversary. You know, I mean, in my case, that, and I talk about, in my book, I chose live about my battle with cancer and how I'm winning the war, is that life's going to throw you curveballs. And, you know, and I think about that great american philosopher Rocky Balboa, when he said that it's not how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up. That's right. And I think that's something that adversity is something that you can embrace, you can learn.

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You know, I used to tell my athletes we did not lose today. We learned something today. That's right. And I'm very proud of the fact. I just got back from Mobile, Alabama.

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I went and spoke to the Lamar University baseball team. I do it every year before their first game. And that's exactly what I told them, is that you're going to win some, you're going to lose some, but make sure that whatever through this process that you learn, and it's not, you know, Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow is kind of an idol of mine. He's such a great christian young man.

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He's a great athlete. And he says that it's not about any day, it's about today, because yesterday's gone. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. So we have got to take advantage of what's in front of us today to see if we can make a difference going forward with that question. And I emphasize that everything that you said, because we only have this very moment and we just never know.

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And it's like if we don't take advantage of today and really make the most of it and try to have an impact in some way, whether it be with yourself or with other people, your family, you know, what else is there, right? It's that purpose, right? It's like living your life on purpose, with purpose that I love. So back to baseball. There's so many, so many sayings, and you already said one of them that relate to baseball.

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You know, we're always being curveballs, you know, and I love the one, you know, how many times does a baseball player strike out right before they get a home run? And it's something that I think needs to be talked about more and more because so many people, especially in today's world of instant gratification, and why haven't they responded to the text? And I didn't get this done or I didn't do that. There's so much pressure put on so many people, and I think most of it, they're putting it on themselves when we have to realize, like you said, you didn't lose the game, you learned. And all of these little failures we have in life make us, ultimately, at the end of the day, they make us better people.

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Can you talk about some of that? A lot of times when you think about the great Babe Ruth and the 714 home runs, but he even said, but no one ever talks about the 1345 strikeouts that I had, you know, before Mike Coy said that he said that of all the times that he was walked, all the times that he struck out, if you look at his 18 year old career, if you want to add everything up, there were seven years that he never put a ball in play. And I just think that when I talk to people, especially about baseball, is that it's a game of failure. Because if you go three for ten in baseball, you got a chance to get to the hall of Fame. Now, in football, if a quarterback goes three for ten, he's going to be benched.

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If a basketball player shoots three for ten, going to be benched. And, but with baseball, it's about getting better. It's, it's about hitting this stride and you, and it's amazing how many successful baseball players hit in the, again, they're in the hall of Fame. Wow. Well, you certainly emphasize all that and like that, that's pretty cut and dry right there of how those statistics, how we can really look at those and apply those to our own life and our own failures.

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Cause it really, you know, it goes back to, you know, whether you're talking about business or anything you're doing. I mean, failure is a way to learn and get better and grow and grow, for sure. So let's talk about your book. You've got two books, lunch and learn, and then incredible business. And then you have your newest book, a random act of kindness.

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In the middle book. The book I chose live, and that's where people can go to. I chose live.com. That's my book about battling cancer. And I'm a ten year cancer survivor.

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And with my incredible business, that's what I do to lunch and learn, and that's where I bring in my certification in my experience with behavioral analysis and how you can relate to people and things like this. And the random act of kindness was really, I was sitting around during COVID and I remembered a short story that I had read. It had to be 20 years ago from the chicken soup for the soul series. And it was a short story, a true story written by John Slattery called a simple gesture. And I went back and I took that story and just embellished it and made it my own because it's a fascinating story about the jock and the nerd and this unbelievable friendship that was formed basically by a simple gesture, a random act of kindness.

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And. But with I chose live. One of the things that, that I really try to emphasize, and it's what we had talked about just a little bit earlier, but life is about choices, and it's the choices that you make that can either define you or they can defeat you. And, uh, when I was. I mean, I've never been sick a day in my life.

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Now, I've had four knee surgeries and a, uh, an Achilles blow up, but, uh, as far as being sick, I've never been sick. And so, back in 2013, I was having this kind of. This continuous sore throat. And I, like any man, I put it off as long as could you. And that's one of the points that I bring up in the book about men don't get get checked.

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Men don't go to the doctor. You know, we know for a fact that y'all women are smarter than us, but usually, you folk, you will go and get a physical every year and get checked. Men don't do that. And so I went and doctor checked my throat and said that, oh, it's probably a sinus infection. Don't worry about it.

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I'll give you some antibiotics, and it'll be fine in a few weeks. Well, a few weeks later, it wasn't any better. I went back and she said, well, I'll just up the antibiotics. Well, the problem is, is that I had a tumor the size of your fist at the base of my tongue that was growing. It was not a sinus infection.

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And all the antibiotics did was destroy my immune system, right? And so, July 4, weekend of 2013, I went into the bathroom, and one of my lymph nodes had popped out about the size of a golf ball on the side of my neck. So I said, that's not good. And I took a picture of it and actually sent to my ear, nose, and throat doctor in Austin. I was at the time, I was in home office with Aflac.

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I was in Georgia. And he said, quit screwing around with the primaries and go see a specialist. So I forced my way in and to an appointment, got a referral, saw a specialist two days later, and they did five needle biopsies. I don't know if you've ever had a needle biopsy, but I wouldn't recommend it to anybody. But he said, look, don't worry about it.

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You're a jock. You're healthy. Everything is fine. We'll get back with you in a couple of weeks. So, at the time, I had taken a district up in Dalton, Georgia.

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I'd actually crossed the border and lived in Chattanooga, Tennessee, mainly because Tennessee didn't have a state income tax. So I move. I moved right across the border. And, I mean, I wasn't home 30 minutes when I got a call from the doctor's office, and doctor wants to see you tomorrow at 02:00 p.m. So I drove back to Atlanta, and he walked in and said the three words that no one ever wants to hear, and that is, you have cancer.

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And so start the process, start the chemo, start the radiation. And this is immediate. And it wasn't so much a life or death issue, as much as if they didn't know if they could save my vocal cards or not remove my tongue. And going through this process of the chemo and the radiation, you know, if anybody that in your audience has gone through that, they know that there's good days and then there's. There's days that are kind of tough.

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And I remember I was about three or four weeks into my. My chemo and my radiation, and I was out on the balcony in Chattanooga, just looking at the Chattanooga river, just a beautiful summer day. Wind was blowing, and I felt this. This clump of hair on my arm. And I looked down and I was losing my hair.

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And so I went through. I did all the hands to the head, and every hair on my head fell out. And that was not a pretty sight, but it was more of a realization that what you're going through is real. And there again, it's about choices. I remember going into the house and sitting down and flipping through some channels, and I don't know if it was TNT or not, but there was a movie came on called Shawshank Redemption.

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That's one of my favorite movies. I love that movie. Yeah. You know, it made Tim Robbins a star, but. But the great actor Morgan Freeman.

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Yeah. Was in there. And there was a scene out in the yard where Tim Robbins character had been accused of killing his wife and was sent to Shawshank prison. And he had only been there about six or eight weeks, and he'd already been beaten and abused and raped and everything. And he was talking to the Morgan Freeman character, Red, and he said, you've been here for 40 years.

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You have been in this prison for 40 years. How can you do this? I mean, this place is a living hell. And Morgan Freeman said, well, life is about choices. You either get busy living or you get busy dying.

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And, Sandee, I can tell you that I turned off the tv and I went to my desk, and that's when I wrote my book. I chose live because this is something that you do have to make a choice about. And it's how you react to whatever happens to you is going to make a difference in your life. And I remember, I've had. I can't tell you how many people asked me, did I ever think about giving up?

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Did I ever think about just checking out? And I said, never. I said, number one, I had a six month old grandson that didn't know me, and I had not walked my daughter down the aisle yet. And now I got three grandsons that probably wish they didn't know me. I mean, I'm going to see them this weekend.

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My daughter gave me this beautiful granddaughter that I will see this weekend, and. But that all boils down to me having a purpose of fighting this, staying focused and doing what the doctors said. And I think what happens is that so many people lose their compass, they lose their direction. They don't have that purpose. And that's why you see about whatever suicides and depression sets in.

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And I try so hard, and I really tried hard with. I chose live to give people some inspiration on where this should go, how you can handle this. Number one, stress is the silent killer. And number two, men don't get checked. Our death rate is 58% higher than women because we don't go to the doctor.

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And a perfect example, and it breaks my heart, is Toby Keith, the great singer songwriter. He thought that he had indigestion. And this cancer, this tumor, when he finally went to the doctor, was the size of a grapefruit, and it ended up taking his life. And again with men, prostate cancer and colon cancer are the two main cancers. There's no easy cancer, but these are the two simplest cancers, if you catch them early.

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And so whenever I am giving my talks, I am out on the road speaking. And then again with the book, is that, please, you got to be able to handle the stress, and you've got to go get checked. But I will. I will tell you this. My kids will tell you, my life is clearly defined as AC and BC, and that is after cancer and before cancer.

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And, you know, and so every day, I feel is a blessing for me to be here. And I talk about on my bio and stuff that, uh, the last words my father said to me, son, make a difference. Well, I love that that's in your bio, and. And it just. You have to have your.

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Why, yes, that's. That's so. That's exactly right. I think when my father told me that, he thought about me being a coach and coaching and helping kids, but I think as I get older, it's a much more deeper meaning for me to do what I can do to pay it forward, to help people that are down to be up, and I know this is something that you are very familiar with, especially with the athletes that you work with, is to make sure that you stay away from as much negativity as possible. I do everything in my power to be as positive as I can and kind of be the solution guy, you know, instead of, oh, well, we can't do that or this isn't going to work.

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Well, guys, hey, I tell you, I was in a middle school football. I was a middle school football coach, and we played a team that we had beaten earlier in the year, and, man, they completely changed their defense. They stacked it on us. And I remember at halftime drawing plays in the dirt saying, guys, all that we've done this season, all that we worked on this past week, forget it. We have to do something else today.

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So life is about making that pivot, is making those changes, and it's something that I brought up with, and I want to make sure that the audience knows. I've got two free gifts. It's Mikecoispeaks.com gif, Mikecoispeaks.com gift, and it's Mike's ten tips to help you prevent cancer. And then I have chapter eight, and I chose live that they can read because I think it's a extremely powerful chapter. But, you know, anything that I can do to get the word out to help people improve their lives and especially their health, is very, very important to me.

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Oh, yeah, for sure. And I love how you were talking about choices because that's the biggest message that I have with my podcast, is that happiness is a choice and the choice is yours. Yes. And that just goes for everything. It goes down to forgiveness.

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You know, if you're feeling resentful toward another person or towards yourself or whatever, forgiveness is a choice. That's all you have to do. Gratitude. Gratitude is a choice. Everything we do in life is a choice.

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As far as your cancer goes, thank God that you have recovered and you seem to be really great. So thank goodness for that. I went through the same thing with my father. He was given three months to live twice and the same thing. It was like you've got BC and AC right before cancer and after cancer.

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And he lived for 16 years after being diagnosed and given three months to live two separate times. And so, you know, I really, you know, not that there's any sort of medical proof as to this, but I really do believe that when we have any sort of physical dis ease, a lot of it comes from your mindset and the stress. That kind of precipitates it. I do know that, yeah, the proof is out there that we can, we can do more to either hurt ourselves or help ourselves. Right.

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And I think a lot of that goes back to making the choice on if get busy living or get busy dying. Yeah, for sure. I've seen people, you know, have a very mild cancer, and I know somebody personally that passed and they had a cancer that really wasn't, it was a very low stage. And because of the stress that this person inflicted upon themselves and the way they were such a worried about every, you know, a worry wart, like just constant, constant, constant. Within four years, this person was dead and the cancer just spread throughout their body.

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And I just, you know, you can sit back and watch it and you try to talk to people, but that's a choice that people have to make, you know. Now, I'm not saying that that's her negativity, you know, caused the cancer to spread. It's just that, you know what? We're given a choice. Right?

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You know, your diet, you have that diagnosis. You have a choice. I know for me, God willing, if I ever had to cross that bridge, I would try to do everything I could possible to, you know, whether it was in the mindset, your diet, like, there's so many things that play into it because those are all choices that you can make. Those are things you have control over. You may not be able to control the cancer that's moving through your body, but you can control your mindset, you can control your diet, you can control your stress, you can control your sleep habits, you know, all of those things that go into it.

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You know, my oncologist, he was a, he was an older guy. He was pretty gruff, and I loved him. He called me Tex, and this was in Georgia. And he told me, he said, you're going to fly through this. Number one, because, you know, you are an athlete, number two is that you're in really great shape.

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And he said, you're not going to have near as much problems as so many of my patients have. Well, my wife is a scheduler for Texas oncology. She's the one that sets up chemo and radiation for the patients. And she has told me, she said, I don't think you realize how serious this cancer was. I mean, this cancer can really take you down.

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And you act like that. It was just, well, I just go through it. You make it happen and you, and you get to, you get to the other side, she said, but, you know, she has personal experience with many, many patients that had it a lot worse than I had. And I think it goes back to, uh, making that decision, number one, of being in pretty good shape, of being an athlete, understanding that these are the rules. You're telling me to do this, I will do it.

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I'm coachable. And then get through this thing. But, you know, there are, there are certain moments when they're having to put that board in. That is not a lot of fun. But I'll tell you what, when I went in and he, and he said, why don't we get this port out of you?

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You don't need it anymore. I mean, there's just certain moments that you think, you know what? I think I beat this. And so, knock on wood, I'm, you know, I'm ten. I'm ten years in.

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And again, I think that I appreciate what's out there much more than I did before. And it really makes a difference in your life. Yeah, for sure. I love talking about random acts of kindness because not only is it a way to help other people, but I tell you, if you're feeling down and out or any sort of negative emotion, if you do a random act of kindness with a stranger, just smile at somebody, help them out. It takes your energy level through the roof.

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Well, it feels so good. Well, I'm getting ready to be, I'm going to be the keynote speaker at a. It's, they're bringing three chamber of commerce is together in this, in this area. And the publisher of north magazine, for some reason, he just thinks that a random act of kindness is the greatest book that's ever written. And I love the guy, and I really appreciate it.

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And I said, well, you want me to talk about healthcare issues? No. You want me to talk about Aflac? No. You know, he goes, I want you to talk about the book.

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And, you know, and what happens is, is that you find out that exactly what you said is that you're not really sure. Whenever I talk about the book, I have a phrase that is always up that says, you never ever really know when. You never ever really know when. When that simple gesture, when that random act of kindness, it could possibly change somebody's life. That's right.

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That in the case in the book here on the random act of kindness, of how it actually saved someone's life, and when you have that kind of impact, and it's the same thing on the cancer side, where I was in Austin before I moved to Colorado Springs and I was playing, I still play this men's senior baseball. I think I'm 25 years old, and I was on third base, and the third baseman is a friend of mine. His name is Jimmy. He's a really good athlete. He's a good third baseman.

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I was on third base, and he said, hey, Mike, my wife made me read your book. I chose live. And I said, oh, well, good. And I went and had a colonoscopy a couple weeks ago. Now, he was 55, 56 years old, and it's recommended you get that colonoscopy at age 50.

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And he said, and I put it off, and put it off. But they found five pre cancerous polyps that were removed. And the proxologist said that if you would have waited another 18 to 24 months, you would have full blown colon cancer, and we would be having a completely different conversation than what we're having right now. And he said, so I just want to let you know, you saved my life. Wow.

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And I said, no, Jimmy, you saved your life. That act of doing, of going and getting the colonoscopy, of making that happen. But. And you know as well as I do that when we. When we talk and we speak and we do this, if that, if we can just reach one person, one person, we've done our job.

00:31:21
And that's what I really try to focus on going forward now. Well, on a side note, I waited till I was 55 to have a colonoscopy, and they removed three precancer polyps. So talk about, you know, I'm like, miss positivity and, like, it doesn't matter, right? Like, as long as you're, like, you said, get to the doctors, do what you're supposed to do, you know, and, like, thank God, right, that I took that step. And I'm telling all my girlfriends because we're all around, I'm like, get it done.

00:31:56
Like, go get it done. Like, yeah, you're uncomfortable for a day. Yeah, I have a story. I was helping with the Atlanta independent school district, enrollment for Aflac, and there was a. Just a precious young kindergarten teacher that was like, 31, 32 years old.

00:32:16
And so we were talking about the cancer plan, and she said, I'm really concerned about breast cancer because my grandmother died of breast cancer. My mother is in remission with breast cancer, and I'm worried about, you know, it's in the genes type thing for me and my sister. She said, I'm going to my physical here in a few weeks. Do you think I should get a mammogram? And I said, well, look, I said, because of your family's history, it's not a bad idea.

00:32:49
You know, go ahead and get it done and just make sure that everything is good and everything is clean. She called me a few weeks later, and she said, my insurance won't pay for the mammogram because I'm not 40. And I said, well, look, you've got this. This at policy. There's a $100.

00:33:12
You get $100 wellness check for going to the doctor. The mammogram is $150. So it's going to cost you $50 to get a mammogram. Well, she got the mammogram, and they found what they called a shadow, a spot behind her left breast. They went in, took it out.

00:33:31
There was no chemo. There's no radiation, just a. A outpatient surgery, a couple of stitches, and she's great. The thing about it is, her oncologist told her if she would have waited that eight or nine years to get that mammogram, she'd had full blown breast cancer and probably spread to her ovaries and inside her body. And so that's why I feel like it is so important to take the steps that, you know, none of us want to take.

00:34:10
You know, the colonoscopy, you know, in all fairness, the colonoscopy is kind of a joke. It's the prep that gets you. Right. Right. You know, and with men, they don't want to have a prostate exam.

00:34:22
They don't want the finger. Right. And it's like, guys just get it done and then forget about it. And do you know what women have to go through? Oh, that's right.

00:34:32
And I tell them all the time. I said, I mean, women are probed and begged. They were violated beyond measure. Yeah. Everywhere.

00:34:40
I said, God, get checked, you know? But I think that it is so important that, again, it's about choices. That's what it comes down to. And when I. And every speech that I give, I tell that about get busy living, get busy dying, that life is about choices.

00:35:03
And I hope and pray that you make the same choice I made, that follow the path that I am following each and every day, and that is, I chose live. And that's what I try to emphasize with the audiences and the people that I speak to. Such words of wisdom spoken from a true inspiration to this world. So thank you so much, Mike. I love everything that you're doing.

00:35:34
Thank you for being there and being that inspiration to so many people in your speaking and the athletes that you may have a chance to work with and whatnot, and more power to you for playing baseball. I mean, hey, there's a way you can still do then go for it, right? Yeah. Well, the thing about it is they keep dropping the age in my division. Now it's 45 and I just turned 70.

00:35:59
I'm going, gosh, I'm playing against guys that are 25 years younger than me. So I said, I've got to step it up a notch to stay in shape. And I promised my son. My son was a tremendous athlete at Austin Westlake High School, which is known for. That's the home of Drew Brees and Nick Foles, both Super Bowl MVP's.

00:36:24
It's. He was the 2000 Texas athlete of the year. Football, baseball. And, you know, and it's part of what, you know, the growth process and where we are and what we can do is that, again, it's about making those choices that can benefit you and can benefit the person either next to you or even again, like we talked about, that absolute random act of kindness that can allow you to feel better about yourself but do something positive for somebody that, quite honestly, might not have had very much positivity in his life or her life for a while. And I think that makes a difference.

00:37:14
Completely because we never know what that other person is going through or the battles that they've had to face in their life. So. Yeah, love it. All right, so all of Mike's information will be in the show notes, and I will also put Mike Coy speaks.com tips. Is that right?

00:37:32
Yeah, yeah. Oh. Gift slash gift. Microspace.com gif so they can get the Mike's ten tips on how to prevent cancer. And then chapter eight.

00:37:44
And I chose live. Awesome. All right, everyone, check those out. And thank you so much for joining me today, Mike, and to the whole audience as well. Thank you.

00:37:54
Thank you. Sandee is my honor.

00:38:07
I hope you enjoyed today's conversation, and as promised, I'd like to give you more details of what you can expect as a member of the happiness solved exclusive community. First, you'll have access to a treasure trove of extra podcast episodes. These episodes dive deeper into the topics we discuss, featuring additional expert interviews only found here. But that's not all. As a member, you also get access to a series of mindset training sessions.

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These recordings are tailored to help you understand the how and why your mindset is the most important asset you have, empowering you to achieve your personal and professional goals. And for those of you looking to find a moment of peace in your busy lives, we've got something special. Exclusive guided meditations. These sessions are crafted to help you relax, refocus and recharge. Whether you're a meditation guru or just starting out, there's something here for everyone.

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Becoming a member is more than just accessing extra content. It's about joining a community of like minded individuals, all on a journey to live life to its fullest and become the best possible version of you. So how can you join? It's so simple. Go to happinesssolved dot supercast.com and sign up.

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Don't miss out on this opportunity to deepen your journey with us. Again, that's happinesssolved dot supercast.com and it will also be in the show. Notes I am so grateful you're a part of our happiness solved family and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support. Again, I am so grateful for you and I hope that that you and your family are healthy and safe and that your lives are filled with peace, joy and happiness. Take care, everyone.